


Don't Deserve You

by kierathefangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bi Dean, Bi Gabriel, Bi Sam, Big Brother Gabriel, Brotherly Lucy, Bully Raphael, Cas & Dean kiss (a lot), Cas gets hurt and Dean is all overprotective, Court Room Scene, F/M, Father comes back in and everyone cries a little, Fight Scene, Gabriel has a panic attack and Dean & Michael & Lucifer comfort him, Homo Cas, Homophobia, Lawyer Lucifer, M/M, Michael has a breakdown and Cas comforts him, OC, OC friends of Raphael, Overprotective Dean, Overprotective Lucifer, Overprotective Michael, homophobic father
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-06 20:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 48,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5430338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kierathefangirl/pseuds/kierathefangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is hurt by Raphael & his friends and Dean gets bruised ribs & broken hand protecting him. Fluff. Opinionated (first person). Overprotective Michael & Lucifer as big bros to Cas (based on "Love, All Alike" storyline but in my own style). Lots of fluff. Raphael & friends are homophobic and so is Eli Novak (Cas, Michael, Anna, Lucifer, and Gabriel's dad). See "Love, All Alike" for more detail on inspirational storyline.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lucifer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Phantoms_and_Foxgloves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantoms_and_Foxgloves/gifts).



> This sprouted from Phantoms_and_Foxgloves' story "Love, All Alike". Credits for original characters to them. I read it and couldn't resist writing this. It's got adorable points and will be split into differing perspectives by chapters. (chapter one is Dean, so far, and chapter two is Cas.) Cas is hurt, so is Dean, and Lucifer's a bad ass lawyer. :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is hurt. Dean's perspective. Fluff and Gabriel & Sam enter.

**_The look of fear and resignation was heartbreaking._ **

 

I struggle harder against Raphael, kicking as hard as I can.

Cas hits the ground with a cry of pain, shouting as if on instinct, “ _Lucifer!_ ”

_No. Not Cas, damn it, not Cas._

I gasp as loud as I can manage, “ _Gabriel! Sammy!_ ”

A fist hits the back of my head, sending me reeling. _Come on, please hear me. We need you._

A knee successfully connects with my ribs and I gasp, coughing and spitting valiantly in Raphael’s eyes.

He swings a ringing blow on my eye. I sag, swallowing bile.

Sam rounds the corner, Gabriel in tow, just as I hit the ground with a groan.

Sam’s eyes widen. “ _Dean!_ ”

I shake them off, rolling away. Disoriented, I tumble to my feet and gasp for air. “Sammy!”

Gabriel, having frozen in anger, swings a hard punch on Raphael’s jaw. Raphael stumbles and Gabriel raises an eyebrow at me. “Dean.”

I gasp for air, kicking at the three holding Cas down. “Gabriel.”

Sam swings at Rigby and he lets go with a startled yelp.

Cas groans, shoving at the olive-skinned boy sitting on top of him and gasping, “Gabriel, oh my god.”

Gabriel kicks at Kennedy and he takes off running. Rigby takes off after Kennedy seconds later.

Raphael swings at me and I catch his fist, my hand collapsing under the pressure.

I grunt in pain, shoving him back.

Together, Sam and I manage to tug the boy off. Sam shoves him and he stumbles, taking off after Kennedy and Rigby quick as can be.

Raphael seems to realize he’s outnumbered and hisses, taking off.

I collapse next to Cas, checking his pulse. Still there, but faint.

“Whether he _wants_ to or not, we’re pressing charges. Call your brother Lucifer.”

I drag Cas to his feet, stumbling with his weight. “Sam, gimme a hand.”

Gabriel scoops Cas up and Sam scoops me up.

Cas fumbles in his pocket, producing a fancy new phone. “He put his n-number in here,” he chokes, shaking violently in Gabriel’s arms.

I take the phone, dialing Lucifer and putting it on speaker. We’re all shaking too much to type.

Lucifer picks up on the second ring. “...Cas?”

Gabriel leans towards the phone. “Lucifer, I never thought I’d say this, but...I need you. We’re not only pressing charges, Dean—his boyfriend—was hit pretty bad, too.”

Lucifer’s breathing goes shaky. “ _What?_ Is Cas okay? Is Dean okay?”

“Lucifer,” I gasp, “Cas is alive but just barely. I don’t care if he wants to or not, we’re pressing charges. And you’re the lawyer who’s already on our side.”

Lucifer sucks in a breath. “You’re Dean Winchester, right? From the garage?”

“Yeah, I am,” I laugh weakly.

Sam clears his throat. “Hi, I’m your brother’s friend, Sam. I’m Dean’s little brother. Um, how long until you can come down here?”

Lucifer sighs. “Give me a couple hours to secure a flight and I’ll be on my way.”

“L-Lucifer,” Cas stutters, “I-I need you here.”

“ _Cas?_ ” Lucifer exclaims.

“Yeah, Lucy, i-it’s me,” Cas chokes.

“I’m on my way,” Lucifer murmurs in a deadpan voice, and his end of the line goes dead.

I end the call and hand the phone to Gabriel. He pockets it, tightening his grip on Cas. “Come on, Sam. Off to the hospital we go.”

Sam leads the way to Baby, pulling the keys out of my pocket. “You better be careful with Dean’s baby.”

Gabriel laughs, unlocking the car and setting Cas in the back seat. Sam sets me next to him, putting the seat up and taking shotgun.

Gabriel sits in the driver seat and turns the key, shutting the door and peeling out.

My hand finds Cas’ as I black out.


	2. Brothers Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Michael and Lucifer (in person)! Michael gives Cas their dad's number. Fluff and support. Family bonding. Not gonna spoil! ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' perspective. Brotherly wrath.

Lucifer’s eyes widen as they fall on me. “Cas?”

I grimace, reaching out and catching his hand. “Lucifer.”

Lucifer moves closer, his hand closing on mine. “Oh my god, Cas. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Is Dean...?”

Lucifer smiles shyly. “He’s fine. Bruised ribs, broken hand, worried as hell about you, but fine.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Really?”

Lucifer nods, a genuine smile quirking his lips. “Yeah. He’s pretty protective of you. He tried to come over but his ribs stopped him.”

“Well, he is my boyfriend,” I murmur uneasily.

Lucifer’s eyes light up. “Oh, so _he’s_ the one Gabriel was talking about.”

I frown curiously. “What?”

Lucifer shrugs. “Oh, he said there’s only one man he knows who would even _consider_ giving his life for you—other than family. Your boyfriend. Didn’t name him.”

Heat floods my cheeks and I grin. “Sam might, but for completely different reasons, and probably as a _last_ resort, knowing him.”

Sam stops in the doorway. “Oh my god, Cas!”

I look up as he rushes in, hugging me carefully. “Are you okay, man?”

I laugh weakly as he releases me. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Sam smiles at Lucifer, offering his hand. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Sam. Sam Winchester.”

Lucifer takes Sam’s hand in his free hand. “Lucifer, Lucifer Novak.”

Sam grins. “Anyone call you the devil?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” His eyes twinkle with amusement as he raises a critical eyebrow. “Mainly Gabriel. He also still calls me _Lucy_ , the dork.”

His fond smile says otherwise and Sam rolls his eyes, grinning. “Everyone calls me Sammy, particularly Dean and Gabe.”

“Dean’s a good brother,” Lucifer observes softly, his smile slipping slightly. If I hadn’t been looking for the twinge of regret, the frown of his mouth, I wouldn’t have caught it. “And quite the friend.”

Sam laughs. “Heard he tried to come find Cas.”

Lucifer's soft smile returns. “Yeah, he did. His ribs stopped him from getting up.”

Sam laughs. “I’ll tell him he’s okay. The fool, honestly.”

Sam slips out just as Jo slips in, a shy smile turning up the corners of her mouth. “Cas!”

I smile at her uneasily as Lucifer looks up, a smile quirking his lips. “Hello.”

Jo pauses, her eyes taking in Lucifer and his semi-protective stance, the hand clutched tightly in my own. “Um, hi. I don’t think we’ve met...?”

Lucifer offers his free hand. “Lucifer Novak.”

She giggles, accepting his hand. “Jo Harvelle.”

I shake my head, grinning. “Hey Jo, where’s Gabe?”

She flashes me a wide smile. “I hear he’s talking Dean down from trying to come find you.”

Lucifer chuckles. “Again?”

“Yep.” Jo flashes him a winning smile. “So you’re his lawyer brother?”

Lucifer smoothes out his suit self-consciously. “Yes.”

Jo giggles again, ruffling my hair. “All your family like him and Gabe?”

I shake my head. “Not Michael. Not sure about Anna. _Definitely_ not Dad.”

Jo and Lucifer both notice the tightness in my voice as I bring up Dad.

Lucifer winces, his smile strained. “Father’s still a damn homophobe.”

Jo bites her lip. “He’s an asshole. Being homosexual makes Cas who he is.”

“He’s not...” Lucifer tries, shaking his head. “He’s not an _asshole_ , he’s just far too _traditional_.”

Jo sighs. “Still an asshole. Oh, and Cas...um. How do I tell you this? Someone’s here, insisting on seeing you. And I’m ninety percent sure it’s Michael. He keeps insisting ‘he’s my baby brother, let me see him’. He’s getting desperate and pleading with Sam and Gabriel but they’re not budging.”

I wince. “Light brown hair, taller than Gabriel, pale skin?”

“Uh, yeah. Exactly.”

I sigh in time with Lucifer. “Oh my god. That _is_ Michael.”

Lucifer bites his lip. “I had to tell him so he’d let me come. Didn’t know he _followed_ me here. He broke down when I told him about Raphael and his buddies. Never thought I’d see him do that. Fell to his knees and everything.”

I shiver. “Tell Gabriel it’s not his decision to make. I wanna see him. It’s been a long time. Feels like forever.”

Jo nods and slips out. Lucifer fidgets, making to pull his hand away. I shake my head, tightening my grip. “I need you here to get through this.”

Gabriel comes storming in. “Cas, he’s _Michael_ , for God’s sake! Where’s your common sense?”

I roll my eyes, sliding up to a sitting position. “Not your decision, Gabe, he’s _my_ brother, too.”

Gabriel sighs, crossing his arms. “I warned you. Not my fault if he’s an ass.”

Gabriel exits in a towering temper.

Michael peeks in, eyes wide. “Cas?”

I look up, shooting Lucifer a glance. “Michael.”

He edges in, eyes rimmed in red from crying. “Are you...are you okay?”

I shrug. “Better, yeah. You?”

He shivers, slowly shuffling across the room. “Why does Gabriel hate me?”

I frown, raising an eyebrow. “He doesn’t _hate_ you. He’s just angry because I told him about the night I left. He thinks you guys—at least one of you—should’ve done something, even if just to check up if I’m okay. I don’t disagree, but I disagree with him treating you like shit for it.”

Michael swallows, eyes downcast. “I was too surprised to do anything.”

I shrug. "Hey, I figured you guys knew about it. I didn't say anything cause I figured I didn't have to. I didn't expect _that_ reaction. Mainly Dad's."

“He hit you,” Michael hisses, anger seeping into his usually-deadpan voice. “He _hit_ you!”

I shrug, touching the spot. “And I can still feel it. I’ve moved on, but it still hurts like hell.”

Michael gestures wide. “I tried to tell him after that it was _wrong_ to hit you and all, but he just hit me and said to leave it.”

I slide off the bed, releasing Lucifer’s hand to hug Michael. “That’s more than I could’ve expected.”

Lucifer blushes, staring awkwardly at his feet.

Michael blinks in surprise before his arms find their way around me. “I missed you so damn much. You and Gabe brought light and love into the house, made it a _home_. It was never the same afterwards.”

“He’s right,” Lucifer murmurs, shifting from foot to foot. “I’m not really good at this kinda thing, but he’s right; without you, there was just fear and obedience. Anna lost her way. The family fell apart. That’s...that’s why I came out to tell you about Dad.”

I look up, smiling at him. “You _let_ yourself be oppressed. I wasn’t having that bullshit.

Lucifer smiles shyly back. “I know. You and Gabe were the free spirits and it killed me to see you _both_ leave home.”

Michael laughs softly, tightening his embrace. “Yeah. He’s right. That was both surprising and heartbreaking to see the last free spirit leaving. We were kicking ourselves for doing nothing about it.”

Lucifer comes around the bed, touching my shoulder. “I...I’m not very good at this. I’m s-sorry for leaving you all alone.”

I smile up at him. “Nah, it’s cool. You’re here now. That’s what matters.”

Michael releases me, eyes shining with unshed tears. “I love you.”

“I know,” I murmur softly, squeezing his hand. “I love you, too. And I still love Dad, I just don’t want to come crawling back looking like this.”

Michael’s smile becomes more natural, less strained. “Yeah, I wouldn’t, either. You look like shit. I don’t think Dad would be too nice about that. Probably say you deserved it like an asshole.”

I roll my eyes fondly, a little piece of my life and heart falling back in place as Michael, of all people, calls Dad an asshole and makes fun of him. “Prob’ly.”

“Personally, if I could, I’d give those kids a taste of my opinion.” Michael winks, squeezing my hand. “If it wouldn’t affect your case against them, I would.”

I laugh, warmth overwhelming the little anger left. “You’re such a bully, oh my god.”

Michael ruffles my hair. “When it’s my baby brother getting hurt, hell yeah I am.”

Lucifer scoffs. “You’re talking. Those damn kids are going _down_.”

I laugh, weak and relieved all at once. “You’re so melodramatic. Chillax.”

Michael raises his eyebrows teasingly. “I’m a mature guy, I don’t _chillax_.”

I grin. “Oh, shut up.”

He grins back, the tension rushing out of him like the air whooshing out of a balloon. “Make me.”

I shove him playfully, giggling. “You’re such a dork.”

“You’re a nerd and a geek...and a dork.” Michael winks and I laugh again.

Sam peeks in. “Hey, Cas, Dean’s dying over here.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”

I wave a dismissive hand. “Sam, I’m having a moment here. You know, brotherly reunion and all. Dean can deal. _Do_ tell him I said that.”

Sam laughs, wandering away.

I slip one arm around Lucifer and one around Michael, resting my head over Michael’s pounding heart. “I miss this more than anything.”

Michael ruffles my hair, wrapping one arm around me and the other around Lucifer. “Yeah, so do I. Only one thing’s missing. It’s not Dad.”

I look up. “Gabriel.”

Michael pales slightly, nodding slowly. “Yeah.”

“I heard my name?”

I glance over. “Oh my god, Gabriel. Get your ass in here.”

Gabriel wanders over, raising a teasing eyebrow. “Missing me?”

I swat his arm. “Oh, shut up, you wouldn’t’ve heard your name if you weren’t eavesdropping. Jerk.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Gabriel’s expression softens. “Are you okay?”

I shrug. “Why wouldn’t I be? I’m just fine. Besides, you’re killing the moment, man.”

Michael tugs Gabriel into the embrace, a big circle of brothers. He lets him, throwing an arm around me and Michael. “So Dad’s still being a homophobic douche canoe?”

Michael bursts out laughing. “I don’t know if...I’d word it like _that_ ,” he chuckles, “But you could say he is, yeah. Anna’s scared of him—not quite sure why—so she stayed behind with him.”

“How're your kids, Michael?”

He smirks. “Oh, they’re fine. Missing you like hell, but fine. They keep asking when you’re coming back.”

I roll my eyes. “Of course they are. Um...is Dad okay?"

He shrugs. “You could say that. He’s not improving, no, but he’s not getting any worse. He just keeps asking for Gabe. Specifically him.”

Gabriel stiffens. “He _what_?”

“You heard me, little brother,” Michael murmurs. “He’s been asking for you. That’s part of why he didn’t object to me coming down. He knows you’re down here somewhere.”

The circle closes in tighter as we all shiver.

The tension breaks as Sam peeks in, biting his lip. “Hey, guys, um...Dean’s pestering me? Cas, seriously. He’ll kill me if he doesn’t drop dead of worry first.”

Gabriel laughs and just like that, the tension is just...gone. “Alright, give us a minute, Sammy.”

We break apart. Michael brushes my hair with his fingers fondly.

I pull out my phone with a quick smile to Lucifer and hold it out to Michael. “Stay in touch?”

He accepts it, programming in his number, his wife’s number and Dad’s. “Just in case.”

I grin, amused. “Maybe he’ll come round. Eventually.”

He hands me back my phone and I offer it to Lucifer. “Got anyone in mind?”

Gabriel hands his phone to Michael as Lucifer accepts mine, programming in Anna’s number and his wife’s. _Anna!_

Lucifer hands it back and I pocket it, ruffling his hair affectionately.

Michael drapes an arm around me and I wrap my arm around him, calmer than I’ve been in a long time.

Gabriel wraps a loving arm around Lucifer. “I’ve missed you, Lucy.”

Lucifer lets the name slide, wrapping an arm around him. “Yeah, I’ve missed you. Home turned back into a house with you free spirited kids gone from it.”

Gabriel grins, wandering out the door in that side-embrace. “Awwwww, how sweet.”

I lean my head against Michael. “And our beloved brother is back in action.”

Michael laughs as we wander slowly towards the door. “Yep. I’ve missed that energy.”

“Yeah, he never lost it.” We slip out the door, following the sound of voices to Dean's door.

Michael hesitates for a moment before we slip in together.


	3. Michael's Tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's a bit of a jerk to Michael and Cas tells him to let him talk. Michael explains that he tried to find Gabriel, ect. Fluff. Gabriel breaks the tension with his baked goods. ;) Dean & Cas hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starts right after previous chapter, still Cas' perspective.

Lucifer looks up, grinning. “Your boyfriend’s really easily embarrassed.”

I shrug. “Over us, yeah, cause _we’re_ still new. In general, no.”

Dean looks up. “Cas! Oh my god, are you okay?”

“Totally fine,” I insist gently. “Better than ever, if truth be told.”

Michael blushes scarlet, ducking his head. “Cas...”

Dean’s gaze moves to Michael. “Cas, I don’t think we’ve met, would you?”

I give him a stern warning glare before nodding to him. “Dean, Michael Novak. Michael, Dean Winchester. Much less formally known as my boyfriend.”

A faint blush touches Dean’s cheeks on the word ‘boyfriend’. His eyebrows raise and I can see the criticism from that night. “Michael? _The_ Michael I’ve heard so much about?”

Michael ducks his head, tightening his arm around me. I can tell just from that small gesture he can still see the hostility.

I tighten my embrace as he murmurs, “Look...”

Dean bites his lip to keep from baring his teeth. “You can’t explain away that you did _nothing_ , Michael. You were _worse_ than Lucifer! You stuck to your father’s side like glue.”

Michael cringes into me. “Dean, I—”

“I don’t _care_ what you've got to say.” Dean crosses his arms, covering up a wince due to his bruised ribs.

Michael flinches, shooting me a pleading look.

I give Dean a glare. “Dean, seriously. Let him talk.”

Dean closes his mouth, surprised. “Why?”

“Because I said so,” I insist, raising an eyebrow. “You’re being _rude_. You’d be pissed if no one would listen to you.”

Dean sighs, shifting his gaze to the wall. “Whatever.”

Michael bites his lip, addressing himself to Dean, Sam and Gabriel.  “Look, I didn’t just _sit back_ and let him be an asshole. I was too surprised to act when Cas first said something, granted, but I told Dad it was wrong to hit him for that. He just hit me and told me to leave it. I tried finding Gabriel, to get out before it was too late. He found out, and that was terrifying. Anna was cowering in the corner, Lucifer ran out of the house. He struck me repeatedly. So I stopped looking. I did as I was told so he wouldn’t kill me.”

Gabriel sucks in a breath but stays silent and still.

Michael shrugs. “Maybe I should’ve tried harder. I don’t know. Gabriel and Cas made the house a _home_. With them, free spirited as they were, gone...it was just a _house_ again. A roof over our heads. I started looking again, purposefully when he wasn’t around. Then Lucifer shows up and says he found you guys but Cas and his boyfriend got hurt by some homophobes. So I followed him here.”

He raises an eyebrow at Gabriel. “I wasn’t expecting _your_ reaction to my appearance.”

Sam uncrosses his arms and holds his hand out as a peace offering. “I’ve never met you, but I’ve heard a lot from both Gabriel and Cas. I’m Sam.”

Michael accepts his hand gently, his gaze rising from his shoes. “I’ve heard some about you. Cas’ longest-lasting friend and all.”

Sam blushes scarlet and drops his hand as I flush. “Wh-what?”

I swallow, muttering, "Most of my friends don't last long. Longest was two weeks. They either pitied me or wanted someone to follow them around and parrot their words."

Sam shakes his head. "But you're _awesome_.”

Heat floods my cheeks as I look up. “Most people don’t try to see past the surface like you do.”

Sam scowls. “That’s stupid.”

Michael smiles appreciatively. “Yeah, I know.”

Sam shakes his head. “Um.... _anyway_...”

Dean groans, falling back on his pillow. “Damn ribs hurt like a bitch.”

I move forward, offering a hand. “I know.”

Dean grins, taking my hand and scooting up into a sitting position. “Yeah, I know you do.”

I release Michael, wrapping my arms around Dean and lowering my voice. “Thank you. It’s fuzzy, but I know you and Sammy pulled one of the guys off of me. Olive skin and all.”

Dean wraps his arms around me warmly. “Yeah, I know. Nearly blacked it out, and you almost died.”

His voice goes cold on the word ‘died’. Michael winces, averting his gaze.

The tension breaks as Gabriel asks sarcastically, “Boo hoo, are we gonna eat or are you not hungry?”

Gabriel lifts a bag of treats from his bakery and the tension vanishes as everyone scrambles for their bit.


	4. Won't Come Crawling Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set from their dad's perspective. Cas and Lucifer texting, and Michael steals Lucy's phone temporarily to text. Dad being all fatherly. Cas explains his condition over text and their dad is all pissed that Donald Finnerman (Raphael's dad) is trying to come after Cas. Doctors are shown fussing over Cas and Eli (mentioned over text for Cas, he's all frustrated over it like 'they're fussing over little bruises' frustrated) and Lucifer and Cas both describe Dean to Eli in detail. Lucifer mentions Dean kissing Cas in front of him and Eli is like 'I did not need to know that ew' over it. Fluff and bonding.
> 
> Cue the silly winky faces (from Lucifer while talking about Dean and from Michael while discussing Cas & Gabriel with Eli). ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set from Eli Novak's perspective (their dad). This is how I imagine him to be, all chill and cool until someone pisses him off (like Cas & Gabriel & even Michael unfortunately found out the hard way).
> 
> In texting, centered and underlined with time in parentheses (i.e.: "(2:03PM)") is father, aligned right and also underlined is Michael & Lucifer (you can tell who's who by what they're saying). Aligned left and not underlined with time using a dash (i.e. "2:03PM -") is Cas.
> 
> Long chapter but it greatly improves the family's relationship with their father.

My phone dings and I disentangle my arm from the blankets of the white bed. I lift my phone, unlocking it with shaking fingers. A text from an unknown number?

**_1:33PM_ **

**Dad, it’s Castiel. Lucifer gave me a phone. I heard you had a stroke? Lucy seemed pretty shaken up.**

My eyes widen. _Castiel. Lucifer talked to him?_ I shake my head, tongue darting out to lick my lips.

**_(1:34PM)_ **

** How did you get my number? And yes, but I’m pretty recovered, Castiel. The doctors are fawning over me. **

Castiel responds almost immediately.

**_1:34PM -_ **

**Michael’s here, with Gabriel and I. He gave it to me. Call me Cas, please.**

I raise an eyebrow, muttering, “Seriously?"

**_(1:35PM)_ **

** How’s Gabriel? **

Silence for a few minutes.

**_1:41PM –_ **

**Sorry, doctors are fawning over me, too. Gabe’s fine, just pissed as I’ve ever seen him. Lucifer wants to press charges and all. Michael’s all touchy-feely and hugging both me and Gabriel a lot. And my friends.**

I shake my head. _First of all, what friends? Why does Lucifer want to press charges? And why’s Gabriel pissed off?_ _That text raises more questions than it answers._

**_(1:42PM)_ **

** That _raises_ more questions than it answers, Castiel Nov—Cas. **

The cursor blinks for a minute before he fires back.

**_1:43PM –_ **

**I know, sorry. Fire away.**

I shake my head, bewildered. He’s being _polite_.

**_(1:44PM)_ **

** What charges? _Lawyer-_ related charges? **

The ringing silence on his end worries me before he fires back.

**_1:45PM –_ **

**Um. I’m in the hospital. ...Again.**

I shake my head, sitting up. _Again? This has happened before?_

**_(1:45PM)_ **

**_ Again?  _ ** ** This has happened before? **

I rub my eyes. _Did I read it wrong? Nope. What got him there...?_

**_1:46PM –_ **

**Oh, um...yeah. Twice now. Bruised ribs, and as my friends put it ‘busted up face’ last time. Not sure what’s wrong this time, they’re still fussing over bruises and little stuff. I know it’s bad, though.**

I hesitate, a wash of sympathy rushing through me, before letting my fingers fly across the keys, leading the way.

**_(1:48PM)_ **

** What happened? Are you coming home? **

Silence again. The tension builds until, after what feels like an eternity, he texts back.

**_2:00PM-_ **

**No. I won’t come crawling home after...all that. You know what happened as well as I do. And Gabriel wouldn’t object to me staying away either.**

**Some kid Raphael is a homophobe and he won’t leave me alone, I’m leaving it at that. If you want to know, check the two hospital fees and what they’re for. You’re the one who told Michael to remove me from the insurance card for things like this, the cost’s your fault.**

**The lawyer part is because Raphael’s dad is saying he’ll push a lawsuit and a restraining order because Raphael told him I’m the one hurting him—obviously not, Raphael’s fine, might have a broken jaw from Gabriel but he’s not in the damn hospital—and Lucifer said he’d fight it because there are witnesses to prove him wrong and there’s so much evidence against him and Raphael & his friends. **

**And no, I’m not fine. I’m in pain and my boyfriend is in pain and I’m not in the mood for this shit. Yes, I have a boyfriend. He’s the most kind, supportive, understanding guy ever and I wouldn’t change a thing. His name’s Dean Winchester.**

**If Lucifer or Michael mention him, don’t be a damn ‘homophobic douche canoe’ (which is what Gabriel called Raphael’s dad, Donald Finnerman) about it.**

**It’s not a lifestyle choice and if I had the choice, I wouldn’t change a thing because I would never have met Dean or his little brother Sam or my friends Jo Harvelle and Alfie. So suck it up and _deal_. **

**I’m not coming back. I have a good life here. I live with Gabriel. He runs a bakery and works magic with food. He made a rainbow macaroon somehow (tastes terrible, but worth the effort because Lucifer ate one). He does wedding cakes and everything. Sure he wouldn’t object to helping me and Dean out if it comes down to that. So, no. I’m not coming to you and I’m not fine either.**

**I’m injured as hell, yeah, still have bruised ribs—I think they might be broken now—and bruises everywhere but I’ll live because Dean, Gabriel, and Sam saved my life.**

**Literally saved my life. I mean, pulled some guy off of me who wasn’t stopping saved my life. I almost passed out. Dean said my pulse was so faint he wasn’t sure if I had died yet or not.**

I wince, swallowing. _Father God and Mother Mary have mercy on him. Holy Mother of God._

**_(2:03PM)_ **

**...Anna’s met him, Donald Finnerman. Said he was the sweetest guy ever, runs a car dealership down there. Hard to imagine him being like that. **

The nurse peeks in, handing me a couple pills and a glass. “Here. You were supposed to take these a little while ago but you were sleeping and I didn’t want to bother you.”

I take the pain meds and hand the glass back. “And your daughter, Anna, says she wants to see you.”

I set my phone down. “Okay, send her in.”

My phone pings as the door shuts behind her.

**_2:05PM –_ **

**Ha, ha. Maybe to her. He was furious. He runs a eurotrash car dealership and thinks it makes him royalty around here, which makes his son feel the same. Tell her I said hi?**

I roll my eyes, sighing.

**_(2:05PM)_ **

**Yeah, she’s coming in in a little here. Tell Donald I said hi, and I’ll skin him if he (or his son & friends) lays another _finger_ on you or your friends  & family. Say ‘Anna’s father’, he’ll remember me.**

**_2:05PM –_ **

**On it. Still love you in a father-son way, but still not the same as before that night. Michael & Lucifer say hi and pass along their greetings to Anna, too.**

**_2:06PM –_ **

**Okay. Love you, too.**

I set my phone down as the door opens and Anna slips in, her curly red hair bouncing on her back as she turns. “Hi, Dad. How are you doing?”

I shrug. “Better. Michael apparently gave Castiel my number. Lucifer, Michael, and Castiel say hi.”

Anna giggles. “Well, I say hi back. Brothers, right?”

I smile at her lovingly. “Yep.”

“So, um, Donald Finnerman just contacted me and said he’s trying to file some restraining order and wants my help. Wanted to check in with you on that?”

I shake my head, gritting my teeth. “Don’t do it. He’s filing against Castiel, because Cas got hurt by _his_ son and he’s pissed that his son got hit back.”

Her mouth pops open. “Is Cas okay?”

I shake my head. “Said he’s _not_ okay. Bruised ribs, busted up face, and still more injuries. Donald has to fend for himself. He’s not going up against my sons like that. Lucifer’s the lawyer on Cas’ side.”

“Do you have his number?”

I nod towards the phone. “Since he just texted me, yes.”

She picks up the phone and enters the number in hers under ‘Cas’, setting my phone back down and firing off a text before pocketing her phone. “Okay. Anything else?”

“Gabriel is with Cas.”

Her eyes widen in surprise. “Oh! Where are they?”

“Since Lucifer said he had lawyer work to do down in a small town in Kansas, Lawrence, I’d say that’s where they are. Michael, Gabriel, Lucifer, and his friends are there with him.”

Anna rubs her eyes. “Long, long day. So much work to do, then Cas and Gabriel and Donald, and...ugh.”

I frown. “You could say that. It’s been really long. Cas _texted_ me. After all this time.”

Anna sighs. “As much as I’d like to stay, I’ve got some work to do before the day is done. Love you.”

I smile softly. “Love you, too, sweetie. Stay safe.” My smile slips, becoming bitter. “And if Donald asks why you can’t help or tries to argue, direct him to me.”

Anna giggles. “Okay, Daddy. See you later.”

She slips out and I pick my phone up to a new text from Cas.

**_2:14PM –_ **

**It’s worse than I thought. Broken ankle that’s twisted, broken ribs, black eye, bruised hip bone (like last time) and bruises basically everywhere. And one of the ribs punctured my lung. Explains why it burns to breathe.**

I grimace, biting my lip and shivering before moving to reply.

**_(2:18PM)_ **

** Anna said Donald asked for her help. Told her to refuse and direct him to me if he argues. Look, I’m sorry. Your mother would have hated to see you and Gabriel treated as you were. Same goes for Michael and Lucifer, too. Tell Dean I said hi and thanks for saving your life. Oh, and Anna says hi back to all of you boys. And say hi to your friends (by the way, what friends? I don’t recall friends being in your vocabulary, my boy) for me. Tell Lucifer I’ll back him up if I need to, since Donald came to Anna and I for help in filing a restraining order against you. **

I swallow and sigh, waiting half-patiently for a reply.

**_2:19PM –_ **

**Lucifer said he can use that move against Donald (Gabriel calls him Donnie, by the way). Dean says hi back and Gabriel says hi (rather shyly, knowing him). My friends said ‘hey, Cas’ dad’ like the little nerds they are.**

**And I have friends from school. Met Dean because Sam was my friend. I suppose Dean saved my life when my ribs and hip were bruised, that’s why we started talking. And thanks for standing up against him for me.**

**Ha, ha, friends has always been in my vocabulary but it was more ‘my longest-lasting friend was two weeks long’ and not ‘Sam’s still my friend and has been since the beginning of this school year’. It’s been, what, a couple months? He’s still talking to me. That’s a first.**

**Gimme a minute, impatient doctors.**

I smirk, amused. _Same here._

**_2:19PM –_ **

** Same here, but not right this minute. Let me know when you can talk. **

Silence until Lucifer texts me.

**_2:20PM –_ **

** Cas is really happy you’re being all supportive.  **

**_2:21PM –_ **

** Good. He’s still my son, homosexual or not. You’ve met his boyfriend, haven’t you? What’s he like? **

Several minutes silence. Only the speech bubble tells me he’s replying, until the phone _pings_ again.

**_2:24PM –_ **

** You’d like Dean. He’s funny, _witty_ , he’s kind and he looks at Cas like he’s the reason the stars shine the way they do. He’s super sweet and he’s even he big brother of Cas’ best friend, Sam. When he does hug Cas, it’s gentle and protective and he’s like the big brother he never had. When they kiss (it’s only been a few times and only once in front of me) it’s unhurried and tender. Sweet. I don’t know, even my wife isn’t quite like him. Cas looks at him like he’s glowing, the light of a thousand suns radiating off of him. He’s not even homosexual, he’s _bi_ sexual. He’s taken some girls down but he’s stopped and settled down indefinitely with Cas. The kid’s in love, no doubt. It goes both ways. Goes without saying that Gabriel, obviously, loves the guy. They crack jokes at each other and everything. Even in his injured state. I mean, bruised ribs and a broken hand from protecting Cas this last time and look at him shine. You’d like him, really. He’s just...perfect for Cas. He can make him laugh when he’s literally crying in pain. Best guy. He even made Michael and I laugh—really laugh, and you know that’s rare. He’s a good friend and a good _boy_ friend to Cas. He balances each end of the friendship perfectly. That good enough for you? Ha ha probably not. ;) **

****

**_(2:25PM)_ **

** Oh, wow. Um, yeah, that’s plenty. Didn’t need to hear they kiss in front of you. But yeah, I can see why Cas likes him. Glad to hear he can make Michael laugh, the stoic little Viking. Don’t tell him I called him that. Haven’t done so since he was three or four. **

I lay back down, crossing my ankles while waiting for him to finish typing.

**_2:25PM –_ **

** I told him and he just laughed and said ‘right back at you, Dad’. **

**_(2:26PM)_ **

** I told you not to, you little rascal. Oh, I love you boys. Always quick to act, just like your mother. **

A moments’ pause and the speech bubble reappears.

**_2:26PM –_ **

** Hey, it’s Michael. I love you too. Even Cas and Gabriel still love you. ;) Nah, it’s all cool. Even Gabriel’s all cool and he’s still a bright, free spirit. He doesn’t have a phone, though. **

**_(2:26PM)_ **

** Perhaps you can do something about that little problem, Michael? Not an order, that’s your choice. Between you & Lucifer and Gabriel. Tell him I said hi (and sorry). **

Another minute ticks slowly by until it _ping_ s again and I yawn.

**_2:27PM –_ **

**Done.**

**_2:27PM –_ **

** Done and done. Lucifer again. He said same back at you. **

I smile fondly, thinking about their mother. _Wish she was here to see how much they’ve grown._

**_(2:27PM)_ **

** I forgot how nice it is just to chat. Wish I could see everyone. **

**_2:28PM –_ **

** Could arrange with your caretaker to move you up here with us. You could meet everyone. **

I roll my eyes, half-interested. _There are some I’m not quite interested in meeting._ ****

**_(2:28PM)_ **

** That would be nice, thank you. Please do. Talk later, caretaker (speak of the devil, so to speak) is knocking again. I love you all. **

**_2:28PM –_ **

** Right back at you. Talk later. **

I smile and set my phone down, slipping to sleep with a mind full of thoughts of my kids.


	5. New Phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. Short and sweet. Brotherly bonding. Michael & Lucifer being awkward adorkable little shits. Gabriel being humbled (in a Gabriel way). Cue Gabriel-texting-people entrance for other chapters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set from Michael's perspective (trying something new, never done that before). Nothing but fluff and adorableness. Not exactly necessary to continue but it does improve the relationship of & communications between these brothers and Gabriel & his father (hint hint coming up soon).

Gabriel looks up from the customer in front of him and his smile falters for a second before he returns his attention to his customers.

After a few minutes, the line is gone and he waves us over. “Back room, come on.”

I nod and Lucifer falls into step with me, hands shoved shyly in his pockets.

We slip behind the counter and he whirls around, taking a step back. “Why are you in my shop? You two’ll scare off my customers.”

Lucifer cringes and shoves his hands deeper in his pockets, muttering shyly, “Sorry, brother, but we have something for you.”

I close my hand on the phone and pull it out of my pocket, offering it tentatively. “First year of service is paid and no lease payments on it, it was payed in full. Figured with Cas going out more and you in contact with friends and...and family, you could use one.”

His eyebrows disappear into his hair and his expression softens as he takes it, frowning as a wash of confusion crosses his face. “Thanks?”

Lucifer smiles shyly, offering, “We already got Cas, Sam, Jo, Anna, us, Dad, and the law firm’s numbers programmed in.”

Gabriel smiles and the tension breaks. “Thanks. Doubt I’ll use law firm or Dad, but you never know.”

He slides it in his pocket, a faint blush touching his cheeks as his voice softens. “You didn’t have to.”

I shrug, chewing on the inside of my lip. “No, but we wanted to. It’s easier to stay in contact when we don’t have to go through someone else, like Cas.”

Gabriel’s hand brushes my shoulder. “You could just call if you want to talk to me, you know.”

I flinch, smile strained. “Didn’t have a number to call. And besides, like I said: Dad wants to talk to you. Would you rather text or talk to him?”

Gabriel scoffs. “Good point.”

The tension snaps like a rubber band stretched too thin and we all laugh.

Lucifer nudges him. “Go on, you’ve probably got some sweet-tooths out there who require some of your goods.”

He slips out and Lucifer and I smile at each other, relieved, before slipping out and dissolving into the crowds.


	6. One More Stress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brotherly fluff and bromance and all. Sam & Gabriel bromance, Sam makes him eat a 'proper' breakfast (he wanted ice cream, still ate some). Michael has a minor breakdown and Cas comforts him. Awkward & adorable scenes. Gabriel has a full-on panic attack and Michael & Lucifer comfort him. Dean is all worried. Gabe has a minor flashback to when they were much younger and this happened but the roles were reversed (Michael hugs him and Lucifer puts a hand on his shoulder here, it was opposite then). Gabe passes out. Sam is, in staying true to the original, kicking himself over Cas being hurt and Cas is like 'it's not his fault' and Lucifer's like 'not your fault' and Gabe's like 'seriously, not your fault' (Before panic attack and breakdown). Family fluff. Brotherly bonding. They discuss the texts from the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel's perspective. Fluff.
> 
> Gabriel's panic attack starts right about when Cas winces and says 'okay it hurts more now' and Lucifer goes to ask if Gabe's okay.
> 
> In the texting (which is all bolded and all around 2-3AM), Gabriel is aligned left and underlined with "(timeAM)", and Sam does text over his phone and it's still the same format, and the father's texts are center aligned and not underlined with the "timeAM -" above all texts.

My phone buzzes and I pick it up. It’s the only contact I had never thought to use: “Dad.” _...Dad?_

**_2:25AM –_ **

** Are you awake? **

I raise an eyebrow and decide to play it cool.

**_(2:25AM)_ **

** This is a new phone, who is this? **

**_2:26AM –_ **

**Gabriel, Michael gave me the number. Don’t try to play it off. You know who it is.**

I roll my eyes, squinting against the bright screen.

**_(2:26AM)_ **

** Obviously I’m awake. ...Dad. **

A couple minutes silence before he responds and the phone dings again. I shut off the sound, trying not to wake up a sleeping Sam in the next room over—he’s borrowing Cas’ room for the night.

**_2:28AM –_ **

**Wanted to tell you directly that...I’m sorry, son.**

My eyes widen and my mouth goes dry.

**_(2:28AM)_ **

** Come again? For what? **

The _typing_ bubble appears at the bottom of the screen.

**_2:29AM –_ **

**That night you left. We both said a lot of things. Things we didn’t (or at least _I didn’t_ ) mean. I know a lot of shit hit the fan and a lot of things came out of both our mouths that was hurtful. And I’m sorry. For all that. For what I said. You know what I’m talking about.**

I try to swallow past a dry throat, hands shaking. _No way. He’s not...oh my god, he’s actually apologizing??_

**_(2:31AM)_ **

**...Are you serious? **

**_2:31AM –_ **

**Yes.**

 

My dry mouth turns into a dessert and I choke. Sam peeks in my room, eyes full of concern. “Gabe?”

I look up, murmuring, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Sam shakes his head. “Couldn’t stop thinking about Cas. You alright?”

I shrug, frowning at my phone. “Not...not sure.”

Sam edges in, sinking down next to me. “Talk to me. What happened?”

I bite my lip. Why is this kid so easy to talk to? “Dad...um, Dad texted me. And he...”

I swallow, shaking my head. “He _apologized_ for...that night. When I left. He said a lot of things and so did I, and he actually apologized for it. I don’t...I’m not sure why, but I don’t believe him.”

Sam pulls my phone from my hands, scrolling through the texts. “Oh my god, seriously? New phone who is this. You pulled that one.”

I sit up, leaning against the wall behind the head of my bed. “Yeah, so? I didn’t want to talk to him.”

Sam tilts his head. “He seems earnest enough.”

Sam types to him and waits patiently for a response. I glance at what he said—maybe he knows something I don’t?

**_(2:32AM)_ **

** Hi, this is Sam Winchester. I’m Gabriel and Cas’ friend. I’ve heard a lot about you, good and bad. **

**_2:33AM –_ **

**I’ve heard a lot of good things from Cas about you. He likes you. I think Lucifer and Michael like you too. Hard to tell with those two. Nice to finally talk to you.**

Sam chuckles. “Apparently the entire family likes me.”

I shake my head. “Nope, you’re the most terribly annoying person ever. Everyone tells you their problems. Like, isn’t that a burden? To know everyone’s problems and try to help everyone through?”

“Nah, it’s cool. I’m easy to talk to, or so I’m told.” Sam shrugs. “Even over text.”

**_(2:34AM)_ **

** Right back at you. I think you stunned Gabe speechless. His hands are shaking too much to type and he kinda choked or something when I came in over something you said. Hope you don’t kill him. **

I blush furiously. “You didn’t have to say that.”

“So? That’s why I’m so easy to talk to, it’s part of the charm. I’m honest, even if the truth hurts.”

****

**_2:34AM –_ **

**So do I, is he alright? I didn’t know it was possible to render such a free-spirited and slack-jawed kid speechless, I’m honored.**

**_(2:35AM)_ **

** I didn’t either. I think he’s fine, he’s arguing about what I’m telling you. Totally embarrassed, he’s blushing. **

I swat at him, glaring. “Hey!”

Sam just laughs as Dad types back.

**_2:35AM –_ **

**All sorts of boundaries are being pushed. He’s actually embarrassed for once. You people have changed him for the better. How is Cas doing? Oh, and is Dean alright?**

Sam raises an eyebrow at me. “Hey, he’s asking about Cas and Dean now. Better?”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever.”

Sam punches my arm gently, typing furiously back.

**_(2:36AM)_ **

** My big brother Dean is fine. Just a broken hand and some bruised ribs that hurt like a bitch. **

** Cas, on the other hand....okay, now I’m shuddering. It’s bad. Very bad. They moved him to emergency 24-hour care. Internal bleeding (rib to the lung); broken, twisted, and swollen as hell ankle; black eye that’s swollen; bruises basically everywhere, so he’s basically just bleeding out but the skin isn’t split so there’s building pressure. It’s really bad. I can’t sleep, and I don’t think Gabe can either. **

**_2:38AM –_ **

**...**

Sam cracks into a grin. “Dot, dot, dot, he so famously says.”

I roll my eyes. “He’s probably fuming, knowing him. He just doesn’t want to explode on anyone right now.”

**_2:43AM –_ **

**Okay, now I’m dying. Do you know if he’ll be okay?**

I steal my phone back.

**_(2:43AM)_ **

** No. That’s what’s keeping us awake. We aren’t getting an update until the morning. It’s slowly killing us all. They won’t even tell Dean how he’s doing. Dean’s his boyfriend and all, he’s going insane with worry. We’re dying to hear more. They said about ten in the morning they’ll update us but...that’s so damn far away. **

There’s a pause and then he begins to type again.

**_2:44AM –_ **

**Okay, I know that’s you Gabriel and yes it is. What time is it there?**

**_(2:44AM)_ **

** About 3AM. Slowly dying. Can’t sleep but we’re tired. And I wasn’t trying to hide behind Sam over text, I’m sick with worry myself. We still have another seven hours and about fifteen minutes before they tell us anything. Dean started crying when they told us how bad it was and just completely broke down. I don’t know if he’s okay, either. I’m kinda worried. If Cas recovers and Dean’s died of worry, Cas’ll be furious. **

Everything slows down for a second as I realize I just suggested he might not recover.

**_2:45AM –_ **

**I had to read that twice. _If_ he recovers? Are you seriously suggesting he won’t?**

I shiver, and Sam wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Hey, breathe. Gabe, breathe.”

**_(2:45AM)_ **

** It’s a very real, terrifying possibility that he just won’t wake up. I can’t lose him, not now. Not when we were finally a family again. Not when he was _happy_ and had _friends_ and....ugh. I’m dying. This is so damn hard. If we get a call _before_ ten, it means he’s even worse off than they thought and he’s dying. I’m hoping they don’t call and hoping they update us on his condition at the same time. I can’t breathe. There’s, like, a pressure on my chest and I just...I’m shaking and I can’t even really keep my eyes open and...there’s too much shit going on for me to just sleep. Cas, and Dean, and Lucifer and Michael, and...oh my god I’m just so overwhelmed. **

Sam tightens his arm around me, reading along.

**_2:45AM –_ **

**...I would be in your place. Calm down and try to sleep, being sleep deprived won’t help you. I would know, after...well, your mother and her cancer. I had many sleepless nights. It makes it hard to think. Deep breaths in, deep breaths out. Calm down. You’ll crash and be back up before you know it. I know it’s hard, but it’s not helping Cas to go sleepless worrying over him. Try and get some sleep. I love you both.**

**_(2:46AM)_ **

** I will, but I doubt I can. Love you, too. **

Sam, by unspoken consent, goes to dial Lucifer.

He picks up instantly in the stress of the moment. “Hey, Gabe, what’s up?”

I cough, trying to wet my dry throat. “Dad. Now he’s worrying over Cas as much as we are. Anything on your end?”

He sighs. “No, unfortunately. No one’s sleeping. We’re all waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

I shiver. “So are we. I hope it doesn’t. Dad said to try and sleep, said that after several sleepless nights over Mom he found out it won’t help at all. I’ll try, but I doubt I’ll crash.”

“Okay. Same here. Talk in the morning?”

I nod quickly. “Yeah. If not before then. Hopefully not.”

“Agreed.”

His end of the line goes dead and I release a breath, leaning into Sam. “This is so hard.”

“You’re the older brother. I’m the younger brother waiting for his big brother to die of worry.”

“Good point,” I laugh stiffly.

We yawn and next thing we know, the phone is ringing, it’s eleven in the morning.

I jerk awake, scooping up the phone and putting it on speaker. “Hello?”

“Hello, is this Gabriel Novak and Sam Winchester?”

Sam sits up rubbing his eyes. “Yeah, what’s up?”

The speaker sighs. “Well, Dean is alright but he’s exhausted. Castiel is stabilized, for now. You can come in to see him, but he’s currently unconscious.”

Relief washes through me but my voice still cracks as I ask, “How is he?”

She swallows. “Well, we’ve repaired the damage but his lungs and his ribs are very sore. His ankle’s in a brace and the swelling’s gone down. The bleeding has stopped. He should be fine.”

“Oh, thank God,” I murmur. “We’re coming in soon.”

“Alright.” She hangs up and I sigh in relief, rubbing my eyes.

Sam laughs in relief, yawning. “Thank God he’s okay.”

I shake my head, stretching and rolling out of bed. Sam rolls to his feet as well.

I down some water and head in to shower. I choke on some toothpaste but survive, the steam from the shower clearing it from my lungs.I yawn and dress quickly, heading out to pass the bathroom off to Sam.

He takes five minutes and pops out running his fingers through his wet hair, passing a hand over his face.

I yawn and pull out ice cream, tugging a resistant spoon out of the drawer and settling down in front of it.

Sam makes a ‘proper’ breakfast: an apple with bacon, eggs, and some of the hashbrowns he dug out of the fridge.

He plops half out what he makes in front of me and sinks down, slowly waking up as the food enters his system.

I set my spoon down, raising an eyebrow. “Who said anything about this stuff?”

Sam chuckles. “It was from Cas, and I did. Sugar isn’t filling, even with a sweet tooth.”

“You’re a bad influence,” I grumble, stabbing moodily at the food with a fork.

Sam chuckles, stuffing his mouth full of food. After he swallows, he corrects, “Dean’s a bad influence. And who’s not a bad influence for someone else?”

I roll my eyes, trying to ignore that the food actually tastes good before dialing up Lucifer.

He picks up and yawns, “Wh-what’s up?”

“For one, it’s half past eleven. And two, they called us. Cas is stabilized, they said we can come see him.”

Michael clears his throat, voice muddled by sleep. “Wha’?”

I roll my eyes. “You heard me. They said he should be okay.”

The audible twin sighs of relief echoes my own. “Oh, thank God.”

Lucifer demands, “Did they record the move and the reason?”

I roll my eyes. _Lawyer mode._ “Yeah. It’s all there.”

He sighs, writing something with a flourish. “Okay. His lungs?”

“Sore like his ribs but the damage was taken care of.”

He writes that down, I assume from the scratching of a pen. “Good. Has Raphael come in?”

I grin. “No. He’s still fine, I assume.”

Lucifer chuckles. “Good. Okay, we’re up. We’ll be on our way soon.”

He hangs up and I pocket my phone with a sigh.

Sam grins at me. I frown. “What?”

He chuckles. “Nothing. Just you look really silly like that, with your hair all wet and curly. It’s sticking up at odd angles and it’s adorable.”

I roll my eyes, swallowing the last bite of food and going back to my ice cream.

After about half an hour’s companionable silence, we drag ourselves to our feet, shoving our feet into shoes and heading out to my truck.

I slide into the driver’s seat. Sam nearly hits his head as he joins me on the passenger side, throwing me a smile. “I think your dad’s serious about missing you guys. You’re the best.”

I roll my eyes, ignoring the heat flooding my cheeks and swatting at him. “Oh, shut up.”

Sam laughs. “Make me.”

I sigh, flipping the keys. The engine sputters and roars to life. “You never know when to shut up, do you?”

He chuckles as I pull away from the curb. “I know when I _have_ to be quiet. I know the difference between _I want you to shut up_ and _you need to shut up_. You might want me to shut up, but you don’t _need_ it. Big difference.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re such a little nerd.”

Sam smirks. “ _Little_ nerd? Being a nerd makes me funny, but I don’t think I’m that little.”

I sigh, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, gritting my teeth. “Mister Know It All.”

Sam wriggles his eyebrows. “Why thanks for noticing, yes I am.”

I chuckle, shaking my head helplessly. “Oh my god. Why are we even friends?”

“Oh, don’t kid yourself. You love me.”

I rub my eyes, parking neatly. “No, I don’t. You’re the most annoying little shit to grace Earth.”

Sam nudges me. “I’m _gracefully_ gracing the earth. With nerdiness and laughter.”

I laugh, slipping out of the truck. Sam follows me down, shutting his door and wandering over. “You know you love me. Come on, you know you do.”

“Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean I love you,” I counter lightly, slamming the door. “I _adore_ you—in a friend-like way—but I wouldn’t do the same shit for you that I would for Cas.”

“Yeah, but Cas is your _baby brother_. I’m your best friend.”

I pocket my keys, raising an eyebrow. “Who said anything about _best_ friends?”

We wander towards the door, slowly growing quieter as our minds wake up and turn to Cas.

Lucifer’s black Camaro pulls in next to my truck and Michael and Lucifer climb out. Jo leaps out of Ellen’s car before she’s even come to a stop, bounding towards us.

We get quieter and quieter. The doctor waiting on us pushes the door open graciously. “This way.”

We drift in, a haze of worry rendering us speechless.

The families in the waiting room greet us with tired and sad eyes. A few people mouth, “ _I’m sorry_ ,” as we pass.

We drift after him in a haze, letting him lead us to Cas.

He unlocks the door and nods in, clearing his throat. “He’s currently unconscious.”

We shrug, drifting in. He shuts the door behind us.

I move towards him, taking in the purple-and-blue color of his skin and the brace on his leg, the pained-but-peaceful expression on his face. _This is wrong. So wrong. Just because he’s homosexual doesn’t give anyone the right to put that look on his face, to put him in this much pain._

Michael and Lucifer hang back, letting Sam and Jo slip forward first.

Sam brushes Cas’ hair out of his eyes and I’m struck with shock by the look of pain on his face.

Jo puts her hand gently on Sam’s shoulder. “Sam, it’s not your fault. You know it’s not.”

“Feels like it is,” he mutters. “If he wasn’t my friend, maybe then—”

My head snaps up. “Sam, no.” I shake my head quickly. “It’s not your fault. Cas would never have completely slipped under his radar and you know it. Just being homosexual makes that impossible.”

Sam smiles weakly at me, tears blurring his eyes. “Maybe another few months? It’s because of me that Raphael knows. It’s my fault he found out. It’s because of me he met Dean.”

I shake my head, giving him the look I always gave Cas when I knew he didn’t really believe it. “No. Not even that. He’d already met Dean before he met you. It was meant to be.”

Sam blushes scarlet as he protests weakly, “He’s your little brother!”

Lucifer moves forward slightly. “Sam, it’s not your fault. Things like this happen. Hell, I’ve seen it. I’m a lawyer. I’ve seen things like this and it’s painful and it’s scary but it happens. It’s not _your_ fault.”

Sam’s blush deepens and Jo squeezes his shoulder. “They’re right, Sam. Come on, let’s go see Dean.”

Sam lets Jo drag him out of the room.

In the silence left in his wake, Cas stirs feebly.

Lucifer moves forward, taking Sam’s place at Cas’ side. Michael drifts after him like a puppy on a leash.

I move forward on Cas’ other side, swallowing. _He’s gotta be in a lot of pain. They’re gonna pay for what they did to my little brother. But I don’t blame Sam, it’s got nothing to do with him. This sort of thing happened long before Sam. It’s always happened. Maybe not as bad, but if he’d known a Raphael then it would’ve been no different._

Pain fills Michael’s eyes and he almost turns away before Cas stirs and groans.

Michael’s eyes snap back to him and we freeze. He coughs, licking his lips. “Where’d Sam go?”

“To see Dean,” I answer quietly. “He was beating himself up over it.”

Michael glances up at me. Lucifer winces, biting his lip. “I told him not to.”

“I heard you. And you’re right.” Weak as his voice is, Cas sounds confident. “I’m half in and half out of consciousness. It’s strange. I can hear you, but I can’t open my eyes.”

I touch his freezing cold arm, brushing my thumb over his arm gently. “How do you feel?”

“Cold,” Cas shivers, his eyes cracking open slowly. He blinks, lifting his free arm to rub at his eyes.

Michael swallows, wincing. Even that small gesture pains him; Cas winces as he sets his arm back down. “Ugh. This is worse than it was yesterday. What do I look like?”

“Black and blue,” I mutter, averting my gaze.

He laughs shakily, touching my arm with his frozen hand. “I don’t really feel much. I’m just really cold.”

I blink rapidly to cover the tears sheening my eyes. “I’d expect so, you’re really bruised to shit.”

Cas laughs, just a little stronger. “Bruised to shit? Never heard you say that before.”

“It hasn’t really applied before.”

Michael drops his gaze and Cas notices, his head turning. “Michael.”

Michael clears his throat and swallows. “Cas.”

Cas scoots up slowly to a sitting position. Judging from his pained expression, that one move takes a lot of dedication. The pain is clear but he pushes up anyway, grabbing Michael’s hand and pulling him into a tight hug.

Michael, caught off guard, stumbles slightly and relaxes into the hug, wrapping his arms around Cas and sinking down on the edge of the bed next to him.

Cas leans his head on Michael’s shoulder, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “I missed you. I thought you might leave while I was out.”

Michael shakes his head, shivering. “Hell, no. I’d die.”

 _I’d rather kill myself,_ I finish for him, running a hand over my fluffy, now-dry hair.

“You’d rather die,” I murmur aloud, locking gazes with him. “Rather kill yourself or Raphael and the kids who did this than leave him alone.”

Michael swallows and nods. “Yeah, how did you...?”

I shiver, lacing my fingers together as Cas’ eyes bore into me. “Because that’s how I feel. Older brother thing, as far as I know. Dean seems to feel the same about Sam and Cas.”

Cas’ mouth opens in surprise. Lucifer taps his pinkie on his leg, his tell-tale sign. “I don’t...”

Cas shakes his head. “Don’t try. You’re tapping your pinkie again, it’s your tell. It’s cool, it’s okay.”

Lucifer blushes scarlet and clenches his fists. “It’s not...not _logical_ , but it’s there anyway.”

I cross my arms, finishing, “Emotional, not rational. It doesn’t make sense long-term, but it feels good in the moment. To be _doing something_ , not just sitting and waiting for someone else to make the call.”

Lucifer nods. “Exactly.”

Michael nods stiffly, his usual business-like manner replaced with raw emotion. “Yeah.”

Cas giggles. “You’re more alike than I thought. You’re more obviously related now than you ever were.”

Lucifer and I exchange a glance, fidgeting. _He’s making light of the situation._

Michael tightens his grip on Cas, tears slipping down his face.

After a moment of silence, he whispers hoarsely, “I left you _alone_. I _let you_ leave. I let you go without the faintest idea what would happen to you. And now...you’re just all forgiving and calm over it, you’re more worried about if we look similar anymore than the fact that Lucy and I just let you walk out that damn door.”

Cas shrugs, running a hand over Michael’s hair. “Hey, it’s okay. I mean, at first I was confused and angry but it doesn’t matter now because you still came ‘round. And that’s what matters. You’re here now, you _care_ now. Both of you. I don’t care what happened, the past is in the past and it should stay there. All I care is you’re here now and maybe even Dad’ll come ‘round and start giving a shit again.”

Sam peeks in the doorway, tears staining his face, and we exchange a glance over the texts from last night.

I run a hand over my hair nervously, swallowing. Cas’ eyes track the movement, and he tilts his head curiously. “What? You’re not normally nervous and fidgety.”

“You’re not normally _like_ this,” I counter softly, running my fingers through my hair.

Cas shakes his head. “That’s not it. You know something.”

I sigh, pulling out my phone and holding it up vaguely. “He texted me. At, like, two thirty-ish. We talked till about three—in the morning, yes—and then I called Lucy.”

Lucifer looks up. “So that’s why you called. I knew something was off in your voice.”

I shake my head. “It’s not _that_ he contacted me, it’s what he said. He...he apologized. For everything. He talked to Sam for a bit and then Dad brought up Dean and Cas.”

I pocket my phone, running my fingers through my hair again. “Sam told him Dean was fine and we were waiting for an update on Cas.”

Sam slips in. “It was funny in a stressful way. His answer was ‘dot dot dot’ and nothing more.”

Cas looks up at Sam and Sam blushes scarlet. “Then?”

“I stole my phone back,” I reply lightly, nudging Sam, “from him. And I answered. He said he was dying and asked if you’d be okay. I said we didn’t know. Dean came up cause I said they wouldn’t even tell your boyfriend—had to say Dean, he didn’t really know yet—and I said we couldn’t sleep. He, um...”

I glance at Sam, cold sweat coating my palms. “He said he spent many sleepless nights over Mom’s cancer and to try to sleep because it wouldn’t help you.”

Cas sucks in a breath, eyes widening. “He mentioned Mom?”

Sam flinches. “Yeah, he did. After that we said goodnight and called Lucifer.”

Cas shakes his head. “Why would he apologize now? After a decade?”

“I don’t really know. I was hoping he would explain why now.” I shrug shyly. “But he did.”

Michael cringes. “He’s been asking to talk to you for awhile now. Since Cas left.”

Cas runs a hand over Michael’s hair comfortingly and Michael swallows, dropping his gaze.

Lucifer shrugs. “Michael’s right, he has. Just kinda weird and then he started saying he had to include Cas and you in his will. I don’t know. He’s been different, a bit out of it, ever since his stroke.”

Michael just nods slightly, leaning into Cas’ embrace.

Lucifer puts a hand gently on Cas’ shoulder. “Two things. I don’t think it’s good on your injuries to be up, though I won’t stop you. And if you’re cool with it, I think a picture could help the case. You know, visual proof of how bad it was so it can’t be denied.”

Cas rolls his eyes. “Probably isn’t good but I don’t care. You guys matter more than some stupid asshole who beat me up. But yeah, whatever.” Michael releases Cas and stands and Sam winces as he sees the full damage.

Lucifer pulls out his phone as Cas falls back on his pillow with a groan.

Sam swallows. Cas rubs at his eye.

Lucifer bites his lip, asking, “Would you close your eyes like you’re unconscious?”

Cas’ eyes drop closed and his face twists into that pained peace again.

Lucifer raises his phone and snaps several photos before pocketing it. “Okay.”

Cas opens his eyes, rubbing his eyes. “Okay, now it hurts worse. Ugh.”

Lucifer glances at me. “Gabriel, are you okay?”

I shake my head unsteadily, closing my eyes. “No.”

Sam touches my arm. “Jeeze, you’re overheating.”

I shake my head slowly. “That doesn’t really matter. I don’t really notice it.”

Lucifer’s hand on my forehead and I flash back to when we were little and I’d had a fever. The flashback only lasts a couple seconds, but it’s long enough to throw me further off balance.

Lucifer frowns. “Michael?”

Michael slips forward, hand on my forehead and other hand over my heart. “Gabe, calm down. That’s not helping.”

My pounding heart skips a beat and slows slightly then beats faster than before.

I shake my head uneasily, letting myself fall against him. “I’m trying.”

“ _There is no try,_ ” Sam counters lightly. “Do, or do not, for there is no try. Yoda, episode five.”

“You little nerd, oh my god,” I murmur, squeezing my eyes shut. “What isn’t a quote, coming from you?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Sam giggles. “I had a good childhood.”

“Gabriel? Woah, why the hell is everyone surrounding you? Guys, give him room to breathe.”

Dean slips in, elbowing Sam back. Lucifer takes a step back.

Dean frowns. “Gabriel, hey.”

Dean snaps his fingers and I flinch. “Okay. Gabe, what the hell’s wrong?”

Michael elbows Dean. “He’s _my_ little brother, Dean.”

“And he’s _my_ friend,” Dean counters angrily. “Let me help.”

I fall against Michael. “I’m not sure, Dean.”

Michael wraps his arms around me, throwing Dean a look. Dean sticks his tongue out.

Michael tightens his grip as Dean touches my shoulder. “Hey, we’re in a building full of doctors.”

I shake my head quickly. “No, hell no. That’ll make it worse.”

“How do you know that if—”

Michael hisses. “Dean, he said no.”

I wrap my arms around Michael, trying for deep breaths. It hits me, the only thing that fits. _Panic attack. Shit. Last time this happened, Lucifer had to hold me for hours. I was younger, but no doubt it’s similar._

I shiver, tightening my embrace around Michael and muttering, “Panic attack.”

Michael glances at Lucifer, voicing it louder. “Panic attack, Lucy.”

Lucifer’s gentle hand on my shoulder. “Gabe. Remember, deep breaths in, deep breaths out. In nose, out mouth. Relax.”

I tighten my grip on Michael. No doubt in my mind my grip is painfully tight, but he doesn’t complain.

I remember the same feeling from when I was little, except it had been reversed—Michael’s hand on my shoulder, Lucifer’s arms tight around me. The memory slows my heart slightly and I squeeze my eyes shut, focusing on the two sensations that are the same.

I feel myself relaxing as if from far away as everything goes white, then black.


	7. Panic Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the panic attack and a little after it from Michael's perspective Michael's all protective and it's cute. The point where it stops is when it's going to be Dean's perspective from there, so the end of the chapter isn't the end of the scene. (Dean is recovered now and is pissed about all that's going on.)
> 
> Brotherly Michael fluff. Michael's all uncertain but loving over Gabriel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michael's perspective.
> 
> Details a panic attack from Michael's perspective, who Gabriel falls against. Michael's really concerned despite being all broken up himself. Fluffiness.

Cas scoots up slowly to a sitting position. Judging from his pained expression, that one move takes a lot of commitment. The pain is obvious, but he pushes up anyway, grabbing my hand and pulling me into a tight hug.

Caught off guard, I stumble slightly and relax into the hug, wrapping my arms around Cas and sinking down on the edge of the bed next to him.

Cas leans his head on my shoulder, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “I missed you. I thought you might leave while I was out.”

I shake my head, shivering. I couldn’t. “Hell, no. I’d die.”

“You’d rather die,” Gabriel murmurs quietly, catching my eye. “Rather kill yourself...or Raphael and the kids who did this...than leave him alone.”

I swallow and nod. “Yeah, how did you...?”

Gabriel shivers, lacing his fingers together as Cas’ eyes turn into him. “Because that’s how I feel. Older brother thing, as far as I can tell. Dean seems to feel the same about Sam and Cas.”

Cas’ mouth opens in surprise. Lucifer taps his pinkie on his leg, his nervous sign. “I don’t...”

Cas shakes his head. “Don’t try. You’re tapping your pinkie again, it’s your tell. It’s cool...it’s okay.”

Lucifer blushes scarlet and clenches his fists. “It’s not...not logical, but it’s there anyway.”

Gabriel crosses his arms, finishing gracefully, “Emotional, not rational. It doesn’t make sense long-term, but it feels good in the moment. To be doing something, not just sitting and waiting for someone else to make the call.”

Lucifer nods slowly. “Exactly.”

I nod awkwardly, my usual business-like manner replaced with raw, uncontained emotion. I’m not used to this, what am I supposed to do? “Yeah.”

Cas giggles. “You’re more alike than I thought. You’re more obviously related now than you ever were.”

Lucifer and Gabriel exchange an awkward glance, fidgeting.

I tighten my grip on Cas, tears slipping down my face unchecked. What does it matter?

After a moment of surprised silence, I whisper hoarsely, “I left you alone. I let you leave. I let you go without the faintest idea what would happen to you. And now...you’re just all forgiving and calm over it, you’re more worried about if we look similar anymore than the fact that Lucy and I just let you walk out that damn door.”

Cas shrugs, running a hand over my hair. “Hey, it’s okay. I mean, at first I was confused and angry but it doesn’t matter now because you still came ‘round. And that’s what matters. You’re here now, you care now. Both of you. I don’t care what happened, the past is in the past and it should stay there. All I care is you’re here now and maybe even Dad’ll come ‘round and start giving a shit again.”

Sam peeks in the doorway, tears staining his face, and they exchange a glance.

Gabriel runs a hand over his hair nervously, swallowing. Cas’ eyes track the movement, and he tilts his head curiously. “What? You’re not normally nervous and fidgety.”

“You’re not normally like this,” Gabriel counters softly, running fingers through his hair.

Cas shakes his head. “That’s not it. You know something.”

He sighs, pulling out his phone and holding it up loosely. “He texted me. At, like, two thirty-ish. We talked till about three—in the morning, yes—and then I called Lucy.”

Lucifer looks up. “So that’s why you called. I knew something was off in your voice.”

Gabriel shakes his head, chewing on his lip. “It’s not that he contacted me, it’s what he said. He...he apologized. For everything. He talked to Sam for a bit and then Dad brought up Dean and Cas.”

He pockets his phone, running his fingers through his hair again. “Sam told him Dean was fine and we were waiting for an update on Cas.”

Sam slips in the room. “It was funny in a stressful way. His answer was ‘dot dot dot’ and nothing more.”

Cas looks up at Sam and Sam blushes crimson. “Then?”

“I stole my phone back,” He replies lightly, nudging Sam, “From him. And I answered. He said he was dying and asked if you’d be okay. I said we didn’t know. Dean came up cause I said they wouldn’t even tell your boyfriend—had to say Dean, he didn’t really know yet—and I said we couldn’t sleep. He, um...”

Gabriel glances at Sam as if for support. “He said he spent many sleepless nights over Mom’s cancer and to try to sleep because it wouldn’t help you.”

Cas sucks in a breath, eyes widening. “He mentioned Mom?”

Sam flinches. “Yeah, he did. After that we said goodnight and called Lucifer.”

Cas shakes his head. “Why would he apologize now? After a decade?”

“I don’t really know. I was hoping he would explain why now.” Gabriel shrugs shyly. “But he did.”

I squirm. “He’s been asking to talk to you for a while now. Since Cas left.”

Cas runs a hand over my hair comfortingly and I swallow, dropping my gaze. I should be comforting him, not the other way around.

Lucifer shrugs. “Michael’s right, he has. Just kinda weird and then he started saying he had to include Cas and you in his will. I don’t know. He’s been different, a bit out of it, ever since his stroke.”

I just nod slightly and lean into Cas’ embrace.

Lucifer puts a hand gently on Cas’ shoulder. “Two things. I don’t think it’s good on your injuries to be up, though I won’t stop you. And if you’re cool with it, I think a picture could help the case. You know, visual proof of how bad it was so it can’t be denied.”

Cas rolls his eyes. “Probably isn’t good but I don’t care. You guys matter more than some stupid asshole who beat me up. But yeah, whatever.” Michael releases Cas and stands and Sam winces as he sees the full damage.

Lucifer pulls out his phone as Cas falls back on his pillow with a groan.

Sam swallows. Cas rubs at his eye.

Lucifer bites his lip, asking, “Would you close your eyes like you’re unconscious?”

Cas’ eyes drop closed and his face twists into that strange, pained peace again.

Lucifer raises his phone and snaps several photos before pocketing it. “Okay.”

Cas opens his eyes, rubbing his eyes. “Okay, now it hurts worse. Ugh.”

Lucifer glances at Gabriel. “Gabriel, are you okay?”

He shakes my head jerkily, closing his eyes. “No.”

Gabriel’s pale skin and unfocused eyes worry me but I don’t want to move, remembering how he treated me when I first showed back up.

Sam touches Gabriel’s arm. “Jeeze, you’re overheating.”

He shakes his head slowly. “That doesn’t really matter. I don’t really... _notice_ it.”

Lucifer’s hand on his forehead and he winces, swallowing.

Lucifer frowns, calling over his shoulder, “Michael?”

_That’s an okay excuse, Lucifer’s calling. I want to know if he’s okay, he’s still my baby brother._

I slip forward, hand on his forehead and other hand over his heart. His fever and pounding heart are worrisome. “Gabe, calm down. That’s not helping.”

His pounding heart skips a beat and slows slightly then beats even faster than before.

Gabriel shakes his head unsteadily, falling against me. “I’m trying.”

“ _There is no try,_ ” Sam counters lightly. “Do, or do not, for there is no try. Yoda, episode five.”

“You little nerd, oh my god,” Gabriel murmurs, squeezing his eyes shut. “What _isn’t_ a quote, coming from you?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Sam giggles. “’Cause I had a good childhood.”

“Gabriel? Woah, why the hell is everyone surrounding you? Guys, give him room to breathe.”

Dean slips in, elbowing Sam back. Lucifer slips back, not wanting to interfere.

Dean frowns, taking in Gabriel’s pale complexion and closed eyes. “Gabriel, hey.”

Dean snaps his fingers and Gabriel flinches. “Okay. Gabe, what the hell’s wrong?”

I elbow Dean, glaring. Don’t talk to him like that. “He’s _my_ little brother, Dean.”

“And he’s _my_ friend,” Dean counters angrily. “Let me help!”

Gabriel falls against me, shaking all over. “I’m not sure, Dean.”

I wrap my arms around him, throwing Dean a disgruntled look. Dean sticks his tongue out in return.

I tighten my grip as Dean touches his shoulder. “Hey, we’re in a building full of doctors.”

Gabriel shakes his head swiftly. “No, hell no. That’ll make it worse.”

Dean frowns. “How do you know that if—”

My gaze snaps to him and I hiss protectively, “Dean, he said no.”

Gabriel wraps his arms around me, fighting to slow his breathing.

He shivers, tightening his embrace and murmuring, “Panic attack.”

I shift my gaze to Lucifer, echoing his words in a louder voice. “Panic attack, Lucy.”

Lucifer places a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder, squeezing. “Gabe...remember: deep breaths in, deep breaths out. In nose, out mouth. Relax.”

Gabriel’s grip tightens on me. I wince at the twinge of pain, choosing to ignore it for his sake.

I remember when this happened once before—Gabriel had a panic attack. Lucifer and I were reversed, but same thing. This is almost exactly the same thing that happened.

Gabriel falls limp in my arms, his breathing unnaturally shaky.

I look up to Lucifer. “He’s out cold.”

Lucifer swallows. “It wasn’t this bad last time.”

I glance at Cas’ worried expression. “Well, Cas wasn’t hurt so bad. He wasn’t hurt at all then.”

Lucifer shrugs. “I suppose so.”

Cas clears his throat. “Last time? There was a last time?”

I close my eyes, lifting Gabriel carefully into my arms.

Lucifer licks his lips. “Yeah. When we were much younger, before you were born, he saw someone bleeding and badly hurt and he just started shaking like a leaf. Didn’t pass out, we managed to calm him down. But something’s different this time—it’s someone he _knows_ and _cares about_ who’s badly hurt.”

Cas frowns. “Let me know when he wakes up, won’t you?”

“Of course we will.” Lucifer brushes a gentle hand over his forehead, moving hair out of his eyes.

I slip out, waving over a doctor. _He said it would make it worse but now he’s out cold._

He frowns, touching Gabriel’s forehead. “What happened?”

“He had a panic attack and passed out,” I answer softly, tightening my grip on him.

The doctor gestures to a room right across the hall from Cas. “In here.”

We slip in and Lucifer follows, wiping tears of sweat off his forehead and cheeks.

I set him down gently on the bed and the doctor plugs a couple IV tubes in and a heart and breathing monitor. “He should be fine.” **  
**


	8. Coma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's short but Dean basically tells Gabe if he doesn't wake up then everyone'll die of worry and his Dad'll come and find him like that and it's kinda cute cause Dean says he needs him there to be funny and all and it's adorable. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's perspective
> 
> Gabriel is currently declared in a coma and doesn't do much in this piece except lay there and fidget while Dean tells him he's gotta get up and be okay.

I sigh, stretching. After one more round fussing over me, the doctors _finally_ let me leave the room.

I peek in on Cas. He’s asleep but he looks strangely worried.

I jump as Sam’s hand touches my shoulder. “Nice to see you up and about again.”

“Nice to not have doctors fussing over every little thing I do.” I rub my eyes. “Why does Cas look all worried?”

Sam’s face falls. “Um, Gabriel had a panic attack and passed out?”

“I didn’t see him pass out,” I murmur, frowning. “The doctors dragged me off again.”

“Well he did, and he’s in there.” Sam jerks his thumb over his shoulder at the room across the hall from Cas. “He’s currently in a coma, or so the doctors said. I don’t know. Seems awake enough to me.”

I shake my head, rubbing an eye. “Damn.”

“Yeah. Worst thing is they told his dad.”

My eyes widen. “Not the asshole who kicked him out ten years ago?”

“Yup.” Sam pops the ‘p’, gritting his teeth. “And guess what? Sounds like they’re transferring him up here. So he’ll be in the same damn hallway as both Cas _and_ Gabe.”

“Shit.” I shake my head. “Why’d they have to contact his dumb ass?”

“I don’t know. Lucifer insisted on it, said he would be worried if he did or didn’t know either way.”

“And what’d you say?”

Sam shakes his head. “I said his dad, over text, did apologize, but that’s not good enough to just show up and expect to be a part of their lives. I don’t think they understood me.”

“We did,” Lucifer says from behind Sam, making him jump. “But Dad was already calling me for an update on Cas so I didn’t really have much of a choice but to tell him they were both down and out cold.”

I shake my head. “Did you tell him Gabe’s in a coma or just out cold?”

“Currently declared in a coma but I don’t really believe it, is what I told him. He’s tougher than this, he’ll be fine. He’s okay. You’ll see.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You’re more trying to convince yourself than anything. You’re worried.”

“Well, yeah. _Both_ of my baby brothers are out cold, Dean!” Lucifer shakes his head. “Wouldn’t you be insisting he’s fine if Sam was out and declared in a damn _coma_?”

I shrug. “S’pose so. Where is he now? Eli, I mean.”

“How do you know his name?”

I smirk. “Gabe was super drunk at the bar where I work. He started blabbing about the one person who gives a shit who’s having sex with who—called him Eli holier-than-thou Novak. I asked if that was their dad and he said yup.”

I shrug, smile slipping. “So where is he now?”

Lucifer sighs. “Probably on his way, since he’s being transferred over here currently. I don’t know.”

“Gabriel and Cas aren’t gonna be happy to see him, you know,” I inform him stiffly.

He shrugs. “That’s for them to...react to when the time comes and he drops in for a visit. I have no control over that and neither does he.”

I bare my teeth. “He’s the one who drove them away! Are you really that blind?”

Lucifer flinches. “I’m not _blind_ , Dean. I _know_ that’s what happened. But they can choose to try again, if they so desire, or to push him away again. That’s all I’m saying.”

I shake my head. “That’d be one hell of a reunion.”

I shove past him into Gabriel’s room, checking the monitors. He’s steadied out and he looks semi-calm.

I touch his arm and the heart monitor jumps and steadies back out.

I shake my head, moving closer.

“I don’t know if you can hear me,” I murmur quietly, “But Lucifer told your dad about this and he’s coming to see you both. Cas and you. I’m not sure how to react to it. I’m kinda furious he thinks he can just walk back into your life after the shit he pulled with both of you. But he’s still your dad. Hell, my dad was an abusive alcoholic douche and I still love him anyway. I don’t know.”

Gabriel stirs slightly, his eyelids flickering.

I sigh. “You better recover soon, man. Cas is depending on you. We’re all depending on you. You’re the light we need, the laughter in the darkest of times. You better come out of this damn coma.”

Gabriel stirs, grimacing and muttering, “He’s still my dad but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared of what he’ll do.”

“I would be too,” I answer quietly, plucking at the hem of my shirt. _Damn. I’m not good at this sappy shit._

“I’m not really good at all this lovey-dovey, sappy shit...but we’re all worried and if you don’t recover, I swear Cas or I’ll kill you for abandoning us like this. Come on, man. We need you, Cas needs you. _I need you._ You don’t recover, I’ll kick your ass.

I take a quick breath and continue, “Cas is sleeping and he’s still got this worried look on his face because he’s worried about you. Lucifer’s so worried he’s doing that thing where you insist they’ll recover and they’re fine with this look on your face like it’s slowly killing you. Michael’s dying out in the waiting room. Sam’s all worried over you. He even argued over calling your dad. We need you, man, come on.”

Gabriel stirs again, rubbing his eyes. The heart monitor picks up speed back to a normal rate.

 _Got him._ He groans quietly, shaking his head without opening his eyes.

I lift my hand from his arm and he twitches, rubbing his nose absently.

A smile flits across my face. “You’ve got about an hour, tops, before your dad’s here. Make use of it and get your ass out of bed. I don’t think you’ll wanna be laying down—vulnerable, much? They did leave your clothes on, thank god, but you’ve got monitors and IVs to pull off before your can move away from the bed.”

I drift from the room, hoping he’ll manage to be on his feet by the time his feared father shows up.


	9. Dean and Eli

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel wakes up from a coma (or so declared by the doctors) to find his dad there. Dean pretty much yells at him and says he can't just apologize over text cause that's really shitty and not okay. Michael, Lucifer, and Gabriel (all in the room) back him up and he goes to apologize to each. Gabriel hugs him (Gabe's perspective so it's kinda cute), Michael hugs him, and Lucifer hugs him. Then Dean goes to talk to Cas (lets him know Eli's there and asks if he'll talk to him and he says so long as Dean's in the room he'll talk to him) and returns to tell Eli that Cas'll talk so long as he's in the room. Ends with Gabriel entering the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel's perspective.
> 
> Very much fluff, all the fluff. Eli breaks down and everyone comforts him (except Dean, of course).
> 
> Eli does meet Jo and Sam. Sam makes a pretty good first impression and he eyes Jo critically but when she's unphased, he's impressed by that.
> 
> FLUFFINESS. XD

Someone touches my arm and the heart monitor jumps and steadies back out. They move closer.

“I don’t know if you can hear me,” Dean murmurs quietly, “But Lucifer told your dad about this and he’s coming to see you both. Cas and you. I’m not sure how to react to it. I’m kinda furious he thinks he can just walk back into your life after the shit he pulled with both of you. But he’s still your dad. Hell, my dad was an abusive alcoholic douche and I still love him anyway. I don’t know.”

My eyelids flicker slightly.

Dean sighs. “You better recover soon, man. Cas is depending on you. We’re _all_ depending on you. You’re the light we need, the laughter in the darkest of times. You better come out of this damn coma.”

I stir, grimacing and murmuring in return, “He’s still my dad but that doesn’t mean I’m not _scared_ of what he’ll do.”

“I would be, too,” Dean responds softly, plucking at the hem of his shirt.

“I’m not really good at all this lovey-dovey, sappy shit...but we’re all worried and if you don’t recover, I swear Cas or I’ll kill you for abandoning us like this. Come on, man. _We_ need you, _Cas_ needs you. _I need you._ You don’t recover, I’ll kick your ass.”

He takes a quick breath and continues, “Cas is sleeping and he’s still got this look on his face because he’s worried about you. Lucifer’s so worried he’s doing that thing where you insist they’ll recover and they’re fine with this look on your face like it’s slowly killing you. Michael’s dying out in the waiting room. Sam’s all worried over you. He even argued over calling your dad. We need you, man, come on.”

I stir again, rubbing my eyes. The heart monitor picks up speed back to a normal rate as my heart kickstarts.

I groan quietly, shaking my head without opening my eyes.

Dean lifts his hand from my arm as I flinch, rubbing my nose subconsciously.

A smile in his voice as he says, “You’ve got about an hour, tops, before your dad’s here. Make use of it and get your ass out of bed. I don’t think you’ll wanna be laying down—vulnerable, much? They did leave your clothes on, thank god, but you’ve got monitors and IVs to pull off before your can move away from the bed.”

Dean leaves the room quietly.

Just minutes later, a different hand touches my arm—warmer and softer and less experienced in comfort than Dean’s calloused and naturally comforting touch.

I know without knowing that it’s either Michael, Lucifer, or Dad.

“Gabriel?”

The tentative voice sounds unnatural in his mouth, but it’s there. _Dad._

The heart monitor beeps quicker for a moment and settles back down.

I wince, wiping a hand over my eyes and attempting to pry them open from under my hand.

Several tries later, my eyes pop open and I rub them tiredly, blinking to clear the blurry film off my eyes.

Dad swims into view and the concern wrinkling his face is foreign and doesn’t belong—but there it is.

I watch his mouth form my name again and it comes out more hopeful than before. “Gabriel?”

The film clears at last and my mouth opens on its own, somehow beyond my control as my voice croaks, “Dad?”

His eyes light up and a smile cracks his face. Some of my fear falls away as that look in his eyes almost makes him seem to glow with relief. “Hey, sleepyhead. You okay?”

I shake my head. “Not sure.”

I cough, my dry throat painful. Everything seems to slow down and then come back to real time.

I slowly sit up, rubbing my eyes. _How the hell did I get here, I don’t remember—oh. Michael and Lucifer._

Dad lifts his hand off my arm, smiling shyly. “Doctor said you suddenly pulled out of a coma.”

I shrug, avoiding his eyes. “Not so suddenly. Dean talked to me. I don’t know if I heard everything, but I heard enough. He said everyone was worried and all.”

“Well, yeah, you passed out and dropped into a coma. Of course we were worried.”

I tug out the IV tubes and pull the monitors off, shutting off the monitors and rubbing the spot the tubes had poked.

Jo peeks in and calls over her shoulder, “Sam! He’s up.”

I shake myself slightly, pushing hair out of my eyes and taking in my surroundings.

Sam comes bursting in, eyes wide. “Gabe! Oh my god, you’re okay.”

Sam throws his arms around me, completely ignoring Dad—which makes me feel a wash of relief and makes him look startled.

I chuckle quietly, wrapping my arms around Sam. “Hey, Sammy.”

I can almost see the gears turning behind Dad’s eyes until his mouth opens slightly and he mouths, “Sam Winchester?”

I nod just slightly in his direction. His mouth opens further and his eyebrows raise but he seems to know better than to say anything.

Jo disappears and then reappears with Lucifer, Michael, and Dean in tow.

Jo smiles charmingly at Dad, offering her hand. “Hi, I’m Jo Harvelle.”

“Eli Novak,” Dad grumbles, eyeing her critically while curtly shaking her hand.

Dean stops and grins at me and I smile back.

Lucifer pauses, waiting while Sam releases me and grins.

Sam offers his hand casually. “Hi, I’m Sam Winchester.”

“Eli Novak. I’ve heard a lot about you.” He takes Sam’s hand in his and shakes it curtly, taking everyone in.

Michael pointedly avoids looking at Dad as well, studying me too thoroughly for comfort and ignoring Dad’s gaze on everyone.

Lucifer spares Dad a single glance before throwing his arms around me, kissing the top of my head like he used to and squishing the air out of me. I laugh and wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder and breathing him in.

After a minute or so like this, Lucifer breaks away and grins at me. “You had us worried there for a while.”

I shrug. “Dean told me.”

Dean blushes scarlet and ducks his head. “You heard me?”

“Yup.” I smile appreciatively at him. “Only reason I’m awake now is what you told me.”

His blush deepens but a smile quirks the corners of his mouth. “Damn.”

I grin, marveling at the fact that this is _Dean Winchester_ , cool boy and big brother to Sam, and I can now count him among my friends. “Oh, shut up. You know you meant all you said.”

“Yeah, I did.” Dean shrugs. “Wasn’t sure if you’d remember.”

“Of course I did.” Dean’s blush deepens and he smiles shyly. I smile warmly back.

Michael, all too aware of Dad’s eyes on him, lifts me into a tight hug and ruffles my hair. My eyes close and I wrap my arms around him, burrowing into the crook of his neck and relaxing into his embrace.

The hug lasts several minutes beyond when Lucifer pulled away and Michael doesn’t even pull away before whispering in my ear, “I love you, Gabe.”

I smile at him and breathe, “I love you, too.”

He smiles in acknowledgement before pulling away, mussing my hair again. “You need to be more careful, you little shit. Don’t do that again.”

I grin, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “’Kay. I won’t, promise.”

I feel like a little kid again when his face lights up with a grin. “Good.”

Dad clears his throat. “Language, Michael.”

The tension in the room jumps and continues to climb and Michael freezes.

I narrow my eyes. “You don’t get to tell him what to do. He’s a grown ass man and gets to decide what to do with his life. Shut your damn mouth, Dad.”

Dean’s mouth opens and he blurts, “So you’re the asshole that made Cas like that.”

Everyone freezes and turns towards Dean in shock. My eyes widen as Dad turns, raising an eyebrow and sweeping his gaze critically over Dean. The look is meant to make Dean feel bad—he’d used it on us before—but he merely narrows his eyes, unphased.

Dad crosses his arms and spits, “Like _what?_ ”

Dean raises his chin proudly. “Scared shitless of telling anyone who he really is, of making friends. It took a lot of work for Sammy, Jo and I to make friends with him.”

“Who he really is,” Dad repeats blandly.

Dean nods. “Yeah, a homosexual and a super awesome guy.”

Dad merely raises an eyebrow, radiating frustration. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

“I—er—I _overheard_ him telling Sammy everything about what happened the night he left.”

Sam’s eyes widen but he doesn’t say anything. Dean nods Sam’s way, setting his jaw in a determined way.

“You didn’t hear the tone of his voice, the shakiness of it. You didn’t hear him say he can still feel a hand, _your_ hand, on his face from where he was hit. You didn’t hear him say that no one tried to stop him when he left, that crack in his voice as he said it.”

Dean voice is shaking with barely suppressed anger. “You weren’t _there._ You didn’t care. And you think you can just walk back into Gabe and Cas’ lives after apologizing over _text_? Seriously, man, that’s really shitty. Hell, Sam told me that. When I upset Cas, I drove my ass over to him at, like, three in the morning just to apologize to his face. I texted to make sure he was up and it was okay to come talk, but I went and said it to his face like a grown ass man _should_ when they do something wrong.”

My jaw drops open and I barely notice my shaking hands. _He’s literally telling off my dad for not apologizing to our faces? Oh my god._

Dean shakes his head. “That’s the _laziest damn way_ to apologize. You can’t expect them to even _begin_ forgiving you because you sent a text about it! You’ve gotta man up and do it to their face, and if you’ve got witnesses, so be it. Hell, I’m ninety percent sure Gabe saw us when I was apologizing but I don’t really give a shit because it doesn’t matter. It’s even a good thing.”

I swallow past the dryness of my throat and manage to say, “Yeah, I did see.”

Dean tosses me a smile. “Point proven. As I was saying, you have to actually apologize _to his face_ before you can just expect him to let you back in his life—injured like Cas, or not like Gabe.”

Dad bares his teeth, a warning sign he’s about to explode. “Who the hell do you think you are, ordering me around?”

Dean straightens to his full, considerable height. He’s just barely taller than Dad. “I’m Cas’ boyfriend Dean.”

Dad raises an eyebrow. “I’ve heard quite a few positives about you from both Gabriel and Lucifer, as well as from Sam. You’re a lot more _touchy_ than they mentioned.”

Dean’s eyes narrow. “Yeah, because they’re my friends. They’ve earned trust and respect. You’ve gotta earn that. And you would be too if your dad was an abusive alcoholic douche, anyone would be.”

Sam blinks and Dean’s eyes flash with just a touch of uncertainty as he glances at him. “Not now, Sammy. Later.”

Lucifer swallows, looking between Dad and Dean. I can almost see him steeling himself as he comes to some kind of decision about something.

After a moment’s hesitation, he clears his throat. “Dean’s right, Dad. You still have to _apologize_ like a normal person. You’ve done something to all of us to drive us away. We’re never good enough, no matter what we do. We’re never perfect and you never approve. With Gabe it was over Mom, with Cas over his homosexuality, with Michael over being too much like Mom, with me for not wanting to do what you told me and choosing to be a lawyer instead of a church guy. And look where it got me! I’m _rich_ , I’m _powerful_ , I’m helping Cas and Gabe take down an asshole who _beat Cas up_ for his sexuality. But it’s never been good enough for you, and I doubt it ever will be. Dean’s right, you _do_ have to apologize. You can’t just walk back in and expect us _all_ to just forget how we were treated at your hands. Mom would be ashamed to see what you’ve become, and don’t try to argue with that.”

My eyes widen. “Lucy, I’m not—”

“Gabe, please.” Lucifer shoots me a strained smile. “You know Dean’s right.”

My gaze falls. “Yeah, but—”

“No, Gabe, don’t.” Michael clears his throat, steeling himself. “Lucifer’s right, Dean’s right. I’m done being looked down on as _not good enough_ , _never_ good enough for you, Dad. I’m not going to just stand idly by like there’s nothing wrong.”

Dean’s mouth opens in surprise and then he collects himself. “See? You just drive your own children away, and it’s wrong. It’s not _okay_ , and _they’re_ _not_ okay. You have to apologize. You have to admit you were wrong, or accept that they’ll never trust you.”

Dad’s wide eyes are only matched by Sam and Jo’s as the whole family turns towards Dad, waiting for him to respond. He straightens and collects himself, shaking in anger. “You don’t know that.”

“You care,” I insist quietly, keeping my gaze downcast as he turns to me. “You _do_ care what we think, and right there’s the proof. Dean’s right, I won’t trust you. It doesn’t matter if you apologized over text or not, I’m still scared you’ll do the same damn thing all over again and I know I’ll never be good enough for you even if I were to come back with you. But I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got a good life here, with Cas. Visit all you want, that won’t change a thing unless you actually apologize to my face and you actually _mean it_.”

Dad’s mouth opens in surprise. “Gabriel—”

“Gabe,” Dean corrects quietly. “He’s not really Gabriel anymore, not the one you knew. Gabe’s a funny guy who brings light in the darkest of times and needs to be with us to help us all lighten up a touch in this dark and infuriating time. Gabriel’s an obedient little shit who ran away from home because he couldn’t stand by and wait while you turned his family into stone statues. He told Cas he still remembers when Michael and Lucifer would sing and dance, but that reminded you of their mother so they stopped. He remembers when Cas was turned cold because of you, and that nearly stopped his heart. He left _because of you_ , and he isn’t gonna trust you until _you_ _fix it_ , damn it. I would know, I learned this shit with Cas.”

Dad turns away from Dean, towards me. This time he doesn’t miss the flinch and the movement as I edge back.

A ringing silence falls. Dad breaks it with a single, defiant word. “ _Fine._ ”

I blink in surprise as he turns to me first. “Gabriel, I’m sorry. We both said things we didn’t mean, and I’m sorry. You’ve always been good enough, all of you, but I didn’t want to lose you like I lost your mother. Maybe I overreacted, but it was out of fear and not anger. And in doing so, I drove you away just like I feared.”

My mouth opens and I swallow, soaking in the words and his quiet, gentle tone. _He actually means it._

I struggle to find the words for a while before I manage to say, “You really mean that?”

He nods curtly. I blink as it washes through me, lifting my spirits and removing most of the fear with it.

I edge forward, slipping off the bed to the floor and wrapping my arms around him. “Thank you.”

He wraps his arms around me slowly and gently, kissing the top of my head. “I mean it.”

“I believe you,” I murmur, closing my eyes. “For better or for worse.”

After a moment that feels like forever, we break apart and Dean smiles just slightly, leaning against the door frame.

Dad turns slowly to Michael, reaching out and touching his shoulder. “You’ve always been good enough, Michael. You’re so like your mother, and it’s still raw and it still hurts. But that still doesn’t excuse how I treated you, and I’m sorry for that.”

Michael melts under his touch, throwing his arms around him. “You could’ve told us, you know. Family’s there for you. We were all working through it and trying to figure out what her absence meant.”

Dad smiles just slightly, wrapping his arms around Michael. “I should’ve, yeah. Can’t change it now.”

After a minute or so, they break apart and Michael shoots Dean a grateful smile. Dean grins back, crossing his arms.

Dad turns slowly to Lucifer, and I can almost see the gears in his head turning as he figures out how to word it. “Look, Lucifer, you were always good enough. It wasn’t that you were a lawyer or that you were helping Cas and Gabe—I’m proud of you for that. I am. I was afraid I’d lose you. Lawyers work hard and long hours and rarely have a minute to spare. I’m still not quite sure how you managed it. I was scared you’d be too wrapped up in work to spend time with family anymore.”

“Dad, I’d never,” Lucifer chokes, tears filming his eyes. “I’ll always have time for family, even if I have to take time off work. I can do that.”

Dad’s gaze drops to his feet and I could’ve sworn I saw him mouth, “Mother Mary help me. _Nicole_ help me, he’s more your son than mine.”

He closes his eyes and a tear slips down his face. “I’m proud of you, all of you. You did far better than I could’ve expected, you made lives I could only dream of. My father told me if I didn’t work for the church, he’d disown me, and that was terrifying to a teenager—enough that I believed him and I went to work for the church.”

_He literally just asked for Mom’s help. And Mother Mary. And he pulled that card, the ‘I’ve been there’ card. Damn._

Lucifer edges forward, catching the tear and wrapping his arms around Dad. “Hey, shhh.”

Dad wraps his arms around him and buries his face in Lucifer’s shoulder, visibly shaking.

After several minutes, he seems to relax and his eyes drop closed. Lucifer tightens his grip, murmuring, “We’re here for you if you need us, but you have to _tell us_ you need us or we won’t know.”

Dad just nods, the shivers slowing to a stop as Lucifer murmurs comforting nonsense under his breath.

It feels like hours pass, but when I check my watch it’s only been five minutes since I woke up. _Wait, really? Five minutes? Feels like a million._

Dean glances towards Cas’ room warily, stiffening as Dad releases Lucifer and Lucifer wipes his face dry.

Dean steps aside to let Michael and Lucifer pass but moves in Dad’s way. “Not yet. You stay here.”

Sam and Jo slip across the hall with him.

I reach out and touch Dad’s shoulder. We’re alone again.

He turns, surprised. “What?”

“I’ve never seen you fall apart like that,” I answer quietly, moving closer.

Dad shrugs. “Never have, really.”

“I saw you ask for Mom’s help,” I murmur, pointedly keeping my gaze downcast.

He sucks in a breath and I look up to find the most vulnerable look I’d ever seen on anyone’s face, let alone his. “I, um, I didn’t...”

I catch a tear with my finger. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

Dad’s gaze falls to his feet as he starts crying again. “He’s more _her_ than me.”

I wrap my arms tightly around him, resting my ear over his racing heart. “I know. We all are, except maybe Cas. Only difference is Cas is a homo and you’re not.”

Dad chokes, his head falling limply on my shoulder. “Yeah, I suppose so. I didn’t really get to know him all that well. He never really said anything.”

“Cause he figured you knew,” I counter lightly. “He figured you knew and he was an exception for some reason. He didn’t realize you were all unaware of it. I knew since he was four. It was obvious and he had no doubts even then. He never took an interest in any girl, he played with the boys all the time. As he got older, others began to realize it. It’s still vivid in his memory when Lucy walked in on him and Balthazar. Balthazar was drunk from a spin-the-bottle study thing and he just decided out of the blue he wanted to kiss Cas. He didn’t even think about it. Cas told me. It’s still vivid in his memory because it was his first kiss—who doesn’t remember that?—and he didn’t even care that Balthazar was a guy but Lucy kicked him out just like you would’ve.”

Dad shivers. “Your mother was my first kiss.”

I grin, ruffling his hair. “Was she all flustered?”

“Yeah,” Dad chuckles weakly.

I shake my head. “Remember things like that. Appreciate her life, don’t mourn her death. Life’s for the living, so live it. Passenger—a singer—sang a song about that.”

Dad rubs quickly at his eyes. “You’re good at this kinda thing.”

I chuckle. “Didn’t used to be. But I heard the song and first thing I thought of was her. Had to learn to move on, to forgive and forget, otherwise it held me back.”

Dad laughs shakily. “You’re more wise than most people I know.”

I roll my eyes, lifting my head off his slowing heart. “I wouldn’t call it wisdom; more experienced, sure.”

He smiles a watery and sad smile at me. “That right there. That’s what she would’ve said.”

Heat floods my cheeks as I grin back. “Oh, shut up.”

A half smile cracks across his face. “Make me.”

I stretch up on my tip-toes to kiss his cheek and he falls silent in surprise.

I grin, crossing my arms. “Made you shut up, ha, ha.”

He bursts into a fit of laughter, shoving me playfully. “No, you didn’t.”

Dean peeks in the room, raising an eyebrow. “Cas said he’ll talk to you on one condition. _I have to be in the room._ ”

Dad turns, eyebrows raised. “Seriously?”

Dean nods stiffly, clearly disagreeing with his decision. “Yeah. Coming?”

Dad takes a small step forward, testing him. Dean takes a step back, towards Cas’ door.

After a second and a glance at me, he nods and Dean tugs open the door, a scowl flitting across his face as Dad passes. He nods towards me questioningly and I dart across the hall into the room.


	10. Dying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and his father 'talk it out' (also known as Cas explodes at him, Dean is amused, and he apologizes and pulls some cards like 'your mother wouldn't like it' and 'your mother's death is my fault'). Dad tells them he's only got 3 months left, but Cas is certain he'll last the rest of the year to graduation. Dad offers to walk Cas down the aisle at his wedding (AKA offers to marry Dean & Cas). Dean is surprised. Ends with a kiss and fluffy "sappy" stuff. Dean & Cas tell each other "I love you" and state qualities they like (Cas just sort of says 'well yeah Dad thinks he's good for me, he's overprotective and sweet and funny and understanding' and Dean is like 'I'm still here' and Cas says he knows; then Dean comes back with 'you're amazing and hilarious and sweet and the kindest, strongest person I know.' Cas says 'awww' and they end up kissing. Fluff!) Dean & Cas kiss in front of Sam and Sam gags and says 'gross' and Dean just smiles into the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' perspective. Starts from last chapter where Dean, Sam, and Jo go into Cas' room to discuss his father's arrival. Aggressive, overprotective Dean. Mock-grossed-out Sam (when Dean and Cas kiss in front of him). Jo and Sam leave the room when Cas' father enters. Lots of yelling and Cas spits at Eli that he made him hate himself for who he is (as Dean & Gabe don't know this, the silence is VERY profound) and he just recently overcame it. 
> 
> I know the summary is long, it mentions there's two kisses between Cas & Dean in short and Cas and his dad are chatting (yelling, more like). Dad offers to walk Cas down the aisle, to marry him to whoever he wants to marry (AKA Dean!) in the time he has left. LONG chapter but worth reading the whole thing.

I look up as Dean, Jo, and Sam slip into the room. Dean shuts the door aggressively behind him, muttering angrily under his breath.

Jo tosses me a strained smile and I manage to sit up again, looking between all their worried expressions. “Dean, please. Calm down. What’s going on?”

Dean tosses an ugly scowl towards the door and sighs, throwing himself into a chair.

Jo sighs and sinks into a chair, shaking her head. “Complicated.”

Sam sighs. “You guys are confusing the hell out of him. Look, Cas. Your dad’s here. Just across the hall, with Gabriel. He apologized for everything, to Michael and Lucifer and Gabriel. He wants to come over here, but Dean’s all pissy and he won’t let him.”

Dean finally looks up. “ _Sam,_ that’s not how you’re supposed to tell him. Way to lay it on thick, god.”

I try to close my mouth but I can’t, my eyes wide and my mouth open. Dean rubs his face, getting up and taking one of my hands in his. “I’m sorry, Cas, but Sam’s right.”

I swallow past the lump in my throat, closing my hand on his. “He’s...here?”

My voice cracks with fear and Dean sits next to me, worry replacing the anger. “Yeah.”

“ _Here?_ Not on the phone, like physically...?”

Dean nods. “Yep.”

A tidal wave of fear crashes over me. “But...he’s.... _what?_ ”

Dean closes his eyes. “I know. He did text Gabriel, but I told him that’s a shitty way to apologize and that he had to do it to his face and Gabriel...man, _he backed me up_ . Once he found his voice, that is. He said he’d be scared it was gonna happen again unless he looked him in the eye and apologized. And he _did_ , man, but...I don’t know, I don’t trust him. Hell, I wouldn’t if I were you. He _hit_ you, he called you evil because of who you are, it’s bullshit.”

I shiver and Dean wraps his arms around me, turning easily from angry, overprotective boyfriend to comforting and worried friend like a switch was flipped in his brain. “But, I...but... _why?_ ”

“From what he told Gabriel about being afraid of losing them all just like he lost your mom, sounds like he’s afraid he’s gonna lose you guys. Don’t know why he cares after all this time. I mean, it’s been _ten years_ with Gabe and, what, a few months with you?”

I swallow. “Yeah. Did he really say that?”

Dean nods. “Yeah. Disturbing shit right there. Watching _Lucifer_ turn into a puddle of tears.”

I shiver, wrapping an arm around him. “I...I don’t...”

Dean cuts me off with a gentle, unhurried kiss. With just that move, he sucks away most of the fear and shock.

Jo giggles and Sam gags, “Oh my god, _Dean_ , stop!”

Dean smiles slightly into the kiss but doesn’t pull away until I do.

Sam gags and draws a finger over his throat. “Good god, kill me now.”

Jo giggles, smacking his arm. “You’re so melodramatic, chill.”

He drops into a chair, slumping over and making death sounds from TV shows. “Uhhhh...”

I shake my head at Sam, grinning at Dean. “Weird as it is, that actually helped.”

“Distraction.”

Sam chokes again. “Oh my god, they’re doing the goo-goo eyes. Kill me now, have mercy on me.”

Jo laughs, shoving the chair over. He sticks his tongue out dramatically, draping himself over the chair. “I’m dead now. You literally killed me.”

Sam gets up, laughing. Dean sticks his tongue out at him, pecking me on the mouth. “I don’t know if I’m more mad or worried that he’s suddenly shown back up.”

Sam sighs, his face turning from a grin to serious quickly. “He was crying. Shaking. Lucifer was trying to comfort him but it didn’t work as well as he figured. I don’t know. He’s polite enough, but I don’t get the motive.”

I close my eyes. “I do.”

Dean’s arms tighten around me. “What?”

I open my eyes. “I _think_ I do. Lucifer came around,  right? Well, he told me and Gabe that Dad had a minor stroke. Lost speech recognition temporarily. I think it’s to do with that. He told me over text Dad had been talking about putting Gabe and I in his will, in case he _does_ die. He’s dying, slowly. So he’s making up while he can? I think.”

Dean sighs. “He’s still an ass.”

“I still love him and miss him, however slight. He’s still my dad.”

Dean bites his lip. “I don’t really...every time I gave my dad another chance, he blew it. So if he blows this one, and tries again...I really wouldn’t suggest letting him _let you down_ again.”

I shrug. “I’m not that stupid. But I’m also not...I don’t trust him, no. But he’s my dad.”

Dean shakes his head. “It’s your choice, but I really don’t like the guy.”

“I doubt he likes you, from how you reacted to his arrival,” I counter lightly, brushing a stray hair out of his face. “I don’t trust him and I doubt I’ll ever trust him the same, but I kinda wanna give it a try and see what happens. Not that I trust him enough to be alone with him.”

I shake my head, shivering, and Dean closes his eyes, sighing. “I wouldn’t either.”

I raise an eyebrow, nudging him. “I’ll talk to him on one condition—you _have to be_ in the room, and I’d prefer to have Gabe in the room, too. I don’t trust him, not yet.”

Dean opens his eyes, straining a smile for my sake. “Okay.”

Jo and Sam collapse in the chairs on their side of the room as Dean slips back out the door.

_I sure as hell hope he doesn’t screw this up. I don’t even want to hope just to be let down all over again._

Red-rimmed eyes and wrinkled tan skin, a little off from what I remember. Dad slips into the room, staying close to the door and keeping his eyes trained on his feet.

Dean gestures and Gabe darts across, slipping in the room. He shuts the door behind him as Gabe slips over and pulls a chair over, sitting next to me. The stress and worry pull a frown onto his face as he touches my hand gently, shivering slightly and glancing at Dad.

I ignore Dad for the time being, touching Gabe’s hand with my other hand and sandwiching his hand between mine. “You okay? I heard something about a coma.”

“Nah, I’m okay. You shouldn’t be worrying about me, you should be worried about getting better.”

I reach out and lift his gaze to mine, frowning. “Gabe, you’re my big brother. I’m going to worry about you even if I’m hurt. Spitting out blood or just a black eye, I’ll still ask about you first.”

A small smile tugs on his mouth, and he squeezes my hand. “You were spitting out blood again, I’d personally force you to worry about yourself first.”

I smile at him, ruffling his hair. “That’s cause you’re a _good_ big brother.”

I emphasize ‘good’ more than I had intended and Gabriel notices it, smiling slightly. “Yeah, Michael and Lucifer.”

I nod. “Exactly.”

The silence is profound for a second and I release his hand, settling down. _Thank god Gabe’s okay._

The awkward silence rings for a moment before Dad clears his throat, drawing my attention.

I let my head whip around, my body naturally tensing and moving closer to Gabriel, eyes darting to Dean’s. Dean nods just slightly, settling down next to Gabriel.

The silence rings again.

We stay frozen like that, eyes locked. No one makes a sound, waiting for us to break the silence ourselves.

I finally swallow, breaking the eye contact and biting my lip, half-waiting for him to explode again.

Dean reaches out, folding my hand in his. It’s a silent show of companionship and affection, and I appreciate it. I close my hand on his, watching nervously as Dad edges closer.

Sam stands and moves out of his way,  pulling Jo with him. They slip out of the room, leaving me alone with Dean and Gabe...and Dad.

Dad stops next to me, in the space left by Sam and Jo.

For at least a minute, the silence reigns supreme again. Dean, judging by his active scowl, is very irritable. Gabe is actively trying to keep his gaze down off of Dad. The uncomfortable and thick tension keeps me still, on edge.

Finally the silence is broken by Dad. “Hey, Cas.”

I take a deep breath, answering,  “Hey, Dad.”

The slight strain on me to be polite is small but suffocating.

He smiles shyly, asking softly, “Are you okay?”

I shake my head, answering honestly, “No. Broken ribs, shit ton of bruising. Probably shouldn’t be up,  but...I feel better than I did just an hour ago, so I don’t really wanna be down right now.”

“And you don’t trust me,” Dad murmurs softly, eyes downcast.

I shiver. Before I can catch myself, I spit, “Why would I?”

Dad flinches and Dean grins, a fierce pleasure flashing behind his eyes for a second before it’s gone, the smile disappearing with it.

Dad shuffles his feet, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “I-I...”

I shake my head, frustration overtaking the fear. “I thought you _knew_ ! I didn’t say anything because I figured you _already knew_.”

“How could I know when you never said anything?” On the defensive, Dad sweeps his arms wide, lifting his gaze. “You didn’t even _hint_ at it!”

I clench my fists, taking a deep breath. “Of course I did! I never hung out with girls. There was never a ‘special girl’ or a first kiss like with anyone else. Yeah, it was subtle, but it was _there_.”

He shakes his head, tense and uneasy. “How was I supposed to pick up on that?”

I let my frustration pour over, giving me the strength to go on. “No _crush_ , none that I told you about. Balthazar was my first kiss, but I couldn’t tell you. Eli _holier-than-thou_ Novak.”

Dad flinches and I take a deep breath, giving him my worst glare. “And then you _hit me_ when I finally said it aloud. How am I supposed to _forget_ that? How am I supposed to _forgive_ you? You called me _evil_ , Dad! It’s not a _lifestyle choice_ , it’s biological bullshit I have to deal with! I’m _beat up_ , I’m _yelled at_ , I didn’t want that from my own _family!_ Dean’s one of the few who never questioned it, never _gave a shit_ like you did. Sam didn’t care; hell, even _Jo_ didn’t care when I finally told her. Why do you think I’m in the damn hospital? I don’t _want_ to be here, I’m here cause some asshole decided he was high and mighty over me because of who I am! How the hell are you any different? You hit me, and I can still feel your hand on my face. _You called me_ _evil_ , because _my sexuality is evil_ , even though it doesn’t define who I am. You know me! It didn’t change a thing!”

I pause for breath and Gabriel’s wide eyes barely give me pause. Dean is caught between admiration and surprise.

Dad collapses into a chair, lowering his head into his hands. “I’m not proud of what I did, son. I _know_ it was wrong. I know it hurt you, it hurts _me_ . People say things they don’t mean to when they’re angry or surprised, okay? You know that! I know that. I’m not any better than the kid who beat you up in many ways, but is he ever going to come and apologize to you? Is he ever gonna try and make it up to you? I _highly_ doubt it.”

I take a deep breath, trying to still the shaking. I lower my voice, hissing, “His name is Raphael Finnerman, and I _know_ he won’t. He’s a damn asshole, and I’m not going to let him _make me_ _hate myself_ like I did over you for so damn long. I left because I was done listening to how evil my sexuality was, because that made _me_ evil.”

There’s a stunned silence. Gabriel reaches out, his hand brushing my shoulder and drawing my eyes. I feel a pang of guilt, since he looks so surprised  and upset. _I haven’t told him everything. Hell, I didn’t tell Dean he made me hate myself. But it’s too late to take it back._

I glance at Dean. His eyes are narrowed in Dad’s direction, and he’s clenching his muscles to keep the shaking to a minimum. _Shit. ...Too late now._

Weakly, Dad protests, “I didn’t _make you_ hate yourself, that was a choice.”

I shake my head. “Nature versus nurture, Dad. You encouraged a certain lifestyle I _couldn’t follow_. And I hated myself for that. Hell, I tried pushing Sam away when he first offered help. Luckily he’s smarter than he looks.”

Dean shifts slightly, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth and making him look much less intimidating.

There’s another awkward silence as I catch my breath. Dad’s head is in his hands and Dean is shaking, Gabriel’s wide eyes tell me he’s still processing everything I’m saying.

I move closer to the side of the bed Dean and Gabe are on, taking Gabe’s hand in mine and squeezing.

He looks up, mouth open, and our eyes meet. I tilt my head slightly in our private language. _I’m sorry._

He shakes his head and raises an eyebrow. _It’s okay. Are you?_

I shiver, shaking my head and nodding. _I don’t know._

Dean glances at us, a light frown tugging on his lips. I shake my head at him, mouthing, “Later.”

He nods, seeming to understand.

Dad finally lifts his head, streaked with tears. “I don’t know _how_ I’m supposed to make it up to you, but I want to. Nicole wouldn’t have liked it, and I’m dying.”

The admission rings in the air and Gabriel clears his throat. “D-dying?”

Dad nods. “The stroke? Compromised a few vital things. I don’t have long left. They gave me three months, tops.”

I shift my gaze to him. “That’s what they gave Mom when they declared her cancer terminal. She lasted two.”

Dad swallows. “I know. That’s my point. I don’t have long, and I’d rather not die with that on my mind.”

I chew on my lip, the fear washing back in. “How am I supposed to know you won’t do it all over again?”

“I don’t have the time to, and I don’t want to.”

I crush Gabriel’s hand under mine and he barely shifts, too distracted by Dad.

We all exchange a glance. Dean shakes his head and shrugs. _I don’t know._

Gabriel shrugs. _No idea._

I sigh, shaking my head. _I don’t know either._

Dad raises an eyebrow. “You have a secret code or something?”

I glance at him. “Sort of. Working on that.”

Despite my instincts screaming against it, I release Gabriel’s hand and move half an inch towards Dad. He blinks, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “You mean it? What you said?”

He ducks his head to cover a blush, mumbling, “I don’t want to lose you, too, like I lost your mother.”

I flinch. “You didn’t lose Mom, she lost a losing battle.”

“Still raw, still hurts. Still blame myself for not knowing sooner, whether or not I should be.”

I glance at Gabriel and he nods, mouthing, “He did say that.”

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath and asking shyly, “ _If_ I were to give you a second chance, what happens?”

He sucks in a quick breath and his head snaps up. “I’m not sure. Hell, I’ll walk you down the aisle for whoever you want if that’s what it takes to make it up to you.”

I shoot Dean a glance and we exchange a small smile. Dean’s tension has eased and he’s stopped shaking.

I take a deep breath and turn back to Dad. “Fine, but if you mess this up you _don’t_ get another chance.”

The tension disappears and everyone seems to deflate like a balloon letting out air.

Dad’s mouth opens slightly and he slowly stands, moving forward and offering a hand. “Truce?”

I weigh my options and how much pain it’ll cause before deciding it’s worth it and throwing myself up into his arms. “Truce.”

His arms wrap around me, warm and comforting again. We stay like that for what seems like forever as the pain in my ribs builds until I finally can’t stand it anymore, pulling away and smiling shyly at him. He smiles back, lowering me to the bed and tucking me in like he used to, kissing my cheek. _The same one he hit._

The fear and the last of the anger and frustration drains away, leaving me exhausted and in pain but relieved. I’ve dreamed about having this conversation, and now it’s happened—with _everyone_ but Anna.

Dad slips out of the room, just like that, leaving a ringing silence in his wake.

Finally Gabriel breaks the silence with a quiet and broken, “ _Three months or less?_ ”

I shake my head, feeling the weight of that crash in on me. “Has he told Lucifer or Michael?”

Gabriel shakes his head. “If he _did_ , they didn’t tell me. I don’t think so.”

I swallow, closing my eyes. “Prob’ly shouldn’t’ve done that. Oh, well.”

Gabriel and Dean shift places and Dean places a gentle hand over my ribs. “Did he seriously offer to marry us?”

“Yep.” I peek at his expression and laugh weakly. “You look surprised. He said he doesn’t know what to do to make it up to me. That would be one hell of a memory, right? Only a few months till I graduate. We can do it.”

“While he’s still alive, you mean,” Dean murmurs quietly, shaking his head. “One hell of a way to ask for an apology, throwing that out there.”

“Not sure how I feel about it. I don’t know if I’m more relieved or worried.”

Gabriel shrugs. “I don’t know how to feel either. I’m...worried as hell, and he _apologized_ , but...I don’t know.”

For some reason, I’m confident he’ll last through graduation. “He’ll last through graduation. I don’t know, he just will. I don’t usually get that weird feeling, but I get it with him. He’ll last beyond what they expect, about a year. He might not have long, but he’s still got longer than he thinks.”

Lucifer and Michael slide in the room. Michael fidgets again, avoiding my eyes.

I swallow. “Did he tell you guys they gave him three months, tops?”

They both flinch and Michael’s eyes widen. “Seriously?”

I bite my lip. “That’s what he told me. Said he doesn’t have long, they gave him three months tops.”

Lucifer shivers. “That the only reason he’s apologizing?”

“He said Mom wouldn’t like it.”

Michael sucks in a breath, swallowing. “He pulled that card again?”

“And that _he lost_ Mom, yeah.”

They exchange a glance and Lucifer murmurs, “He broke down crying. Right in front of us.”

“Might explain it,” Michael agrees quietly. “If he’s worried he’ll lose us in the time he’s got left.”

I grin. “Know what?”

Lucifer raises an eyebrow. “What?”

I glance at Dean. “He offered to _walk me down the aisle_ , in his words, _with whoever I want._ In other words, he’s kinda admitting defeat and saying he’ll marry Dean and I. Pretty weird, for him.”

“With how much Dean kinda blew up at him, I’m surprised.” Michael flashes Dean a smile. “He apologized _because of Dean_ , and now he’s saying he’s good for you?”

“Well, he’s overprotective and sweet and funny and understanding. So yeah.”

Dean ducks his head, blushing scarlet. “I’m still here, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” I toss him a light smile. “Love you.”

His blush deepens and Gabriel chuckles, his older mannerisms returning like a snap of my fingers. “Look who’s embarrassed. Little Dean-o having second thoughts?”

Dean shivers, shooting him a glare. “Oh, shut up.”

He grins, surprising Lucifer by grabbing his hand and pulling him out the door with him. Michael slips out, too uncomfortable to stay in the room.

Dean laughs nervously. “You didn’t have to say that out loud.”

“I know, I wanted to.” I reach out and take his hand in mine, a smile pulling at the corners of my mouth. “Because I love you, and all that’s true.”

A light smile touches Dean’s mouth. “I love you, too. If we’re gonna get all sappy, you should know _you’re_ amazing and sweet and hilarious and you’re one of the kindest, strongest people I know.”

A grin splits across my face. “ _Awww_ , Dean.”

He laughs, shoving lightly at my shoulder. “It’s true.”

“I know it is.” I reach out and ruffle his hair, grinning. “And _sappy_ is gonna start being the norm around you.”

He chuckles, mussing my hair. “You’re so dorky, even when you’re hurt.”

“It’s one of my redeeming qualities.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah, it is. You better recover soon, or I’ll have to personally kick Raphael’s ass. I have a limited supply of patience.”

I grin, punching his shoulder. “You better not screw up my court case. But by all means, feel free to break his nose...or twist his balls....or suggest that he should get laid......be my guest, feel free to embarrass the hell out of him.”

Dean grins, pulling me in for a kiss. My eyes close and this time I’m the one who grins into the kiss, nipping his lip. He shivers, hand in my hair. We finally pull apart and grin at each other, extremely happy for no damn reason at all.

“That’s one of the many reasons I love you,” I murmur, holding him close so our breath still mingles. “You make me ridiculously happy for no reason at all in the damn darkest times.”

Dean grins, eyes glowing with a fiery, fierce love. “Is that a good thing?”

“Hell, yeah. I’d probably be all depressed and bored without you.”

I release him and let him pull away, settling back down.

Dean slips out of the room with a goofy grin on his face, leaving me glowing with a wide grin despite slipping to sleep at the same time.


	11. Happy Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really short piece from Eli's perspective. He sees Cas and Dean kissing, and when Dean comes out he's curled in on himself and Dean asks if he's okay. He says Dean wouldn't understand and Dean (because of Sammy) says he will, so he tells him. Dean tells him to give Cas and Gabe a little time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Father's perspective. Short but he admits to himself that Dean & Cas are happy together.

I pause, peeking in the door’s window. _I hope he meant it._

Michael and Lucifer slip into the room and I take a deep breath, moving to lean against the wall.

Minutes later, they leave with Gabriel. I pretend to be asleep, not wanting to talk to them.

They disappear down the hall, and I peek in the room via the window.

Cas is grinning at Dean, and they’re chatting. Dean blushes scarlet, ducking his head. _He’s happy with Cas...more than happy. He’s polite. He’s making Cas happy._

Dean wraps his arms around Cas, pulling him in for a kiss. If he wasn’t so cool with it, I would’ve turned away. But his eyes close and his arms wrap around Dean, he’s _smiling_ into the kiss. He’s kissing back.

They kiss for around two minutes and then break apart, grinning at each other. Dean gently lowers Cas down, kissing his forehead and heading for the door with a big grin on his face. Cas is grinning, eyes closed.

I pull away, letting myself slide down the wall to the floor.

By the time Dean comes out, I’m not only emotionally drained, but my breathing is shaky. _Breathe, damn it. You're such an old man._

Dean stops, kneeling down next to me. “Hey, you okay?”

I sigh, opening an eye to meet his worried gaze. “Why should _you_ care?”

“Cas cares about you, and hey...I’m not a completely heartless bastard. It’s why people call me overprotective, if someone’s upset or hurt I automatically care. Unless you’re Raphael. I raised Sammy, I’m pretty much his mother at this point. Because of that, I’m naturally inclined to help people, protect them. Are you okay?”

I shake my head. “It’s complicated.”

Dean raises an eyebrow, smirking. “What’s not? Hell, Cas and I, _we’re_ complicated. Try me.”

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. “You wouldn't understand. You’re not a father.”

Dean sits down. “Ha. I’m as good as a father, now try me.”

I shiver, wrapping my arms around my knees. “Fine. I have five kids—Cas, Gabriel, Anna, Michael, and Lucifer. Anna’s been distant recently, Michael and Lucifer have been silent and scared. Michael and Lucifer are okay now, but Anna and Cas are distant. Gabriel is...not distant as much, but he’s not close either. I’m caught between worry that I don’t have the _time_ or _strength_ to fix it, and worry that they won’t _let_ me.”

Dean pauses to consider it. “Well, I don’t know Anna, but I know the other four. Gabriel just needs time. Visit his bakery, tell him how amazing his cooking is. Bond with him. He’ll come ‘round. Cas...you gotta earn his trust back. He’s confident you’re gonna make it to his graduation, he said you’ll last another year. But he did say it would be _a hell of a memory_ if you were there at our wedding.”

I smile slightly. “He actually _wants_ me there?”

“Well, yeah. You’re still his dad no matter what happened, as he put it.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

Dean nods. “Yep.”

A small smile tugs on my mouth. “That’s a good place to start, I suppose.”


	12. Restless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is restless and goes to talk to Ellen and Bobby. He arranges to talk to his dad (he's super nervous about it) and tells Sammy and Gabe about it. Cas is mentioned several times. Won't spoil what happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's perspective. Angst and worry. Restlessness. Dean writes a 'sappy-ass journal' entry to try and think and then goes to talk to Ellen and Bobby.

“ _When anyone asks me, I tell them Cas is fine and he’ll recover soon. When someone questions it, I just walk away. If Cas doesn’t recover, I don’t care about a court case or the damn consequences. I’d murder Raphael. I love him, and he loves me. That matters. Hell, he’s the first person I’ve ever considered settling down with. Calling Dad over. Talking to Sammy about. I care about him, I love him. I can’t just sit around and let him die, there has to be a way to save him. There has to be something I can do. I don’t know if I should talk to Gabriel or not, he is his older brother and I know he’s worried too but...I don’t know. I don’t like not knowing. This just sucks._”

I lift my pen, sighing. _Damn. Maybe I do need a sappy-ass journal just to get this all out._

I place the pen on the paper, letting my hand glide across the paper absently and waiting to see what happens.

“ _I hate chick flick moments and all, but with Cas it’s just...I can’t hide him, and I can’t keep myself at a distance. Maybe I should talk to Bobby, maybe I should talk to Ash or Benny. Who knows. I don’t know what to do or where to go. I’m gonna go crazy if I can’t find something productive to do. Hell, he’s talking about marriage already and I’m so ready for it. Whenever he’s ready, so am I. But what am I supposed to do now? How can I help him? He’s in pain and he’s ...he’s perfect, he’s my boyfriend, and I love that, but I can’t just sit and wait while doctors hover over him. I need to talk to Bobby or Ellen or...that’s it. Ellen. But where is she? Maybe Jo knows. I’ll have to ask, but I don’t know how to do that without giving it away. Maybe there’s no other way. Damn. I gotta try._”

I read through what I wrote and close the journal, pocketing it and standing. _No way around it._

I clench my fists and shiver, taking a half step towards her. _Come on, one step at a time._

I wander over slowly, touching her shoulder. She turns, eyes alight. “Dean! Hey.”

I smile shyly. “Hey. Where’s your mom? Thought she was all motherly over Cas.”

“She is,” Jo agrees. “Said she was gonna go talk to Bobby, I think. Does he know about Cas?”

My mouth opens and I sigh. “No. Never really had the time to mention it to him. Damn.”

Jo grins, smacking my shoulder. “Run along and tell him how Cas is doing, you little shit.”

I smile back, ruffling her hair. “Yeah, yeah, I’m on it.”

I slip out, breathing a mouthful of fresh air. _Thank god. Maybe I can talk to both of them, I don’t know._

I drop into the Impala and shove the keys in, turning it expertly. She purrs to life and I pull out.

All my worry washes away as my baby purrs her way towards the garage. I can’t stop worrying entirely, but at least I’m not as restless and on edge. Not as snappy.

I skid in, sliding smoothly out the door. Ellen and Bobby both turn as I shut the door, wandering towards them.

Ellen sweeps her arms wide. “You didn’t tell Bobby?”

I shrug. “Too busy getting him to the hospital, sorry.”

Bobby grunts. “How is the kid?”

I raise an eyebrow, grinning. “You _like_ him.”

“Shut up, ya idjit. How’s he doin’?”

I shrug, dancing from one foot to another. “He’s fine. His dad dropped by.”

Ellen’s eyes widen. “The one who drove him away?”

“Yep. Had a stroke and they gave him a time limit on life. So he came ‘round. Promised Cas he’d walk him down the aisle to marry whoever he wants to.” I sigh. “Don’t trust the guy, but he’s Cas’ dad and Cas decided he wants to give him a chance.”

Bobby shoves me lightly. “You’re more than worried, Dean. You’re not normally so fidgety.”

I close my eyes, stilling my feet. “It’s just...I feel like I should be _doing_ something for Cas, not _waiting_ for him to get better. When Sammy was sick, I could take care of him. When Cas got hurt, I patched him up and got him to the hospital—twice now. And now he’s drifting between coma and just unconscious, and there’s _nothing_ I can do about it. Yeah, I’m restless. I’m worried. And I can’t talk to just _anyone_ about it.”

Ellen pulls me in for a hug. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s a tough kid.”

“Tougher than he looks,” I agree, “But not invincible. I don’t...damn it, I don’t want to lose him.”

Ellen releases me, looking me very seriously in the eye. “You’re not gonna lose him, Dean. He’s strong and he’ll pull through. He’ll be okay.”

I shake my head. “Hope to God you’re right. Hey, guess what?”

“Yeah?”

I grin, pushing the worry away. “When his dad mentioned walking him down the aisle? First thing he does is look right at _me_. Looks at me, grins, and then turns back to his dad. What kinda hint is that?”

Bobby chuckles, clapping me on the shoulder. “He loves ya, Dean. I’m not surprised he’s hintin’ at you.”

Ellen grins, ruffling my hair. “His dad have anything to say about it?”

“Not really, didn’t mention it but I’m sure he noticed it.” I shrug, grinning. “Seems like he’s cool with it.”

Ellen shakes her head. “Good for you.”

My smile slips slightly and I lower my voice. “Look, I don’t know about this, but...I think I should call Dad? At least let him know I’ve got someone, whether or not he likes it?”

Bobby shrugs. “All up to you.”

Ellen smiles softly. “If you want to, then go ahead with it by all means. But you have to be sure you’re ready to tell him that, tell him about Cas.”

I steel myself. “Yeah, I am. Just don’t want him to flip out over ‘you’re gay’ cause I ain’t gay, I’m bi.”

“Tell him that,” Bobby grunts. “Let the asshole know, and then see what he does.”

“Over phone or get him to the Roadhouse?”

Ellen humphs. “I’d rather I can keep an eye on him. I’d suggest draggin’ him in to the Roadhouse, kiddo. I don’t trust him not to explode on ya, and if you’re under my eye I can step in if he gets too shitty over it.”

I take a deep breath. “’Kay. Tonight okay?”

She nods. “Soon as you’re ready, I’ll be there.”

I swallow. “Be there ‘round six?”

Ellen shrugs. “No problem. Should be there by five, if ya wanna show up early.”

I nod, straining a smile. “Thanks.”

She nods and Bobby grunts, “Make sure once Cas is up and about again, you’re workin’. We’ve got people requestin’ ya already.”

“I wanna do somethin’ with my hands, I can be in tomorrow probably. If I’m all tired and upset over somethin’, you can ask but it’s probably Dad.”

“Noted.”

I nod and drop back into the Impala, listening as she roars to life and quiets to an idle purr. _Come on, Baby, we gotta go home. I’ll text Jo or Sammy, but we gotta get Dad on the damn phone._

She roars and we squeal out, tires spinning us towards home. I skid into the driveway, throwing myself up the stairs and jamming the key in the lock, shoving my way inside.

The building’s as trashed as I left it, and luckily just as empty. I pick up my cell off the nightstand in my room, dialing Sam.

“Yeah, Dean? What’s up?”

I swallow. “Talked to Bobby, forgot to tell him ‘bout Cas. Sounds like he actually likes him.”

“Cool. That’s not why you called, is it?”

I shake my head, smiling. He always knows me. “Nah. Listen, I’m gonna go to the Roadhouse this evening, talk it out with Dad. Can you let Cas know once he’s up?”

Sam gasps. “ _You’re calling Dad?_ ”

I shrug. “Yeah, gonna get him in the Roadhouse. Why?”

“But I thought he was...ahem, ‘an abusive alcoholic douche’?”

I sigh. “Well, yeah, but he’s still our Dad. Deserves to know I’ve got someone now. Besides, Cas was hinting pretty heavily on marriage and all, so if that’s gonna go down then Dad has to know. Whether I like his drunkard, alcoholic, assholish attitude. Ellen promised to be there, I’ll be fine. He never tries anything under Ellen’s nose or Bobby’s thumb.”

“Okay, if you’re sure. Oh, and his dad said to tell you when I see ya he wants to talk. Nothing too serious, he just looked worried. Like, ‘how is Cas’ worried.”

I sigh, rolling my eyes. “Tell him I’ll talk when I come back to the hospital. I ain’t stayin’ the night with Dad, just the evening.”

Sam swallows. “You want me to tell him you’re gone or just ‘whenever you get back’?”

I consider it. “Doesn’t matter, he’s bound to notice I’m nowhere to be found. He’s not an idiot, or blind, even though he’s a bit of an asshole.”

“Okay.”

I pause. “Love you ,Sammy.”

“Love you too, Dean, and yeah I’ll pass your concern and love to Cas if you want me to.”

“Yeah, thanks, man.” I grin. “And tell Gabe I wanna see him when I get back, we have to talk.”

Sam gags. “Um, okay. That doesn’t sound weird at all.”

My grin widens. “Just something he told me about ‘if you’re serious about Cas...’, so you know, I gotta talk to him.”

He sighs, shaking his head. “Okay. I’ll pass it along. When you getting back?”

I shrug. “Don’t know, that depends on Dad. I’ll be at the Roadhouse by five, when Ellen gets there, so if you need me just drop by. I’ll probably be there until about eight, but I might be even later. All depends on Dad and his arrival and reactions, not my plans.”

Sam scoffs. “Yeah, okay. Talk later.”

I grin, replying, “Yep. You’re the best little bro ever.”

Sam laughs. “Best big brother ever. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I hang up and take a deep breath, checking the clock. _Two hours until I need him here, so I probably should call._

I close my eyes and steel myself, opening my eyes to select him and hit ‘dial’.

He picks up on the second ring, slurring, “Wassup?”

I sigh. “Dad, it’s Dean.”

“Oh, hey,” he hiccups drunkenly. “What’d’you want?”

I clench my fist around my phone. “We need to talk about...something big in my life. Get your drunk ass down to the Roadhouse by six o’clock. _Tonight_ , in two hours. So no more drinking. Sober your dumb ass up and drag yourself down here.”

“Fine, fine,” he grumbles, and I hear a slamming door. “I’m on my way. Be there in two or three hours.”

I grin, teasing, “Don’t forget the greasy burger served up on a dirty ashtray.”

“Ugh, I hate you.”

I shake my head. “I know you do. Just sober your ass up and get down here.”

“On it.” He hangs up and I close my eyes, taking a deep breath.

I rub my temples and open my eyes, throwing myself into Sam’s chair and dialing Gabriel.

“What up?”

I close my eyes. “Gabe, it’s Dean.”

“Oh, yeah. Sammy said you need to talk?”

I sigh. “You know how you said if I’m serious about Cas and all?”

He seems to nod, judging by the wind passing the mouthpiece of the phone. “Yep. Not like I’d forget that quickly. About that?”

“Yep.” I clear my throat. “So. I don’t really wanna say this, but I called my dad. I know he hates me and he’s an asshole and he called it disgusting when he caught me _looking_ at a guy when I was thirteen and all, but I called. He’s on his way, drunk or sober I can’t tell. We’re going to the Roadhouse, under Ellen’s eye—if you want to drop by, it’s fine—and at about six or seven he’s gonna show up. Gonna talk to him, even if he won’t listen.”

I pause and Gabriel swallows. “You saying you’re talking to the guy who _abused you_ because you’re that serious about Cas?”

I nod slowly. “Yeah. Cas is more important than Dad being an asshole. We hate each other and he hates Sam for some reason, which is really frustrating, but it’s gotta happen sooner rather than later.”

He clears his throat. “Okay? I’m assuming you won’t be back until late, then?”

I shrug. “Yeah, ‘round eight at the earliest. Tell Cas if you will, I don’t care. I’m not sure if I’m more scared he’ll explode or relieved that I can tell him about this. It’s huge.”

He sighs. “Don’t be scared, Dean-o. Even if he does explode, I doubt Ellen’ll let things get too far out of hand.”

I grin. “Hope so, that’s why the _Roadhouse_ is the meeting place and not the _house_.”

He nods. “Okay. You care if I tell Dad?”

“Nah, go ahead. I doubt he’ll actually understand the gravity of that move, but...he’s still your dad, and Cas’. Go ahead if you wanna.”

He yawns. “Alright, I’m on it. See ya later.”

“Yeah. Make sure Cas doesn’t pass too far out while I’m gone.”

Gabriel laughs. “Don’t worry, he’s too worried about you and Dad and everything that’s going on to go _full_ coma just yet. He’s been waking up frequently, asking about you and Dad and Sam and just everyone.”

“I’m fine, just...a bit nervous.”

Gabriel snorts. “Yeah, I would be too. Go on, don’t waste my time. I’ve got a baby brother to talk to, and a...well, _unusual_ situation to deal with.”

“Yeah, okay. Bye.”

“Bye,” Gabriel says cheerfully, hanging up.

I turn off my screen and shove my phone in my pocket, sinking down and hoping to sleep in the time I do have.


	13. Dad and Gabriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean talks to his dad about Cas and being bi. His dad is a, as Gabriel and Dean together describe it, "An alcoholic, abusive, homophobic douche canoe." Gabriel breaks him away from Dean and Ellen locks him up. Dean goes to see Cas and Eli is all fatherly over his dad being an ass and says 'let me talk to him' and Dean gives him specific instructions and tells him to go ahead.
> 
> Dean tells his Dad that nothing he says or does will change the fact that he loves Cas. His dad is an even bigger asshole when he says that, but he does (and Gabriel hears that). :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's perspective. Dean being all cute over Cas, like when he says 'you not approving isn't gonna change anything, I still love him'. :)
> 
> John is an asshole about it, seriously! Hard to write, but Eli is all fatherly to Dean and 'let me talk to him' over it and Gabriel is the one who stops him from doing any worse.

Dad spits, “You’re _what?_ ”

I wince, swallowing. “I’m not going to say it again, Dad. _Bi_. Like both guys and girls.”

He bares his teeth, starting to stand. “That all you wanted to tell—”

I shake my head. “No.”

He sinks back down, eyes flashing dangerously. “What the hell is so important?”

I take a deep breath, answering quietly, “Cas.”

I let that hang in the air. The gears behind his eyes are turning as he processes the information. “Who?”

I swallow, steeling myself. “Castiel Novak. _Cas._ ”

“Who the hell is that?”

I grit my teeth, forcing myself to breathe. “My boyfriend.”

He rockets to his feet and I shrink back. Ellen is in the back room, out of shouting range and out of sight. _Shit. I knew there would be something that trips him up._

He’s shaking, eyes narrowed. “Say that again?”

I close my eyes. “Cas is my boyfriend.”

He spits in my face, “Who the hell do you think you are?”

I slowly rise to my feet. “I am my _own person_ , Dad. And I love Cas, whether _you_ like that or not. I don’t need your approval. But I figured since his dad just walked back in his life and offered to walk him down the aisle, I might as well tell you.”

He moves around the table, lifting me in the air by my collar. “Say that to my face.”

I shove against him, shivering and dropping my gaze. _Damn it. He’s strong when he’s sober._

He throws me to the ground. “That’s what I thought.”

I rise shakily to my feet, breathing hard. “Dad.”

He turns, eyes narrowed, spitting, “ _What?_ ”

I swallow, pulling up to my full height. “ _I love Cas_ , and _I don’t need your damn approval_. I love him, and that’s that. Nothing you say or do can change that.”

He stalks closer and I resist the urge to shrink back, reminding myself _this is for Cas._ “Oh?”

I shiver, remembering the feel of his fists hitting me. “I wouldn’t’ve even called if I didn’t feel it was necessary for you to know, but that doesn’t mean I’ll change my mind because you tell me to.”

The silence in the packed Roadhouse rings in my ears and I ignore it, keeping my gaze defiantly on his.

I shrink back as he reaches out, grabbing my collar and shaking me. “You _defiant little shit_ , I’m your _father_ , not some damn sounding board!”

I close my eyes, shivers racking through me. _Someone do something._ “I never said you were. I wouldn’t’ve called if your weren’t my dad, I know you are. This is a big thing, and you deserve to know even if you don’t like it.”

He shakes me and my teeth chatter together. _Come on, please, anyone. Gabriel, Ellen, Sammy._

Gabriel’s voice sounds next to me seconds later, calm but with an undercurrent of anger. “Put Dean down, you overcontrolling asshole.”

His hands release me and I crumple on the ground, slowly rising to my feet.

Gabriel is glaring at Dad, fists clenched. “Back up.”

Dad raises an eyebrow. “Who the hell do you think you are, ordering me around, _boy_?”

Gabriel puffs himself up. “I’m _Cas’ big brother_ Gabriel, and _Sam and Dean’s friend_. And you can’t treat him like that. I’ve seen how happy they are together, and you’re not going to be that asshole who comes in and just ruins it all. Back the hell up and leave Dean _alone_.”

My mouth opens and my eyes widen. “Gabe, I—”

He glances at me. “Dean, don’t. You know Cas wouldn’t like seeing you treated like that.”

I close my mouth, looking warily between Gabriel and Dad. “Yeah, but he’s in the hospital right now.”

Dad smiles, a fierce pleasure in his eyes. “So your _precious boyfriend_ is in the hospital?”

“Thanks to an asshole named Raphael Finnerman, son of Donald Finnerman, yes.” I clench my fists. “And whether or not _you_ like it, I’m gonna make my own decisions and I’m gonna take damn good care of him. I’d kill Raphael for this if it wouldn’t ruin the court case his _other_ older brother Lucifer—a lawyer—is running against him.”

Dad seems to realize he’s outnumbered, taking a half-step back. “Doesn’t change that he’s _dying_ , does it?”

I flinch, gritting my teeth. “He’s _not dying_ , he’s too strong for that. Don’t jinx it.”

Dad’s eyes widen with delight. “You’re worried he _is_ dying! You’re shaking.”

I grind my teeth together, biting hard on my lip—hard enough to draw blood. “That shouldn’t make you happy, you sadistic asshole.”

“Ohhh, harsh words coming from a boy who loves a dying man.”

I close my eyes, shivers racking through me. _Don’t rise, it’s what he wants. Breathe._ “He’s not dying.”

“He’s not fine, he’s dying. And that’s exactly what you fear, losing him. Must be pretty special to twist you the way he has, not in a good way.”

I open my eyes to find a grin plastered to his face. _Damn it._ “Ellen!”

She pops out and her eyes widen. “Dean?”

“Can you lock him in the storage room, give him time to chill out?”

Ellen grabs his arm firmly, dragging him away.

I fall into a chair and the silent audience starts clapping. I drop my head in my hands, still shaking.

Gabriel touches my shoulder, kneeling down. “Dean, Cas has been asking for you for a while. Since _he’ll_ take a while anyway, you wanna go?”

I stand, rubbing my collar absently. “Yeah.”

I stride coolly out the door, letting it slam behind me. Gabriel falls into step with me, sighing. “I had Sam drop me by, will you give me a lift?”

I nod. “Yeah, it’s cool.”

We slide onto the bench-seated Impala, and I turn the keys and rev her a little, shutting my door and buckling my belt, biting my tongue to keep from exploding about Dad and backing up, skidding around and hitting the gas.

Gabriel sighs. “Must you go so fast?”

I shrug. “I like it and it helps me to relax. So, look, about Cas...”

Gabriel’s gaze drops to his hands. “I heard what you told your dad, about not changing your mind because of him. That was...both brave and idiotic. ...You _meant_ it, didn’t you?”

He looks at me from an angle, looking up through his eyebrows shyly. I nod with a shiver. “Yeah, I was serious. Cas is far more important that whatever the hell he thinks of it, of us. As much as I want him to come ‘round like your dad did...I don’t know if I could believe him if he said he understood. Your dad was genuine, he said he’d do anything to make it up. But mine...well, he’s not like that. Too busy getting drunk and hating me and trying to forget about...about Mom to really....”

I trail off and he nods, seeming to understand. “To come around, to apologize.”

I nod slowly, sighing. “It was worth a try. Maybe he’ll come around, maybe he won’t. Doesn’t change how I feel about Cas.”

He sighs, sinking against the seat. “He...normally like that? Shaking you, lifting you by your collar and all?”

I shiver, biting my lip and licking the blood away. “Yeah. _Alcoholic_ , homophobic, _abusive_ douche.”

Gabriel’s mouth twitches towards a smile. “Homophobic douche canoe?”

I grin, the tension snapping just like that. “Yep. An alcoholic, abusive, homophobic douche canoe.”

I pull in next to Gabriel’s truck and we get out, my longer stride slowing to match Gabriel.

He yawns. “So, um. Cas is awake, has been for about half an hour now.”

“Okay. And?”

Gabriel sighs. “And he’s been asking everyone about you. Worried as hell, especially when Sam told him you were gonna talk to your dad about...well, about the two of you.”

“About us, yeah.”

He shrugs. “His worrying wasn’t without cause.”

I raise an eyebrow. “I’m fine. Bit shaken up, but I’ll be okay.”

Gabriel chuckles. “He always like that?”

“Yep. You said ‘Sam and Dean’s friend’ when he...?”

I drift off and he ducks his head, blushing scarlet. “Shut up.”

“Hey, it’s cool. You _are_ my friend. Just never really said it aloud.”

His blush deepens and he elbows me. “Oh my god. Shut up.”

I grin, shoving him a little. “Stop blushing and being all embarrassed, man.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Not as simple as just _stopping_ , Dean.”

“Hey, you actually said my name.”

He sighs, blushing again. “I can say your name properly.”

I shrug. “I know. Just first time you have.”

He rolls his eyes as we wander inside.

Sam throws his arms around me. “Dean!”

I chuckle, shoving him off. “Heya, Sammy.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “So?”

I sigh, dropping my gaze. “No. He kinda exploded on me, like I figured.”

“He _threw_ Dean on the ground,” Gabriel supplies not-so-helpfully. “And yelled at him. And _dropped_ him on the ground. Doesn’t seem like a nice guy. Called him off and Ellen locked him in a room.”

Sam’s eyes widen. “ _He threw you on the ground?_ ”

I sigh, shooting Gabriel a glare. “Yeah, so? He did that daily, I’m used to it.”

I flinch, wincing. “Shit.”

Sam’s eyes widen further. “ _Daily?_ ”

I close my eyes. “Damn it, Gabriel. You just made me slip up. I’ve been avoiding this for so damn long. Yes, Sam, daily. Okay?”

Sam pulls me in for a hug. “Why didn’t you _tell_ me?”

I sigh. “One, I didn’t want to scare you. Two, you would’ve tried to stop him and gotten hurt. _And_ I didn’t want to mention it. Not really.”

Sam shakes his head, tickling me with his hair. “ _Tell me_ if that happens again.”

I sigh, promising, “Okay, I will.”

He releases me and I shake myself. “Cas okay?”

“Worried sick about you, but yeah.”

I nod. “Hasn’t moved, right?”

“Nah, same room.”

I nod, shoving past him and striding towards Cas’ room.

Cas’ dad steps in my way. “Dean.”

I raise an eyebrow, stopping. “What?”

He glances towards Gabriel. “Thank you. For what you said.”

I shrug. “Yeah, no prob.”

He pauses. “You okay? I heard about your dad.”

I close my eyes. “Not really. Threw me around and yelled at me, as per frickin’ usual.”

There’s a silence. He touches my shoulder lightly, suggesting, “I could talk to him?”

I look up, surprised. “I don’t know if he’d talk to you.”

“Let me try.”

I chew on my lip, considering it. _Can’t really make things any worse._

I take a deep breath. “He’s at the Roadhouse. Local bar and grill. Ask for Ellen Harvelle—she’s like a mom to Cas, don’t piss her off—and ask for John Winchester. Tell her I sent you. She asks, you just wanna talk _privately_ to him. Don’t explain, she might stop you. Doesn’t like you, Cas told her about you, too. She’s Jo’s mom.”

He nods. “Okay. I’ll let you know what happens.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

He nods, lifting his hand off my shoulder and moving away.

Frozen for a moment, I take a deep breath and shake myself, continuing on to Cas’ room.


	14. Dad and Cas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tells Cas about his Dad and what happened and Cas comforts him. Cas and Dean both go to talk when he texts. Cas demands a bacon cheeseburger from Ellen and they all eat. Eli is all fatherly to both Dean and Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's perspective. This is a long one.

I shove the door open, slipping inside and sinking into a chair next to Cas.

Cas touches my shoulder with a gentle hand, and with that one gesture my shivers slow.

His fingers slide under my chin, tugging up my gaze. I let him, trying to still the shaking of my hands.

Our gazes meet, his head tilted and his eyebrows furrowed in concern. “You okay, Dean?”

I sigh, reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder lightly. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”

He gives me a knowing look, raising his eyebrows. “Really?”

I slide my hand down, slipping my fingers through his. “D-Dad.”

Cas’ eyes widen slightly. “What happened?”

I laugh weakly. “How do you know?”

Cas shakes his head. “Dean, _you’re shaking_. Hell, your _voice_ is shaking. Something’s seriously wrong. Are you okay? Honestly okay?”

I shake my head. “No.”

My voice breaks and I drop my head, sighing. “No, I’m not.”

Cas tugs on my hand and I move knowingly from the chair up next to him on the bed.

He wraps his arms around me, warm and comforting.

I wrap my arms around him, burying my head in his shoulder and letting the shivers rack through me unchecked.

For several minutes, we stay locked together like that, my shivers eventually dying out and the tears— _when did that start?_ —slowly drying up.

I finally fall limp, my breathing slowing from shaky sobs to a more natural rate.

Cas runs his fingers over my hair. “That bad, huh?”

I laugh shakily, shrugging weakly. “You could say that.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Hope?”

I sigh. “Yeah, I guess there was a little.”

Cas’ silence is enough of a prompt for me to know he’s waiting patiently for me to explain.

I lift my head, straining a weak smile. He grins back, lifting one of his hands to dry my tears and slipping the fingers of his other hand through mine.

I close my hand on his, taking a deep breath. “What did Sam tell you?”

“You went to talk to your Dad at the Roadhouse.”

I nod slowly, shivering. “Yeah. Dad is...as Gabriel put it, ‘an alcoholic, abusive, homophobic douche canoe’.”

Cas laughs quietly, raising an eyebrow. “What happened?”

I close my eyes, swallowing. “I called him, told him to get his ass sobered up and then come down.”

“He was drunk?”

“Yeah, badly. Slurring and hiccupping and all.” A smile pulls at my mouth. “Usually is.”

Cas nods. “Was he drunk when he got to the Roadhouse?”

I shake my head. “No, but that’s the problem.”

Cas squeezes my hand. I force myself to continue, needing to get it out of my system. “So, I started with the basic facts: being bi, liking _both_ guys and girls.”

Cas prompts gently, “He threw a shit fit?”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Worse than that. Tried to process it then asked if that was all—I said no. He sat back down, asked ‘what the hell is so important?’. So I just said ‘Cas.’ Caught him off guard temporarily.”

Cas smiles just a little. “Awww.”

I smile shyly, opening my eyes. “He asked who the hell you were and I said ‘my boyfriend’. And, just like I figured, he exploded. Shot to his feet, shaking. Told me to repeat it. I did, he said ‘who the hell do you think you are’. I said I’m my own person, and ‘I love Cas, whether _you_ like that or not. I don’t need your approval. But I figured since his dad just walked back in his life and offered to walk him down the aisle, I might as well tell you.’”

Cas smiles, squeezing my hand. I smile back, forcing myself to continue. _It’s easier to keep going once I’ve started._ “So he kinda explodes worse. Picks me up by my collar, spits in my face. He’s damn strong when he’s sober. When he’s drunk, I can break his grip. He threw me to the ground and started to walk away.”

Cas’ mouth opens and his eyes widen. “He did _what_?”

I shiver. “He did that a lot while Sam and I were growing up, I’m used to it. I meant it when I said he’s abusive. So I got up and stopped him, said it again.”

A small smile crawls across my face. “Told him ‘I love him, and that’s that. Nothing you say or do can change that.’ and he comes stalking closer, spits, ‘oh?’.”

Cas blushes, ducking his head. I smile nervously, squeezing his hand.

I take a deep breath, continuing, “So I said, ‘I wouldn’t’ve even called if I didn’t feel it was necessary for you to know, but that doesn’t mean I’ll change my mind because you tell me to.’ He...”

I pause, shivering. “He picks me up and shakes me. Calls me a defiant little shit. I told him, ‘This is a big thing, and you deserve to know even if you don’t like it.’ He shakes me again, and then Gabe is all ‘Put Dean down, you overcontrolling asshole.’ Pretty brave of him, he witnessed the whole thing. He drops me and asks who he thinks he is as I’m getting back to my feet. Says ‘I’m _Cas’ big brother_ Gabriel, and _Sam and Dean’s friend_. And you can’t treat him like that. I’ve seen how happy they are together, and you’re not going to be that asshole who comes in and just ruins it all. Back the hell up and leave Dean _alone_.’”

Cas blushes scarlet, a smile tugging on his lips. “Awww, Gabe.”

I smile slightly. “Yeah. So he says to me ‘You know Cas wouldn’t like seeing you treated like that.’ I tell him I know, and you being...here, it comes up. Dad spits, ‘So your _precious boyfriend_ is in the hospital?’”

Cas scoffs. “What an ass.”

“I know, right? So I said, ‘Thanks to an asshole named Raphael Finnerman, son of Donald Finnerman, yes. And whether or not _you_ like it, I’m gonna make my own decisions and I’m gonna take damn good care of him. I’d kill Raphael for this if it wouldn’t ruin the court case his _other_ older brother Lucifer—a lawyer—is running against him.’ Dad takes, like, half a step back and says, ‘Doesn’t change that he’s _dying_ , does it?’”

Cas sucks in a breath. “What the hell...?”

I shiver. “He just found a button and wanted to press it. That’s what he does, it makes him feel powerful or some shit. It’s stupid and childish. I said you’re too strong to be dying, and he counters, ‘You’re worried he _is_ dying! You’re shaking.’ I mean, yeah, I was, but out of frustration and anger. He didn’t get that. So I just said, ‘That shouldn’t make you happy, you sadistic asshole.’ He laughs, says, ‘Ohhh, harsh words coming from a boy who loves a dying man.’ I said you’re not dying. He just laughs, ‘He’s not fine, he’s dying. And that’s exactly what you fear, losing him. Must be pretty special to twist you the way he has, not in a good way.’ So I just kinda snapped and yelled for Ellen. She dragged him off and locked him up in one of her rooms.”

There’s a pause. Cas’ eyes are wide and his mouth is slightly open.

I take a deep breath, shivering. “He did accidentally get some things right. Hell, yeah, I’m worried. I don’t want to lose you. You _are_ special. You’re amazing. You’re precious, in a way he no longer understands. But he’s just being a stubborn asshole right now.”

Cas shakes his head, a slow and shy smile spreading across his face like sunshine coming out from behind a mountain. “You defended me against your own dad?”

I shrug. “Yeah. Just cause he’s my dad doesn’t mean he isn’t an asshole. An alcoholic, abusive, homophobic asshole. You’re more important than he is.”

His eyes widen innocently, a trace of surprise crossing his face as he whispers, “But he’s...he’s your _dad_ , Dean.”

I look up from my hands, tilting my head. “Doesn’t change that he abused me, would’ve abused Sam if I hadn’t’ve gotten in the way, and hates me for who I am.”

Cas shivers, shaking his head. “I can’t even begin to imagine that.”

I shrug, brushing my thumb back and forth over his hand. “That’s just my life. I haven’t even told Sam about it, really. I accidentally let it slip when I was arguing with your dad, called him abusive. Sam caught that, his eyes widened. He’s not an idiot. Gabriel told him Dad threw me on the ground and I let slip that that was a daily occurrence. There’s holes, cracks in my resolve now. I can’t really keep it hidden from him anymore.”

Cas shivers again. “But he’s your brother.”

“Yeah, my younger brother. So? I’d rather not tell him, but the slip ups are getting to be enough that I don’t have much of a choice anymore.”

Cas shakes his head. “He’ll come around?”

I pause. “Your dad.”

Cas blinks. “What?”

I shake my head. “I let slip to him what happened and he said he’d talk to him, try and convince him it’s okay. I don’t know, there’s just a little hope left. He was all fatherly over it, which...for me, that’s not even a thing. It doesn’t _exist_. A father, a loving and caring father. A mother. I don’t know if he can make a difference.”

“He might be able to. There’s some similarities, except Dad’s religious and not an abusive alcoholic.”

I sigh. “Kinda hope so. I don’t know. Every chance I give him, he lets me down. I don’t know if I can trust him anymore, even a little.”

Cas shakes his head. “Just one more chance?”

I shrug uneasily. “Maybe. Depends on what he does. It’s really up to him at this point.”

My phone pings and I pull it out, my hand freezing. “Speak of the devil, oh my god.”

Cas grins. “Lucifer?”

I shake my head. “No, Dad.”

His eyebrows disappear up in his hair. “What?”

I shake my head, unlocking it with shaking fingers. “ _Meet at the Roadhouse back room, half an hour._ Holy Hell.”

Cas sighs, shaking his head. “I’m coming with you.”

I blink, looking up. “ _What?_ ”

Cas grins. “Whether I have to walk or you carry me, I’m coming with you. This place is damn boring and I’m not getting any better anyway. I need some fresh air in my system.”

I sigh, shaking my head. “You little shit.”

Cas wraps his arms around me. “I love you.”

I shake my head, embracing him gently. “I know, _I_ love _you_. That’s the problem. You ask, it’s _damn_ hard not to, Cas.”

He laughs, pulling me in for a kiss. My resolve crumbles in seconds, my eyes closing and the last of my broken hope washes away. _Damn it, Cas._

He seems to be well aware of the effect, pulling away and grinning at me. I’m grinning back before I can catch myself. “Damn it, Cas.”

He laughs, ruffling my hair. “I’m coming, like it or not.”

Gabriel peeks in. “Dad says you need to talk?”

I grin, glancing at him. “Yeah. Um, can you do something real quick so I can take Cas with? We have a...certain place to go. He needs fresh air. Walk in the park?”

Gabriel rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I’m on it. You better keep him safe. Oh, and Cas, Lucy said he’s gathered up the stuff for the court case. You’re all set, once you’re healed enough to move.”

“Okay.”

Gabriel disappears and I slide my arms under him, one under his back and one under his legs. Luckily, the IV tubes and blood tubes are already gone.

I lift him gently off the bed, steadying myself and adjusting my grip as necessary before slipping out of the room, edging out sideways so Cas is safe.

Sam’s eyes widen as they land on me. “ _Dean!_ ”

I shrug, grinning. “He insisted.”

Cas shoots him a grin. “Hey, I need fresh air, too. This place is suffocating me.”

His dad’s eyes meet his and Cas’ grin widens. “Hey, Dad.”

Eli shakes his head. “ _Cas_...”

Cas giggles as I stop next to him. “Fresh air, Dad. And time with Dean.”

Eli rolls his eyes, sighing. “Dean, did your dad text you?”

I nod slowly. “Yeah, he said back room of the Roadhouse. Why?”

He grins. “Because that’s where we’re gonna go.”

We wander outside and Cas takes a deep breath, barely wincing. “Air!”

We all laugh.

I lead the way to the Impala, sticking the key in the lock and turning it smoothly, like butter.

I pull the seat up, gesturing. “You in the back. Cas gets shotgun.”

Cas giggles. “Okay, I call shotgun. Dad, in the back.”

He shakes his head, smiling, and slips in. I push the seat back up, lowering Cas down and buckling him in.

I shut the door and make my way over, dropping in the drivers’ side and buckling in. I stick the key carefully in, turning. Baby roars to life, purring happily.

We pull smoothly out, and I drive more carefully than usual. Cas grins the whole way, eyes closed.

I left my Metallica in, and we listen to a full album by the time we get to the Roadhouse.

Cas’ eyes open almost as if he knows, eyes alight with interest. “What’s he look like?”

I consider that. “Um. Tall? Shorter than Sam and I. Grey, short hair. Hazel eyes. Sam got Dad’s eyes and otherwise took after Mom. I’m opposite.”

“So your mom had green eyes?”

I nod, pulling into my reserved spot and cutting the engine. “Yep.”

Eli flinches. “Had?”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “She died when I was four. Sam was six months old. Some crazy guy claiming to be doing the work of angels. Lit her on fire, burned the house up.”

Cas flinches just barely. Eli gasps quietly. “Burned alive?”

“Yeah. I can still hear the screams,” I murmur quietly, shaking my head. “Damn maniac. Lost Dad, too, that night. What was left was just raw hurt and he went tracking the guy down and drinking so much he became an alcoholic. I don’t exactly have a _dad_ anymore, just...a husk of one. Still remember it. November 2 nd, 1983.”

I shiver, pushing the door open and shutting it. I zip around to Cas’ side and unbuckle him, lifting him in my arms and pulling the seat forward. Eli slips out and I push the seat back with a _snick_.

I shut the door with my foot, praying an apology to my car and moving towards the Roadhouse slowly and carefully.

I pause. “Oh, did you tell her you’re Cas’ dad?”

Eli laughs. “Yeah, she was fuming but since you sent me she let me talk to him.”

I roll my eyes. “Ellen, oh my god.”

I poke the door open with my foot, sliding inside. Cas’ eyes light up in recognition, a smile spreading across his face. “The Roadhouse. Smells like burgers.”

“I can get you a burger once this is over.”

Cas giggles. “Okay.”

Ellen comes running out, touching Cas’ forehead. “Cas!”

Cas grins at her, lifting a hand to half-hug her. “Hi.”

She grins, kissing his cheek. “How are you?”

“Good. Think you can save me a bacon cheeseburger?”

Ellen laughs. “Of course.”

Her gaze lifts to me and a frown darkens her face. “He’s in the back.”

I nod, biting my lip. “He mad?”

Ellen shakes her head. “Not currently. He was fuming for a while until he talked to him.”

Ellen jerks a thumb at Eli. Eli ducks his head, blushing scarlet. “Eli.”

“Eli,” Ellen acknowledges, returning her gaze to me. “Try and make it quick. I don’t really like having him here.”

I shrug. “I don’t like talking to him, you saw why. If Gabriel wasn’t there, you would’ve walked out to quite a scene. Lucky he was.”

Ellen nods, smiling. “Do tell him he’s more than welcome to return.”

I grin. “Of course.”

I make my way to the back room, abandoning Eli to Ellen.

I slip inside, shutting the door behind me with a snap.

Dad looks up, his eyes widening.

Cas tilts his head, studying him curiously . “Hi.”

Dad blinks, frowning at me. “Hi.”

I grin, setting Cas down on the couch and flopping down next to him. “Hey, Dad.”

Dad fidgets in his chair, frowning. “Dean...?”

I laugh bitterly, gesturing. “Dad, this is Cas. Cas, that’s my dad.”

Cas inclines his head politely, eyes alight with interest. “Hi, John.”

Dad flinches, raising an eyebrow at me before answering, “Hey, Cas.”

I cross my arms. “What do you want?”

Cas edges closer to me, slipping his fingers between mine. I close my hand on his, glancing at him.

Dad shivers, eyes narrowing slightly on the contact. “I take it Ellen gave you a time limit?”

I shake my head. “She wants you out as soon as possible, yes, but no time limit. You texted me, what do you want?”

Dad glances at Cas, raising an eyebrow at me. “Whatever it is, you can say it in front of Cas. He’s my boyfriend.”

Cas laughs, grinning at me. “Who haven’t you told?”

I roll my eyes. “I don’t know. Raphael, technically. Never told him a thing. Most of the people at school with you.”

Cas blushes, ducking his head. “Well, people are bound to notice when you kiss me in front of a whole stadium full of people, Dean.”

I grin, draping my free arm around him. “Yeah, I know.”

Dad sighs. “So you’re Eli’s son?”

Cas looks up, nodding. “Yep. Homophobic asshole until just, like...wait, a few hours ago?”

I raise an eyebrow. “I think so, yeah. So much has changed since then. I mean, he did offer to be at the wedding, so...damn. It was just about....six, seven hours?”

Dad’s mouth opens. “What wedding?”

I laugh, ruffling Cas’ hair. “Well, um. He said he’d walk Cas down the aisle to marry whoever he wants, and he looked at me. Eli’s got about a year left, he doesn’t have long to live.”

Cas blushes scarlet. “Well, yeah, because I love you.”

I grin, pecking his cheek. “I know, Cas. I love you, too. First person I’ve ever considered actually settling down with—and I’ve had a lot of people over the years.”

Cas’ blush deepens and he grins. “Awww...Dean, that’s so sweet.”

My grin widens. “Shut up.”

“Make me.”

There’s a moment of silence as Dad processes what just happened. “Did you just propose to him?”

I blink, ducking my head. “Not yet.”

Dad sucks in a breath. “ _Yet?_ ”

“Yeah, well...I am _planning_ to, but...”

I blush scarlet, glancing shyly at Cas. He’s got a huge grin on his face and a deep red blush.

Cas swallows, grinning. “Wait, what?”

I grin nervously at him. “Shut up.”

Cas pulls me in for a kiss, right in front of Dad. Despite the knowledge that Dad is probably watching with wide eyes, my eyes close and I grin into the kiss, nipping his lip and stealing away his breath. _This, right here. That’s all I want, forever and ever. That’s why Cas is mine._

Cas slowly pulls away, both of us breathless and with huge grins on our faces. “Make me.”

I shake my head, laughing breathlessly. “That right there, that’s exactly why I love you. You make the best of the weirdest situations.”

Cas giggles, leaning against me. I drape my arm back around him, glancing at Dad. Just like I predicted, his eyes and mouth are open wide in surprise.

We settle back down.

“I want my burger,” Cas complains suddenly.

I laugh, nudging him. “Now?”

He nods. “Good for my mental health. Carry me?”

I shake my head, scooping him up. “Be back, Dad. Cas needs his burger.”

I edge out, breathing a sigh of relief as the door shuts behind us.

Cas grins. “I think he likes me.”

I shake my head. “I think he won’t talk because he doesn't like you. Who knows why, you’re the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Cas giggles. “Really?”

I grin at him. “Yep.”

I walk to Ellen, grinning. “I think we grossed him out, Cas kissed me. You got a burger? Cas wants one.”

Ellen disappears into the back. Eli chuckles, grinning at us. “Did you really just kiss?”

I grin. “Yep. Dad’s mouth was open and his eyes wide. Pretty funny.”

Ellen pops out with three full plates of food. “Eat. Find yourself a booth.”

I carry Cas to our usual booth, setting him down and sitting next to him.

Eli sits and Ellen drops a plate in front of everyone. Fries, bacon cheeseburgers, and a soda for Cas and I.

Ellen eyes Eli. “Do you want a drink?”

Eli shrugs. “Do you have Sprite?”

“Yep.”

Ellen vanishes, returning with another soda and dropping it in front of Eli. “There. Now eat. Dean, go back there when you’re ready to.”

I grin at her. “Thanks, Ellen.”

She nods. “Don't mention it.”

Ellen disappears again.

I grin at Cas, my hand finding his under the table. He grins back, hand closing on mine.

We eat in relative silence. Finally I murmur, “This place is my home more than most places. Roadhouse is where I was dumped, or the mechanic shop with Bobby, when Dad took off. Grew up in this place.”

Cas falls against me, eyes closed. “Feels more like home than most places. Small, loud, homey.”

There’s an awkward pause as Eli drops his gaze.

Cas sighs. “Do you have to talk to him?”

I shrug. “No, but he’s my dad. You know how that feels.”

There’s another awkward pause as Cas glances at Eli, his gaze softening with his voice. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. But I don’t like him. He’s judgmental.”

“Always has been. But that can change. Maybe.”

Cas’ eyes twinkle up at me. “Hope.”

I duck my head, grinning. “Shut up.”

Eli tilts his head slightly. “You should’ve heard him. He started crying when I brought up Nicole.”

“Reminded him of Mom, probably.” I shrug, brushing my thumb back and forth over Cas’ side. “Everything does nowadays. I don’t know. I don’t want to talk to him, not to be let down again. I’ve given him, like, five chances and he blew it every time. I hate it.”

Eli shivers, and Cas glances at him curiously, murmuring, “One last chance can’t hurt?”

It’s almost a question. Eli smiles, just a little. “That’s something you’re still learning about being a parent, Dean. You may have raised Sam, but you didn’t go through what he did and maybe you don’t understand it...but he wants to talk to you, to have one last chance. It’s your choice now.”

I wince, murmuring, “Sam wants to talk about him. It’s damn hard to keep things from him.”

Eli looks up. “Exactly. That’s what it’s like—you can’t keep things from them, you can’t hide past wrongs or hurts. And that’s something he’s still trying to understand.”

I blink and Cas looks up, mouth open in surprise. Cas’ wide eyes are locked on him, searching for something.

I shake my head. “Are you saying _you_...?”

He ducks his head, biting his lip. “Maybe I didn’t _abuse_ my children, maybe I didn’t drink like he did, but I do have my faults. Everyone does. And old habits die really hard.”

Cas shivers against me, his head tilting a little. I glance at him, kissing the top of his head. He smiles up at me, a twinkle in his eye.

I close my eyes, sighing. _If he messes this up..._ “Five minutes.”

Eli shrugs. “If you want to impose a time limit, that’s up to you.”

I slowly stand, keeping a hand on Cas’ shoulder.

Eli moves around the table, sliding a supporting arm around him. I lift my hand, surprised.

Cas glances at him, eyes wide. For a second, their eyes meet and Cas is frozen in surprise. Then Cas adjusts, falling against him and closing his eyes. A soft smile touches Eli’s face, crinkling his eyes, and for once I believe it’s genuine.


	15. Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean talks to his Dad. They hug. A bunch of sappy shit but it fits the situation. Dean is pretty surprised. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still Dean's perspective. It's gonna be Cas next. Lots of Dean, but with his dad it kinda has to be him. XD

I take half a step, pausing to steel myself. _Breathe. Okay. Come on, you’ve got this. It’s okay._

I take a deep breath and move towards the room, forcing one foot ahead of the other. _Come on, three more. Two. One. There._

I stop, lifting my hand and pushing open the door, slipping inside. I lean against the door, eyes falling on him.

He looks up, blinking. “Cas?”

“He’s with his dad.”

I clear my throat to cover up the break in my voice, swallowing. “So, what do you want?”

Dad ducks his head, sighing. “Look, Eli talked to me about...all this.”

I raise an eyebrow. “About this?”

“About you and Cas and...he mentioned Mary, too. And he’s right. She wouldn’t care about you being bi. She wouldn’t treat you like that over this.”

I wince, moving over to sit on the arm of the couch. “It’s...it’s not a _lifestyle choice_ , it’s who I am. That’s how Cas put it to his dad, and it’s true for both of us.”

Dad closes his eyes. “I know.”

I shiver involuntarily. “Then why did you...?”

I leave the question open, hanging in the air. He knows what I mean.

He swallows. “Because I don’t want to lose you like I lost Mary.”

“And your sanity.”

He raises an eyebrow, just a little. “And that.”

I close my eyes. “How do I know I can trust you? After all the chances I gave you, all the times I let you back in? You just let me down every damn time, Dad. How am I supposed to believe you won’t do it again?”

He takes a deep breath and his voice cracks as he whispers, “You don’t.”

I blink, surprised. “What?”

“You don’t have to trust me, or believe in me. I’ve messed that up too many times.”

My mouth opens on its own, surprise rippling through me. “But I—but....what?”

He looks up, tears sheening his eyes. “You heard me, son. You’re not deaf.”

I suck in a quick breath, flinching.

A small smile pulls at his lips as he studies me. “You’ve been far stronger than I ever gave you credit for, far more patient than I deserve. You’re a damn good kid. Maybe Sam takes after...after Mary physically, but you take after her in strength and patience and concern and love. Sam is all soft and mushy and sweet, but you’re strong and loving and compassionate and...and that’s far more than I could’ve expected of you.”

My mouth goes dry. He continues, “If...if you really want me there, I’ll be there. There for you, for Sam. There at the wedding, there at Sam’s last day before college.”

If I hadn’t been sitting, I would’ve fallen down. “Wait, what?”

He closes his eyes. “If you want me there, I’ll be there.”

I blink quickly, trying to process what he just said. “I-I... _what?_ ”

He stays silent, eyes closed. I shake my head. “Of course I want you there, you’re my _dad_ , you’re _our_ dad, but...”

Dad laughs quietly, a weak and somewhat relieved laugh. “But what?”

I swallow. “Where the hell did all that come from?”

Dad laughs, a small gleam in his eye and a tiny smile curling his lips. “It’s always been there, I just haven’t said it.”

I slowly rise to my feet, grabbing his wrist and pulling him up into a tight hug.

“No chick flick moments,” he teases, wrapping his arms around me.

I laugh shakily. “Jerk.”

“Bitch,” he answers lightly, his fists clenched tight and holding fistfuls of my shirt.

I grin, eyes closed. _This is what I missed. This is what I was hoping for. Light teases, small gestures. Damn I’m getting all sentimental._

I finally release him, a soft smile playing on my lips. “You might wanna get out fast. The people who saw all that earlier are mostly still here.”

He nods, ruffling my hair. “I’ve missed you.”

“Yeah, I missed you, too.”

Dad finally releases me, pausing at the door. “Oh, and Dean?”

“Yeah, Dad?”

He grins. “Don’t _ever_ kiss like that in front of me again, unless it’s at your damn wedding.”

I laugh. “Okay, okay.”

He slips out and my smile slips, the shock slamming into me.

I wait for the shock to wash through me and fade before slipping out.


	16. Dean and John

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas' perspective, when Dean leaves the room. He has to pull some guys off his dad and he basically threatens them. Carries Cas to the car. Cas falls asleep while he's singing "Back in Black" by ACDC. I don't own the song, but it's so Dean to sing it. Fluff. Short, but cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' perspective! Cas falls asleep while Dean is singing along to "Back in Black" by ACDC. I do not own the song or the band or any of that, but I think it's fitting.

Dad runs his fingers through my hair. “You tired?”

I giggle. “No. Kinda hurts a little, my ribs, but the Roadhouse smells great.”

Dad pauses, eyes angled off into the distance.

I look up, following his gaze. A haggard and shaking Dean is making his way across the room towards us, and he pulls some guys off of his dad and shoves him towards the door with a wave. He shoves the guys back, growling something at them, and they scramble away.

Dean makes his way through the room, looking ready to collapse. “Hey.”

I frown. “You okay?”

Dean strains a smile. “I’m fine.”

Dad stands, picking me up and offering me to Dean. Dean grins, sliding his hands under me and holding me close, pecking me on the lips. “Hey.”

I grin, heat flooding my cheeks. “You’re warm.”

Dean chuckles, kissing my forehead. “I’m damn tired. Come on.”

He jerks his head and we make our way out. I feel like I’m gliding with the careful way Dean holds me. Never once do I bounce or jerk around, just smoothly gliding through the crowd.

I toss a wave and a grin to Ellen, curling against Dean and closing my eyes.

Dean edges out the door and lifts a hand to wave. “Later!”

“Your dad?”

Dean pauses. “Yep. He brought his ratty old truck. Bobby and I’ll patch it up. But Bobby hates him, so I’ll say it’s for a friend.”

I chuckle. “He was nice?”

“Yeah. Started crying. Never seen him like that.”

Dad shrugs. “That’s how he was when I talked to him.”

Dean scoffs. “He’s normally an angry asshole all the time. Not some sobbing guy saying ‘I’ll be there for you’ and other sappy shit.”

We all laugh and the next thing I know, Dean is setting me down in the Impala and shutting the door.

The car revs and spins and Dean blasts his music again. For some reason, listening to his sing along to “Back in Black” by ACDC lulls me to sleep, comfortable and happy.


	17. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone beats his car up and pisses him off (angry old lady ha ha Dean XD). Dean falls asleep in his Dad's arms. John says hi to Sammy, is introduced to Lucifer and Michael. Gabriel is an ass. (He's the one who stopped John from hurting Dean worse than he already had, he doesn't trust him.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Dean's perspective.

Cas’ head falls on his shoulder as he drops to sleep. I grin, twisting the wheel hard to skid into the parking lot.

Eli jumps, hissing, “Do you have to drive like that?”

I grin at him in the mirror. “Yup. It’s a moral obligation. Nah, I just like to. It’s fun.”

Eli shakes his head, scowling. “You are a _terrible_ driver.”

“Tell that to my sleeping boyfriend, eh?”

Eli sighs. “You’re reckless.”

“Why, yes I am. Thanks for noticing.” I flash him a grin, sliding into my spot just before a smaller car tries to pull in and hitting park. The car honks, pulling in next to me.

This old woman gets out, swinging her crutches at me. I grin, getting out and making my way to Cas. “Not listening, Grandma, my boyfriend’s ribs are broken. Deal with it, this is my spot. His brothers’ car is right there.”

I scoop up Cas, pulling the seat forward. “Come on, Eli.”

Eli gets out, pushing the seat back and shutting the door.

“Woah, be careful with my Baby. You’re gonna break her. Come on.”

Ignoring the still-screaming old lady, I make my way towards the door. Then I hear a crack and turn. “She’s beat on my baby? Oh, you’ve gone too far.”

Cas mumbles, “Leave it.”

I shake my head. “No, sweetheart, that’s my ride. Here, Eli, get him to Gabe. I’ll handle this little old lady.”

Eli scoops him up, uncertain. I make my way back, yanking her away from my car angrily. “Stay away from my car, you crazy bat. That’s my dad’s classic.”

“Don’t go stealing my spot!”

I roll my eyes. “You crazy old bitch, I _reserved that spot_. It’s my damn spot. I’m so not in the damn mood. You wouldn’t be if your boyfriend got beat to shit for being homo. Goddamn, I hate that asshole. Calm the fuck down.”

She screeches, “Grow the fuck up!”

I sigh, lowering my voice. “Look, I’ve had a damn long day. My dad hit me and threw me on the ground, my boyfriend got his ass beat, my boyfriend’s brother is furious with me, and my baby brother who I’ve raised for most of his damn life is in that building. Leave my car alone.”

She stops struggling, panting. “That’s no damn excuse to be an impatient ass!”

I roll my eyes, sighing. “I’m not. I normally drive like that cause it’s fun, but now it’s necessary so Cas doesn’t get hurt worse. Just leave my damn baby alone, and we can go our separate ways.”

“Fine,” she spits, tugging her arm out of my grasp and hobbling away.

I touch the spot she hit. Baby’s paint is scratched. I pull the can of paint out of the back, patching her up carefully and drying it with a paint torch, resealing it and locking the car up, patting her gently. “Sorry, Baby, it’s been a rough day for both of us.”

I sigh, drained. I make my way inside. Gabriel looks up, eyes wide. “I heard someone was beating up your car?”

I pause. “Yeah, it’s fine. I patched the paint that she scratched, don’t worry about it.”

Eli passes Cas to me and I make my way back to his room, laying him down gently and pulling the blankets over him. He’s already fallen asleep again.

I slip out, shutting the door.

Gabriel stops me, a hand on my arm. “Your dad?”

I swallow. “It’s fine, we talked it out.”

He frowns. “You don’t look fine.”

I roll my eyes, saying forcefully, “I’m _fine_.”

Gabriel shakes his head. “You’re exhausted. Get some sleep.”

I shake my head quickly. “No.”

He pulls me to the edge of the waiting room, pointing to Sam. “Either you tell him about your dad, or you get some damn sleep. Damn it, Dean, take care of yourself.”

I let myself sag a little against him, sighing. “I can’t sleep, it’s not that I don’t want to. Too much has gone on in one day. I can’t. I can’t calm down, I can’t relax enough.”

“Make Sam sing you a lullaby.”

I roll my eyes, scoffing. “Like that’ll help.”

He drags me to Sam, shoving me to him. “Sam, Dean’s refusing to sleep. Can you help?”

Sam catches me, eyes wide. “Damn, Dean, you’re shaking. Are you okay?”

I shake my head, sinking down in a chair next to him. “No, hell no.”

Eli puts a hand on my shoulder, kneeling in front of me. “Dean, you need to sleep. You’re not only physically tired, you’re mentally and emotionally drained. Get some sleep, kiddo, you need it.”

My resolve slips a little and I shake my head. My voice breaks as I insist, “I _can’t_. I can’t calm down, I can’t relax, I can’t sleep. Too much has happened all in one day.”

Lucifer kneels down, stating logically, “Dean, if you don’t get some sleep you’ll be dragging ass tomorrow. Do you think Cas would like that? Just _breathe_ , relax, let yourself drift. You’ll be out in no time.”

I close my eyes, sighing. _He’s right, but..._

I hear Dad’s voice above me. “Hey, he’s my son.”

I look up, blinking. Dad is kneeling next to me, hand on my knee. “You okay, Dean?”

Sam’s wide eyes are only matched by everyone else’s. Only Eli doesn’t look shocked.

Finally, Sam whispers brokenly, “Dad?”

Dad looks up, smiling softly. “Hey, Sammy.”

Sam wraps his arms around Dad tightly. “Dad.”

Dad hugs Sam back, kissing his cheek. “You’re damn tall, son.”

Sam laughs. “Yeah, I’m taller than almost everyone.”

Lucifer glances between my exhausted interest and Dad’s smile, brow furrowed. “Dean?”

I grin tiredly. “It’s okay, Lucifer. Dad.”

Dad releases Sam, gaze returning to me. I jerk my thumb. “Meet the legal team. That’s Lucifer Novak, Cas’ other big brother.”

They stand, and Lucifer offers his hand, saying coolly, “I’ve heard a lot about you, Mr. Winchester.”

“John, please.” Dad shakes his hand politely, taking in his stark ensemble. “I’ve heard you’re really good.”

Lucifer chuckles. “Probably exaggerated. Gabriel does love to be dramatic.”

He nods to Gabriel and Dad visibly winces, taking in Gabriel’s stiff stance.

Lucifer notices that, waving Michael over. Michael smiles shyly, frowning at Gabriel’s obvious dislike. “Hi.”

Dad offers a hand. “John. I’m Dean’s father.”

Michael’s eyes widen a little and he seems to understand Gabriel’s stiff stance, accepting his hand politely. “Michael Novak. I’m Cas’ oldest brother.”

Lightly, Dad jokes, “How many of you does he have?”

“Fifty,” I tease. “Nah, he’s got three big brothers and a big sister, Anna. Haven’t seen her around.”

Lucifer winces. “Anna is...indisposed. She was inclined to believe it’s best to stay away from all this.”

Dad nods, shrugging, “That’s her choice, I suppose.”

Gabriel crosses his arms in obvious dislike. “You again.”

Dad flinches. Michael and Lucifer frown at Gabriel, and even Eli looks surprised. _They don’t know._

I drag myself to my feet, putting a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “Gabriel, it’s fine. Don’t.”

He glances at me, then turns on his heel and stalks off.

I rub at my eyes, sighing. “Damn it.”

Sam frowns. “What’s his problem?”

Lucifer and Michael nod and Eli prompts, “With John?”

I rub at my eyes, shaking my head. “He, um...if it weren’t for him, well. Okay, so Ellen was out of sight at the Roadhouse. I met Dad, and told him everything.”

Dad fidgets, eyes staring at his feet.

I continue uneasily, “And he kinda exploded at me. Gabriel saw the whole thing, and he’s the one who stopped him. So...Gabriel doesn’t really like him.”

Dad winces and I raise an eyebrow, insisting, “We worked it out, but Gabriel is still... _strongly_ averse to being kind to him, after that.”

Eli shrugs, touching Dad’s shoulder lightly. “I did the same with Cas. It’s understandable in the spur of the moment, I’d say.”

Dad strains a half-smile. Eli wanders away.

Sam’s eyes are the size of saucers and Michael and Lucifer appear frozen.

I wrap my arms tightly around Dad, burying my face in his shoulder. Just like that, the tension snaps.

Dad wraps his arms around me, a soft smile playing on his lips. I close my eyes, slowing my breathing.

Everything goes black as I slump against him, finally exhausted enough to pass out.


	18. So Much Going On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot going on! Dean wakes up cradled in his dad's arms (cute!). Cas is finally up and about. They go to Bobby's shop and Ellen's house and Cas says hi to both. Then they go to Dean's and fall asleep. Sam is an impatient ass about the whole thing. They go to the courthouse. End of scene, since the court room has to be Cas' perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still Dean's perspective.
> 
> This is a long one, goes all the way to the court room. In the court will be Cas' perspective, since it's his case. And that way, it's easier to showcase how Dean feels about all the times he brought Cas to the hospital, since the anger/pain is written all over his face as he describes the situations as the sole witness. Talking about it, of course, makes Cas' family realize how bad it is and embarrasses the hell out of Cas. :) More fluff to come!
> 
> In texting, Sam is aligned left with the time dashed (i.e. "3:51PM-") whereas Dean is centered and with time in parentheses.(i.e. "(4:02PM)")

I wake up in Dad’s arms, cradled like I had held Cas. He’s leaning against a wall in the hallway next to Cas’ room, eyes closed in the silence.

Gabriel, Michael, and Lucifer are nowhere to be found. Sam is standing in front of us, hovering over me. “What did you _do_ to him? He was refusing to sleep, said he couldn’t. You hold him, and he just slumps over.”

“I don’t know,” Dad rumbles.

I cough, leaning into Dad with closed eyes so he doesn’t know how comfortable and content this makes me.

They both pause and Sam touches my forehead. “He’s never slept this long. It’s been, like, fifteen or sixteen hours. I wonder if he even slept at all recently. Maybe that’s why he was so exhausted.”

I mumble Cas’ name sleepily and Sam seems to know I’m awake instinctively, pulling hair off of my eyes. “I mean, like, Cas woke up after the usual twelve-ish hours. You think maybe Dean’s in a coma?”

“No,” Dad murmurs softly, kissing my forehead. “A lot’s been happening recently, it’s no wonder he’s pushed himself to his limit.”

I sigh quietly, reaching out and catching Sam’s shoulder. Sam shifts, taking my hand in his. “I think he’s waking up, however slowly. Dean?”

I cough again, shaking my head and trying in vain to open my eyes.

Sam’s hand brushes over my eyes. Like he spoke a magic word or something, my eyes flutter open.

I shake my head, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand to get rid the blurriness. “Wha’s the time?”

Sam laughs. “Hey, sleepyhead. It’s twelve thirty. Yes, in the afternoon.”

“Oh.”

Sam laughs again and Dad’s chest vibrates against me as he chuckles. “Hey, Dean.”

I lick my dry lips, leaning into him. “You’re damn warm.”

He laughs, nodding. “Everyone’s been saying there’s a conspiracy theory and I poisoned you.”

I roll my eyes. “Mmm. Damn long day, I hit my limit. Besides, you’re comfortable and warm.”

Dad kisses my forehead. “I figured, but Gabriel in particular didn’t believe me.”

“What an ass,” I mumble, wrapping my arms around him. “Where is he?”

“He ran away,” Sam answers. “Said he couldn’t stick around with Dad, quote-unquote, ‘darkening the halls in which my family and friends lie.’ Pretty dramatic.”

I sigh, digging my phone out of my pocket and dialing Gabriel. He picks up on the second ring, mumbling, “Wassup?”

“It’s Dean,” I grumble into the phone. “I heard you were an ass to my dad.”

He laughs. “I wouldn’t say _that_. Perfectly justified.”

I roll my eyes. “Once I’m actually ready to stand on my own feet without falling over, we need to talk. You’re such an ass. A dramatic one, but an ass nonetheless.”

“I know I’ve got a great ass.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Damn it, Gabriel, you damn jerk. I’m dating your brother, I’m not saying _that_. You’ve got a dirty mind. Now shut up and get your ass down here.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on my way.”

He hangs up and I pocket my phone, mocking, “‘I know I’ve got a great ass.’ Fucking dumbass.”

Sam shakes his head, grinning. “He’s like that.”

I shake my head, yawning. “Yep.”

Cas peeks out of his room, hair tousled adorably. “Dean!”

I grin, jumping out of Dad’s arms and pulling Cas into a hug. “You’re up.”

He grins, resting his ear against my chest. “Yep. Doctors said I’m fine to be up, might even be able to leave in a few hours. Our little outdoorsy excursion helped. They don’t have a scientific or medical explanation for it, but I’m a lot better. The bruising’s gone down and I’m mostly healed.”

A smile pulls up the corners of my mouth, relief washing through me. “That’s good.”

“Yep. You slept a long time.”

I laugh. “It was a damn long day and Dad’s really warm.”

“Mmm. You’re really warm.”

I grin, holding him close. _He was that close to being gone. And he’s okay._ “Always am.”

There’s a moment of silence before Gabriel calls down the hall, “Dean?”

I release Cas, kissing the top of his head. “Be right back, Cas.”

I dart down the hall, touching Dad’s shoulder as I pass.

Gabriel crosses his arms, leaning coolly against the corner in the hall. “What did you want to talk about?”

I lift my chin. “Stop being an ass to my dad. He apologized and explained, and he said if I want him to be there he will. I said I do, and _I do_. There for me, for Sam, there at Sam’s wedding and mine, there when Sammy goes to college. There for us. So chill the hell out, man. It’s cool.”

He rolls his eyes. “He threw you on the ground, he yelled at you, and _it’s cool_?”

I grit my teeth. “He told me it was wrong for him to act like that and that he was scared he’d lose me like he lost Mom. That’s enough for me, it’s more than he’s ever done.”

Gabriel pushes off the wall. “Fine.”

I raise an eyebrow. “They tell you Cas is up and about?”

Gabriel’s eyebrows shoot up. “What?”

“I take that as a no. He’s pretty healed now. They gave him a few hours for _observations_ but he’s okay.”

Gabriel grins. “Good. Now we can take Raphael down.”

I chuckle. “Yeah. Show that ass Donald Finnerman who’s boss.”

Gabriel wanders off and I come back up the hall, pulling Cas back into my arms. “Told him to stop being an ass.”

Cas wraps his arms around me, eyes closed. “Did he agree?”

“Didn’t have much of a choice, he’s _my_ dad, but yeah.”

Dad pushes off the wall, mussing Sam’s hair. “I’ll be back. Gonna go home. Oh, and Dean. Childhood home, where Mary...well, I moved back in and patched ‘er up. So if you wanna drop by, feel free.”

I grin. “Okay, Dad.”

He walks away and I tighten my grip on Cas, releasing him just enough to kiss him. He grins into the kiss, glowing with contentment. We slowly pull apart and he giggles. “I love you.”

I grin, kissing his forehead. “I know. And your morning hair is great, man.”

He laughs, punching my shoulder. “Shut up.”

“Nah, man, it’s damn adorable.” I grin, the most awake and aware I’ve ever been, in a _long_ time. “I’m serious.”

He pulls me in for a kiss and Sam clears his throat. “Ew, Dean, gross.”

I grin into the kiss, scooping him up. He wraps his legs around me for support, grinning into the kiss.

Sam huffs, shaking his head. “Oh my god, you fucking dork. Whatever. I’m gonna go find Lucifer or Gabriel.”

He stomps down the hall and Cas and I pull apart for a laugh. “What a nerd.”

I grin, shaking my head. “He’s just jealous.”

Sam gags and we laugh together. Cas leans down, kissing me again. The silence of the moment rings in my ears.

After a while we pull apart and I let him slide down to the floor with a grin.

He grins back. “Sam has the best reactions.”

“And you make the best of the moment. Perfect combo.”

Cas blushes crimson, laughing. “Shut up, you dork.”

Lucifer and Michael come down the hall. As is becoming the norm, Michael is on edge and constantly embarrassed and Lucifer is confident, striding forward with purpose.

Cas sucks in a breath and takes off running down the hall, right into Michael. Michael’s tension snaps with a laugh.

Cas throws his arms around Michael, laughing breathlessly.

I make my way in his wake, stopping next to Lucifer.

Lucifer raises an eyebrow. “Better enough to leave this foul place, little brother?”

Despite his harsh expression, his voice is soft and tentative. Cas grins at him, releasing Michael to throw his arms around Lucifer. “Yep.”

Michael smiles shyly at me, inclining his head. I debate the pros and cons before pulling him in for a hug.

His arms are in the air in surprise before wrapping around me lightly. “Dean, what...?”

I grin, touching my ear to the skin over his heart. His heart is racing. “Relax.”

“Dean, what the hell?”

I laugh. “I don’t know. Feeling awake for the first time in a long time.”

“I should hope so,” Cas teases. “I heard you slept about sixteen or seventeen hours.”

I roll my eyes. “I was damn tired. And now I’m more awake than I’ve been since I was four.”

Cas’ eyes meet mine, wide in understanding. “Dean...”

“Nah, it’s cool.”

Lucifer frowns. “What happened when you were four?”

I tighten my grip on Michael, turning my head to hide my face. “God, no.”

Cas sighs. “He lost his mom. Some madman, claiming to be doing the work of an angel, lit her on fire. As I understand, she burned alive and Dean never really got over it.”

I flinch. “Exactly. Still...still hear the screams.”

Michael’s arms tighten around me. Lucifer’s eyes widen.

I take a deep breath. “Dad lost his sanity that day. Tracked the asshole to a mental hospital. Then just started drinking more and more until he turned into the asshole I know.”

Cas shivers. “He didn’t really have a mom or a dad after that.”

“November 2nd, 1983. I was four and Sam was six months old. Burned the house down, I was the one who carried Sam out. I raised him after that, Dad wasn’t fit to be a parental guardian.”

There’s a shocked silence. Cas squeezes his eyes shut, tightening his embrace around Lucifer.

Gabriel swaggers down the hall. “Am I interrupting something? Oh, look, Dean-o’s hugging Mikey.”

Michael sighs. “Mike, if you must, Gabriel.”

I release him, glaring at Gabriel. “Go away, you ass.”

“What?” His eyes widen innocently. “What did I do?”

I cross my arms. “Even fully awake, I can’t stand you. Go away. I’m _so_ not in the mood for your shit right now.”

He gives me a mock-insulted look and struts away.

I shake my head. Cas releases Lucifer, leaning against the wall.

I pause, offering a hug shyly towards Lucifer. He shrugs, raising an eyebrow.

I grin, pulling him into a hug. He wraps his arms around me, shaking his head. “You’re certainly in a good mood today, Dean.”

I shrug. “Is that a bad thing?”

He yawns. “Not necessarily. Being an ass to Gabriel was uncalled for, but amusing nonetheless.”

I shake my head. “Nah, he’s getting payback for being an ass to my dad. And to me, come to think of it, but I don’t take things personally often.”

Lucifer scoffs. “Right.”

I release him to grin at him. “Hey, Raphael isn’t _personal_. I just hate the kid cause he bullies Sammy and he’s been a ‘homophobic douche canoe’ to Cas, too.”

“Note to self: never annoy or tease people Dean Winchester cares about. He will get payback.”

I grin, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, that’s true. You got a problem with that?”

Lucifer laughs. “No. I think Raphael needs a reminder, though.”

I laugh. “How’s the lawyer stuff going?”

“I’m all set to convince any judge, _persuaded_ and bribed or not. All records are at my fingertips, and I am perfectly capable to take him and all his affiliates down in court.”

Cas grins. “When do we start?”

Lucifer smiles back. “The moment they let you officially walk out of here. The longer, the better for the case.”

Cas laughs. “Okay.”

Sam comes back down the hall. “One, Gabe said you’re being an ass and he doesn’t know why. And two, they just gave Cas the all-clear. Someone saw him come running down the hall to, as they worded it, ‘greet family and friends’, so he’s free to leave.”

Cas’ eyes light up. “ _Yes!_ Finally.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Tell Gabe to recall what we discussed a little earlier.”

“Why the hell won’t you just _tell_ me?”

I yawn. “Dad, Sam. Duh.”

Sam rolls his eyes, disappearing around the corner.

I offer Cas my hand, and he slides his fingers through mine. We make our way up the hall together.

Michael and Lucifer disappear around the corner and I grin at Cas. “Ready to leave this place?”

“Hopefully for good, yes.”

We walk out together to cheers from the people in the waiting room. Everyone is smiling at us, even the bitch who chipped the paint on my car.

Cas ducks his head, blushing. Dad comes up— _wait, Eli, when the hell did he start being my dad?_—and ruffles Cas’ hair, grinning at us.

Gabriel glares at me from his seat next to Sam. We flood out with Cas’ family, with Sam and Jo.

Once we’re out in the parking lot, Gabriel pulls Cas in for a hug. He grins, hugging Gabriel and dropping my hand.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at me, and I grin. “Hey, Gabe.”

“Ass,” Gabriel replies lightly.

My grin widens. “Oh, shut up, you _did_ interrupt something.”

I glance at Sam. “About my mom. _Our_ mom.”

Sam’s eyes widen. “What?”

Lucifer and Michael glance at each other and Sam’s eyebrows shoot up. “You _told them?_ ”

“Yeah, so? Not like that’s a problem,” I insist. “Besides, Cas already knew.”

Sam shakes his head. “You never told anyone, not even me.”

“Stop playing the pronoun game,” Eli complains.

I look up at him. “Remember what I told you in the car, when we were gonna talk to my dad? November 2nd, 1983?”

His eyes widen. “ _Oh._ ”

Jo and Gabriel frown. Gabriel complains, “Am I the only one who has no fucking idea what you’re talking about?”

I take a deep breath, explaining, “I was four, and Sam was six months old. This maniac comes into his nursery, claiming he was ‘doing the work of an angel’. Burns mom alive, right there, jumps out the window. Burned our house down. Still can hear her screams. I carried Sammy out, and Dad came running out after us. He lost his sanity that night, spent his time finding the asshole. When he found him in a mental hospital, he just started drinking and throwing things and throwing people and hitting people and faded away. So when he actually said he was wrong and Mom wouldn’t have liked his reaction, he was apologizing for _everything_. So I gave him another chance.”

Jo’s wide eyes are only overpowered by Gabriel’s. Gabriel splutters, “ _What?_ ”

I sigh. “That’s what you walked up to. I told Michael and Lucifer, _with_ Cas’ help.”

Cas grins, shoving me a little. I slip my fingers back through his, grinning back.

Jo manages to gasp, “ _What?_ ”

Sam blushes scarlet, ducking his head. “Um.”

I toss Jo a smile. “That’s why we never talk about her. Or our dad much, for that matter, but still.”

She shakes her head. “That’s _huge_! Why didn’t you tell me?”

I shiver. “Didn’t tell anyone, before Cas. Not even Sam. Dad wrote journals and stuff, mainly stuff like ‘Sammy took his first steps today, he walked towards Dean’. But for the first year after, he usually made a note about ‘Dean’s not talking’, or ‘Dean’s still barely talking’ or something like that. I still remember when Sam said his first word, because Dad _laughed_ for the first time in a long time. Dad was telling him to say ‘daddy’ or ‘Dean’ and instead he shouts, ‘bitch!’. We both laughed. It was hilarious.”

“My first word was bitch?”

I grin at him. “Yep. And your first steps, you walked to me.”

He grins back, blushing crimson.

We generally wander across the parking lot. Once we make it to the cars, we pause.

Eli gestures. “I can walk. Hotel’s not far.”

“You’re not walking, Dad,” Gabriel interrupts, shoving him a little. “Come see my little shop. Shit, there’s probably a line. Oh, well. Come on.”

Eli lets Gabriel tug him over to his truck.

Lucifer and Michael climb into their truck and pull out.

I pause, grinning at Cas. Sam and Jo stop near us, Jo’s eyes still wide.

Sam clears his throat and I glance at him. “What?”

Sam crosses his arms. “Can you drop us at Jo’s? It’s time to marathon Harry Potter, Star Wars, and Star Trek and get our minds off this mess.”

Jo giggles, punching his arm. “You know _exactly_ what to watch, oh my god.”

I yawn, pulling the seat forward. “Come on.”

They climb in the back and I slip the seat back. Cas climbs in the passenger seat and I shut the door.

I meander around to the drivers’ side, flopping down and shutting the door gently, turning the keys.

The engine sputters and flares up, roaring up to her usual purr. “That doesn’t sound good. Gotta get her to the shop.”

I pull out, driving carefully. Both Sam and Cas are in my car, I’m not gonna crash.

I pull up in front of Jo’s house, and Cas gets up, pulling the seat forward. Sam and Jo get out, both hugging him before heading up to the house. Ellen comes running out to hug Cas tightly.

Cas laughs, hugging her back and chatting for a little.

Then he climbs back in, shutting the door and grinning at me.

I hit the gas, flipping and shooting off towards the shop. _Come on, Baby, you can make it. Come on. Come on._

She pops a few times but she rattles into the shop just fine.

I throw myself out of the car as soon as she’s stopped, shutting the door and flipping up the hood. Steam pours out and I see a vital part missing. _That bitch!_

I rush in and grab my spare, getting it in place and shutting the hood, waving away the smoke. “That _bitch._ ”

Cas frowns, touching my shoulder. “What happened?”

“Some impatient bitch hit my baby and a vital part was missing. Scratched her paint, and I heard a crack. She broke out the battery. Don’t know how she made it, but she’s a trusty car.”

Cas sighs. “At least she ran at all.”

I grin. “Yep. Cause she’s my best car.”

I pat the hood lovingly, grinning. “Trusty.”

Cas laughs. “You talk about her like she’s a person.”

I shrug, taking his hand in mine. “She’s my baby.”

Bobby comes out and a grin splits across his face. “Hey, Cas.”

Cas grins, eyes twinkling. “Hey, Bobby.”

He claps Cas on the shoulder. “Place is a mess without ya, kid.”

Cas laughs. “I’ve got some legal shit to take care of with my big brother Lucifer before I’ll be back, but I’ll make it quick. I like this place.”

Bobby shakes his head. “Thought Gabriel was your brother?”

I grin. “He’s got three. Gabriel, Michael, Lucifer. Lucifer’s a lawyer. Michael’s kinda an ass but he’s all shy and I like him. You met Gabriel. And he’s got a never-present older sister, Anna.”

“Religious?”

Cas grins. “Yeah. Eli, my dad, he’s pretty religious. Him, Michael, and Lucifer popped up yesterday while I was in the hospital.”

Bobby shakes his head. “What’re you doin’ here, Dean?”

“Some bitch pulled the battery out of my baby. She made it to Jo’s house and here. Tough car.”

Bobby sighs. “Bitch.”

“Yep.”

There’s a moment of silence and Cas grins at Ash and Benny. “Hey, guys!”

They wave. Bobby sighs. “Gotta get back to work. You take care of him, Dean. I’m not losin’ him. He’s a damn fine kid. Later.”

He walks away, leaving Cas with a blush. “He knows I can hear him, right?”

I shrug. “Yep. He just does that. Come on, let’s go to my place.”

I climb back in the car and she starts up smoothly this time.

Cas drops in next to me, crossing his ankles and tilting his head. “How’re your ribs?”

“Fine.”

I pause, frowning. “Are you okay?”

He shakes himself. “I’m fine, just...thinking.”

“What?”

He blushes. “About all this. Raphael. Dad and my brothers. You.”

I grin, ruffling his hair. “So much has happened in a few short hours. Hell, my dad is actually talking to me again. Your dad is talking to you.”

Cas nods, a gleam in his eyes. “Yeah. Still wrapping my head around it.”

I laugh. “Same. Especially since you deserve far better than me. Hell, I’m happy you want me, but you deserve better. You’re really awesome.”

He blushes scarlet, ducking his head and grinning. “I don’t _want_ better.”

I turn the wheel and tap the gas and she lurches forward, spinning smoothly around.

I sigh, shaking my head. “I was serious, you know, what I said.”

“About what?”

I pause. “In front of Dad.”

Cas’ eyes widen a little. “Which?”

I grin, pressing down on the gas so Baby shoots forward, calming me. “When Dad asked if I just proposed to you?”

“Yeah. _Oh._ ”

I duck my head, glancing at him. “And just before that. What made him ask.”

Cas’ eyes widen further and he grins. “Seriously?”

I chuckle, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel out of habit. “Yeah.”

Cas’ hand lands on one of mine and my hand stills. He pulls my hand off the steering wheel, lacing his fingers through mine. “I’d say yes.”

I close my hand on his, a huge and goofy grin on my face. “Oh my god.”

My hands steer us easily into my driveway, my foot instinctively easing on the brakes. We slide to a stop and Cas giggles. “Do you always slide like that?”

“Yeah, it’s fun.”

We both pause, glancing at each other. Our eyes meet for a second and Cas grins, pulling his hand from mine and climbing out of the car. I follow him out, shutting the door and making my way around to meet his hand with mine.

We make our way slowly up the stairs, in no rush to get anywhere. Cas is leaning his head against my shoulder, peaceful and silent.

I unlock the door and shove it open with my foot, scooping Cas up and sweeping in, shutting the door with a foot and weaving expertly through the mess on the floor to the only room. I kick off my shoes along the way and Cas wiggles free of his shoes.

I set him down on the bed Sam had insisted on putting in the room in case I needed it and flop down next to him, closing my eyes.

Cas snuggles close, his head on my chest and his arms around me. I pull the blankets over us, slipping an arm around him. He hums contentedly, eyes closed.

We stay like that for an immeasurable time before I roll onto my side, facing him, and pull him closer.

His eyes are closed and he appears to be asleep, hands closed on my shirt and his body pressed to my chest.

He looks so peaceful like that, all the worry and stress draining from his face and leaving him with a small smile and a peaceful expression. I’ve never seen him so peaceful, and it only makes me love him more. I close my eyes, drifting between sleep and awake.

Finally I wake up the rest of the way to find Cas snuggled closer, his eyes half-open.

Our eyes meet for a split second and I grin, kissing his forehead. “Hey.”

He giggles, tightening his embrace. “Hey.”

I grin at him. “You look adorable when you’re all sleepy like that.”

“I could say the same about you. You have the most beautiful sleepy green eyes.”

I grin, ducking my head. “Oh my god, shut up.”

Cas kisses the top of my head. “You do.”

I shake my head. “Your eyes are all blue. The prettiest blue ever.”

He grins, blushing crimson. “Awww, Dean.”

I trail my hand up and down his back lightly, eyes half-closed. “It’s true.”

Cas hums, too tired to argue. “What time is it?”

I check my phone. “Four. Holy shit, it was twelve thirty when I woke up.”

Cas grins. “Without the travel time, that’s about three hours. Longest we’ve ever been completely alone.”

I grin back, squinting at the screen. “Bright.”

Cas glances at the screen. “Yep.”

One text, from Sam, and one call from Lucifer. “Oh, shit. Lucifer called. Oh, well.”

I unlock the phone. Sam’s text was brief and short-tempered.

**_3:51PM –_ **

**_Dude, call Lucifer. He’s getting worried. He said when you’re ready, the judge, jury, and everything is all set. Even the two Finnermans are prepared, Raphael and Donald, as well as Kennedy and Rigby. Call him, damn it._ **

I sigh, shaking my head. “Cas.”

Cas tugs my phone from my hands, scanning the message. “Oh my god. Impatient little shit.”

He hands me my phone and I text back quickly.

**_(4:01PM)_ **

**_Dude, you’re such an impatient little shit. We’re fine, we were just sleeping. Give us some time to actually wake up and we’ll go. Where’s everyone at?_ **

**_4:02PM –_ **

**_We don’t have time for you to sleep right now. Courthouse, the only one in Lawrence. Down the street from the school, near the police station._ **

**_(4:02PM)_ **

**_Yeah, yeah, I’m on my way. Impatient ass._ **

Cas rolls out of bed and I follow him, slipping our shoes on as we go. “Impatient little shit, yeah.”

Cas laughs. “Well, this is a pretty huge thing.”

I shake my head, flattening my hair and straightening my shirt, taking Cas’ hand in mine.

I slide into the front seat of the car, turning the keys. Cas drops in next to me.

In just a minute, I pull into the parking lot. Knowing this is a courthouse and I shouldn’t skid in, I refrain from twisting the wheel and pull in next to Lucifer’s truck smoothly.

I get out, zipping around to open the door for Cas. He laughs, taking my offered hand and climbing out of the car, sliding his fingers through mine.

I shut the door behind him, making our way towards the doors. We slow the closer we get, both steeling ourselves to face down Raphael in a composed manner.


	19. Case Closed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The case is closed! The longest 'witness' speeches are by Gabriel and Sam. This is a long chapter. John tells Cas to call him Dad and says he'd be honored to call him son. Ellen tells Cas to call her Mom. Cas is overwhelmed by the jury and the judge's messages of acceptance and love. Ends with them on their way to the Roadhouse. Love wins! Raphael, his friends, and his father all get restraining orders and 3 years (father) for harassment and non-physical assault (AKA him screaming at Gabriel so much) and his car dealerships are given away to Bobby, then Raphael and friends get 5 years each (on expensive bail) for assault and sexual harassment (Jo) and harassment (Cas and Sam).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' perspective.
> 
> So much fluff. Cas is overwhelmed by the support. It's just so cute. And Gabriel and Ellen are throwing parties, so free food for everyone who was in the courtroom and lowered prices for others to celebrate the victory! XD

Dean pulls in normally, sliding in neatly next to Lucifer’s truck. _He’s actually driving normal._

He gets out, shuts his door, and comes around to open mine. He offers his hand and I accept it, letting him pull me to my feet.

Dean slips his fingers through mine and I close my hand on his.

We slow as we approach the door, both steeling ourselves for the case ahead.

Lucifer’s face relaxes in relief as he spots us coming towards him. He pulls me in for a hug and I hug him back with my free hand, squeezing Dean’s hand.

There’s a moment of silence and Lucifer says, “Follow me, little brother.”

We step inside and the atmosphere changes immediately from relaxed and chatty to rigid organization.

I duck my head, tightening my grip on Dean’s hand. Dean squeezes my hand, pulling me with after Lucifer.

Lucifer sits, back straight and face taking on the expression of calm certainty.

Dean sits and I sit next to him, raising my gaze a little to spot Raphael’s sneer across the room. His lawyer looks shabby and disorganized next to my brother, I notice with satisfaction.

I flinch anyway, averting my gaze. He seems to radiate confidence, despite the fact that he’s the one who hurt me and not the other way around.

Dean slides closer, seeming to know Raphael is bothering me. He lowers his voice to murmur, “Hey, it’s okay, Cas.”

I squeeze his hand, murmuring back, “I know, I just don’t want to look at him. He’s acting like he’s some damn angel, and he’s not.”

The judge slams his mallet on the table in front of him and I let myself jump a little, raising my eyes. My jumpy and fearful appearance will no doubt help with my case, so I let it persist even though my instincts scream against it.

The judge clears his throat loudly. “Ahem. Let the prosecution speak first?”

Donald’s lawyer stands, his hands shaking as he opens his small folder. “Ahem. The boy known as Castiel Novak has assaulted Raphael Finnerman many times and the young Gabriel Novak, sitting next to him, broke his jaw. This has been attested to by both Donald and Raphael Finnerman and young men Rigby and Kennedy.”

I glance at Gabriel, and he offers me a small smile. I smile shyly back, squeezing Dean’s hand uneasily.

The judge nods. “Now the defense may speak.”

I shiver, and Lucifer rises to his feet. “According to hospital records, our young Castiel was assaulted by the very boys you say are witnesses. This statement by the school principal tells us that Castiel has been repeatedly harassed by Raphael Finnerman and misters Rigby and Kennedy. Rigby was suspended for scrawling the derogatory and offensive term ‘faggot’ across Castiel’s locker. Castiel has never ‘flaunted’ his sexuality, he told a girl he did not understand she wished to date him due to being gay. Then she told her friend, as is expected. This friend told Raphael, who proceeded to harass Castiel about it. His ribs were bruised and then broken. His older brother Gabriel did break Raphael’s jaw, but it was justified because he was assaulting Castiel at the time and the action sent him away. Raphael tripped over a trash can and rushed to blame Castiel for it. As this case stands, I would say that Castiel should get a restraining order against Raphael and his friends, if they are not arrested for assault against him. We have several witnesses, including Dean and Samuel Winchester, Castiel himself—who has agreed to speak—Jo and Ellen Harvelle, and Castiel’s father, Eli Novak.”

“He’s also got me,” a voice echoes from the back of the room.

“And who are you?”

I turn, eyes widening. _John._

“I am John Winchester, father of Samuel and Dean.”

Dean turns, surprised. “Dad?”

“Hello, son,” John grinds out formally.

Dean grins. Sam smiles, too, albeit more shyly. “Hey, Dad.”

Lucifer inclines his head. “John.”

There’s a pause.

The judge breaks it, clearing his throat. “Ahem. Continue.”

John sits next to Dad, looking out of place but determined.

Dean releases my hand to stand. “My name is Dean Winchester, and I am Cas’ friend. The first time he went to the hospital, Cas was bloodied. There was a tear in his shirt and his hip was bruised, his face was covered in blood. He was stumbling to the street out of an alleyway, on his way home after school. I was on my way home from work at Bobby Singer's mechanic shop, mind on a warm shower, when I saw him. I took him to the hospital, despite protests he was fine. Bruised ribs and hip. He was, as Jo here put it, ‘a walking eggplant’ the next day.

“The second time,” he continues, “He came away with a black eye and broke Kennedy’s nose. Then, we were both attacked. I got a broken hand and bruised ribs. For the first day or so, he was in a coma. When he woke up, he was in a lot of pain. His ribs were broken and he was really badly bruised. His nose was broken and his eyes were both black. I know, from what Cas told me and from knowing Cas had already been previously harassed by Raphael for befriending my little brother, Sammy, that the first time was him. And I know the second time was because I was there. And Rigby, Kennedy, and a young man with cream-colored skin was also there, though I don’t know his name. Raphael was holding me back and the others were beating on Cas. I called for my brother and his—Gabriel and Sam—and broke free, pulling them off of Cas.”

Sam and Gabriel stand together as Dean sits, his hand finding mine again. He shoots me a strained smile, the pain and anger evident on his face now that the judge’s eyes and the jury’s eyes were off of him.

Sam steels himself. “I’ll start at the beginning. Raphael has been harassing me for a while, especially since last year, when I made some huge mistakes I can’t change. And he’s been sexually harassing my friend Jo Harvelle, calling here ‘whorvelle’ because she refused to date him in eighth grade and he’s still sore over that. Castiel and Jo can attest to use of that name by Rigby, Kennedy, and Raphael. He was trying to piss me off, to get me to start something so I would be suspended or expelled from school this year. He’s been trying to for a while. So he targeted Alfie, my friend, and Jo, and then Cas. And then it got worse because word got out that Cas was gay, not that _I_ care. My big brother is bi, my friend is gay, and I don’t mind. Dean called my name, and his voice was hoarse because Raphael was holding his neck in a choke hold. When I came around the corner with Gabriel, he was on the ground coughing up blood and he rolled away from Raphael. He caught his fist in his hand—hence the broken hand—and shoved him back, when Gabriel punched him. He took off. Dean pulled Rigby and Kennedy off, coughing up blood the entire time. Dean and I pulled off this olive-skinned kid together and he took off. Despite the fact that he was injured, he picked Cas up off the ground. Gabe lifted him out of Dean’s hands and we called Lucifer—our lawyer. We told him the situation and I supported Dean into the car. By the time we got to the hospital, both Dean and Cas were unconscious, Cas in a coma due to blood loss and Dean passed out from exhaustion and lack of air. We got them inside. Dean came to a day or two later, and Cas woke up a few hours later.”

Gabriel nods. “Going off of where he began, with the fight. Yes, I did punch Raphael to get him away from my baby brother Cas and my friend Dean. I did not, however, intend to break anything, and I humbly apologize for the damage. Twice, my bakery—Reynard’s—had been darkened by Raphael’s father’s presence, Donald Finnerman. He came and threatened a lawsuit and a restraining order against my brother, and spat in my face about him, quote-unquote, ‘flaunting his sexuality and making people uncomfortable’. I told him they can be uncomfortable all they like, it’s not a lifestyle choice. It’s just who he is, and I know that. But they aren’t allowed to gather a mob to beat him up and harass him because of who he is. I told him to get out of my shop, and he obliged. Cas thanked me for standing up for him. Then again, after Cas had come back to the bakery after running from Raphael with his black eye. Lucifer had come to speak with me and was asking if Cas was okay when I came out, and he was covered in blood. He had broken Kennedy’s nose. Raphael had tripped over a trash can and gotten scratched up, and went crying to Donnie. So he came yelling to me. He called my brother an ‘angel with a chip in his shoulder’ and yelled that his son’s future wasn’t going to be ruined by my brother. I told him to get out of my shop, again, and not return. He returned after the recent incident to yell that Raphael’s jaw was broken and I had done it, which is true but unintentional. I told him like it is—that my baby brother was in the hospital with broken ribs and covered in bruises and it was his boy who’d done it. He literally spat in my eye and left. I went and checked up on Cas, who had recently woke up. Donald has been very unpleasant throughout this whole affair, and I would kindly request a restraining order to keep him away from my bakery. He disturbs me and my brother, and goes so far as to storm into my business. Kills the vibe of the place. He seems to think owning his mid-range, eurotrash car dealership makes him king of the universe, and walks like it does. His son also acts similarly, acting like he owns the school and all.”

I wince, tightening my grip on Dean’s hand.

Jo and Ellen stand up. Jo clears her throat, tilting her head up. “What Sam said about Raphael and his friends calling me ‘whorvelle’ because I turned Raphael down when he asked me out on a date in eighth grade is completely true. And speaking as Cas’ friend, Raphael and his friends’ behavior towards him is completely uncalled for. His _ex_ -girlfriend Amelia can attest to that. I saw how much pain they put him in, both mental and physical, and it’s completely uncalled for.”

She sits and Ellen glances at me, her face softening. “Castiel has always been like a son to me. He’s sweet and he has a depth it can sometimes be hard to see. He’s amazing, he’s talented and smart. That those boys think anything different is baffling to me. Just because his sexual orientation is different from theirs doesn’t mean they have any reason to treat him like a punching bag. Raphael became even worse right after the word spread through his high school that he and Dean had kissed at a lacrosse match, which is true.”

Dean blushes scarlet and we both duck our head, grinning.

Ellen clears her throat, continuing, “That Raphael could be such a violent child I don’t understand. He seems like a nice enough boy. I own the Roadhouse bar and grill, and I’ve seen him with his friends before. They never seemed violently inclined. Then I saw him next to Castiel, spitting in his face and punching at him, and I had to pull Raphael away...I never thought to see him act out like that.”

She sits, crossing her legs in a olden-times, lady-like fashion.

Dad stands, tossing a smile my way. “My son Castiel and I have never been on the greatest of terms. This past May, he left because I overreacted when he came out as homosexual. Our family has always been religious, and he protested that homosexuality wasn’t evil because _he_ was homosexual. Over our time apart, I learned a lot and made some new friends. My son Michael told me that he had received word Castiel was in the hospital, and Lucifer had called to tell him that he was there due to this child, Raphael Finnerman. I’ve done some business with Donald before, but he’s gone too far on this, blindly believing his son’s word as he does. I saw how beat up Castiel was in the hospital. It was unnerving. Just to share a hug pained him greatly, stabbing his ribs with pain. He’s a good kid, he doesn’t deserve to be treated as he has. And between you and I, Donald, your son is not a perfect little angel as you seem to think. He’s been glaring at Castiel since he first sat down in this room.”

Dad sits and Donald glances at Raphael, who is too surprised to remove his glare from me in time.

John rises to his feet, straightening his shirt. “I met Castiel while his ribs were still badly damaged. He had insisted that he came to meet me, and Dean arranged it. He was in pain but he was very happy to be out of the hospital, even temporarily. He was polite and sweet, and even though it was a little of an _uncomfortable_ situation—as he kissed my son Dean right before me—I never once considered that this child could’ve been victim to such horrible attacks by a child of his own age, Raphael. He’s a good kid, one I would be proud to call my son. Raphael and anyone who harmed him should be retrained from doing so in the future, whether on assault charges in juvenile prison or by a restraining order.”

John sits and I blink, glancing at Dean. He gives me an encouraging grin, releasing my hand.

I rise slowly to my feet, casting a glance Raphael’s way. “I honestly don’t understand why Raphael turned against me in the first place. I merely _looked_ at his girlfriend, because her red hair was pretty, and he threatened to beat me up then. Luckily, Dean came and stopped him in good time. But I came to encounter him more and more. ‘Faggot’ came to be scrawled across my locker. The janitor tried to remove it, with little success. The paint came off with it, leaving an imprint. Raphael teased me about my sexuality with my friends Sam and Dean many times. The time I did fight back, breaking Kennedy’s nose, Raphael tried to get _me_ in trouble for him getting hurt. Then he attacked me when I was walking down the street with Dean, retraining Dean from helping me and letting his friends beat me to the ground. By the time they pulled the last boy off of me, I could hardly see straight. My head was spinning and everything was blurry. I was spitting out blood, from my mouth and my already-bruised ribs being punched. If not for the timely arrival of Sam and my brother Gabriel, I might not have survived the encounter, and I’m grateful to them for stepping in. I usually don’t have friends, seeing as I am deemed strange and reserved by most. But when Sam actually befriended me and started to care, that was new and it was irritating when Raphael insinuated that I was attracted to him only due to my sexuality. I have some friends who are female, like Jo. He hasn’t stopped harassing me and I doubt he ever will. So I called Lucifer, asking for his assistance through the blood in my teeth—literally, as this was when Gabriel broke Raphael’s jaw—and he came to help.”

I glance at Raphael, sighing. “I honestly wish we could just work this out and move on, but after he has attacked me so many times that cannot be so.”

I sink down into my chair, my hand finding Dean’s.

Lucifer rises again. “As you can see from the witnesses, Castiel is a good kid who would never have _assaulted_ others, as he was allegedly doing to Raphael and his friends. Your honor?”

The judge slams his mallet down, turning to the jury. “I consider that the prosecution has four witnesses, all of which were involved, and the defense has many, most of whom were not and two who were never involved with this situation. Jury, make a call.”

They start talking among themselves and the tension is strong in the courtroom. Finally, the representative stands. “We have reached a unanimous vote, your honor.”

“Proceed,” the judge allows.

She clears her throat. “We have decided that as all stands, Raphael and his friends are guilty of many assaults on Castiel and even his friends and should be treated as such. We condemn him thusly to juvenile prison. As for his father, who was disrespectful and took the fight right to Gabriel Novak’s face, he should have a restraining order at least, if not a minor felony charge for harassment.”

Dean blinks in surprise and Gabriel inclines his head graciously. “Thank you, ma’am.”

She inclines her head, sitting down.

The judge considers the matter. “Case closed on the decision of the jury. Donald Finnerman, your car dealerships shall be removed indefinitely and given to Bobby Singer, as I understand he can take care of the cars. You are under arrest for harassment and non-physical assault, three years in prison. Raphael Finnerman, Misters Kennedy and Rigby, and this ‘olive-skinned friend’, who shall be found and arrested, shall all go to juvenile prison for assault and harassment—five years, I’ll say—and once free of this confinement, there will be a life-time long sentence over your heads—not only with your records, but with life-long restraining orders. You will be restrained from going within fifty feet of any member of Castiel’s family or his friends. And Donald, you will be restrained from going within fifty feet of Reynard’s bakery and any member of Castiel’s family or his friends. Case closed!”

He slams his mallet down and the tension snaps.

Raphael, his friends, and Donald Finnerman sit in shock. They all get extra charges for resisting arrest and are dragged out of the room, hands and feet chained.

Dean and I exchange a glance, surprised.

The tension in our part of the room snaps and Gabriel claps my shoulder, grinning. “Hey, we did it!”

I smile up at him, to shocked to say anything. I had expected Raphael and his friends to get restraining orders, not go to prison. Let alone Raphael’s _father_ , too.

I release Dean’s hand to make my way through the crowd to John, catching his shoulder before he can leave. John turns and his eyes light up. “Hey, Cas.”

I incline my head, asking softly, “Did you mean what you said?”

He pauses and nods. “Yeah. You’re as good as my son already, kiddo.”

I smile shyly at him. “Thank you.”

John hugs me, warm and gentle. “Always.”

We stay like that for a little before he breaks away, grinning. “Gotta go to a job interview, see ya around, kid.”

I smile in return, nodding. “Thank you, John.”

“Call me Dad.” He winks and disappears out the door.

I blink, turning and wrapping my arms around Dad—Eli, now that I can call John my dad.

He laughs, ruffling my hair and kissing the top of my head. “You’re in a good mood.”

I clear my throat. “I expected a restraining order, not this. I’m surprised. And John...that was unexpected.”

“Yes, and I think that helped our case. With how he said you’re a good kid.”

I grin, releasing Dad. “He told me to call him Dad.”

Dad laughs. “Go ahead if you want to, kiddo.”

Dad makes a grand exit and Lucifer puts a gentle hand on my shoulder. “We did it. Congratulations.”

I grin. “Oh, stop being so damn formal, Lucy.”

I throw my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me, falling from stern lawyer to big brother in seconds. His posture slouches and a smile touches his lips. “Cas, brother...no one’s called me Lucy in years. Except perhaps Gabriel, who will never get over it.”

I chuckle. “Not to your face. Hell, Gabe called Michael the mega douche behind his back.”

Lucifer chuckles. “Well, he was being one. He’s not so much anymore.”

I shrug. “He’s now the shy one.”

Lucifer ruffles my hair, kissing my forehead. “I’ll call when I get home, okay? Michael and I moved into a small apartment just out of town. If you want to drop by, feel free.”

I grin, releasing him. “Thanks, Luc.”

“That’s better. And always, little brother.”

Lucifer sweeps out dramatically, spinning out the door. He does a small happy dance once he’s out of the room.

Michael puts a gentle hand on my shoulder, drawing my eyes. “He seems happy.”

I shake my head, turning to face Michael. “Stop being so damn shy, Mike. It’s getting on my nerves. Big brothers are supposed to be confident and overprotective. I miss that.”

I pull him in for a hug and he wraps his arms around me, relaxing. “You haven’t called me Mike in years.”

“Yeah, well, that’s a habit that’s gonna start up again.”

He laughs, a much more natural and relaxed laugh than I’ve heard from him in years—since we lost Mom. “Oh my god, you’re such a little dork. A lovable little puppy.”

I laugh, squeezing and releasing him. “You’re a squishable, lovable little puppy. We’re all puppies in our family.”

“Yeah, I suppose we are.” Michael ruffles my hair, releasing me. “I think Lucifer mentioned our apartment?”

I nod, grinning. “Yep. Love you, big bro.”

Michael smiles back, and for once the shy overlay has vanished. “Yeah, I love you, too.”

He sweeps out, similar to both Dad and Lucifer. That seems to be a family thing, dramatic exits and entrances.

Gabriel pulls me in for a hug, ruffling my hair and squishing me. “I love you, too, Cassie.”

“Oh, shut up.” I squeeze him back, then shove him off. “You’re such an annoyance.”

“You know you love me. I’m the trick up your sleeve if you need me.”

I roll my eyes, grinning. “Yeah, I know. I do love you. Doesn’t make you any less annoying.”

“Meet me at Reynard’s, we’re throwing a party. Cause love wins!”

He sweeps out, proud and dramatic.

Sam and Jo stop in front of me, grinning. Jo straightens her back. “Feels good that they’re in jail for harassment, too. Good to have it off my chest. That went great, Cas!”

Sam shivers. “What you said about spitting up blood and your head spinning, was that just for the case?”

I shake my head. “That’s the truth. And it’s not your fault, don’t even start to blame yourself.”

Sam grins, punching my shoulder. “Okay. And I like that you brought up me caring about you, that was...touching and it made you seem even smaller. You kinda shrunk in on yourself and looked all sad, and that endeared you to the jury. Good job.”

I shrug. “I wasn’t aware I was doing that, but okay.”

Jo giggles, ruffling my hair. “Mom’s gonna be throwing a party, and I hear Gabe is too. Gotta go to both. Love wins, right? Who cares about bi or homo when there’s free food involved? Come on, Sam, let’s stuff our faces with Gabe’s amazing cooking and Mom’s amazing burgers and fries.”

Jo pulls Sam with her out the door as I call, “I’m telling Gabe you said that!”

Jo laughs. Sam grins, yelling back, “Maybe we’ll get more for it!”

I roll my eyes, grinning. _My friends, right? Oh my god. I picked the damn dorks. I love it._

Ellen’s hand falls on my shoulder. “Party at the Roadhouse to celebrate. Go ahead and invite the family, free food for all of you. Especially the ones who spoke for ya, and you.”

I grin. “Gabe’s celebrating, too. I’ll pass it along.”

Ellen chuckles. “Perfect. I don’t do desserts.”

I shake my head, a smirk pulling up my face. “I heard what you said, about me being your son.”

Ellen grins. “Well, it’s true. You’ve always been my son. The son I never had.”

I smile shyly. “You’ve been more of a mother than I’ve ever had, Ellen. You know, since I lost my mom so early on. It’s not as one-sided as it seemed.”

She pulls me in for a hug, kissing the top of my head and patting my back. “Call me Mom, it’s okay.”

I grin, burying my face in her shoulder. _I have a mom now, too._ “Okay.”

“See you later, sweetie.” She kisses the top of my head again and releases me, dancing out the door.

Dean stops in front of me, a grin on his face. “A train of people, eh, Cas?”

I shake my head. “Ellen says to call her Mom, and your dad said to call him Dad. I have a whole other family of my own. I haven’t really had a mom in so long, it’s hard to remember what it was even like.”

Dean pulls me in for a hug, pecking me on the lips. “Hey, you’ve got a family here. And friends. And you’ve got me. And you even managed to make me fall further in love with you, you little puppy.”

I grin, hugging him lightly before releasing him and taking his hand in mine. “I love you.”

“Yeah, I love you more.”

I shake my head. “I’ve never been happier in my life. I didn’t expect them to actually send them away. I never have to listen to them insulting me again. That’s more than I could’ve hoped for.”

The spokeswoman for the jury touches my shoulder. “Hi, Cas. Just want you to know, my daughter is homo, too, and my son is bi. I wouldn’t want to see them treated like you’ve been. You’re a good kid. You looked so scared when you were talking, it just breaks my heart. You’re a brave kid. And Dean, don’t you ever worry about all this. It’s perfectly normal. You just love who you love, and that’s that.”

Dean blushes scarlet, grinning. “Thanks.”

I smile shyly, murmuring, “Thank you. That was far more than I could’ve hoped for. I just hoped to keep him away long enough for him to leave, let alone never have to speak to him again.”

She nods, smiling back. “Of course, sweetie. Have a great day.”

“It’s already the best day of my life,” I tell her lightly, squeezing Dean’s hand.

“Well, let it stay that way, honey.” She grins and slips away.

I grin at Dean, stepping outside.

Gabriel is waiting for us, raising an eyebrow. “Took you long enough.”

I roll my eyes. “We spoke and the woman who spoke for the jury told us her daughter is homosexual and her son is bisexual and that I was brave, so that held us up. Oh, and Sam and Jo said ‘who cares about sexuality when free food’s involved, especially Gabe’s amazing cooking and Ellen’s amazing burgers.’”

Gabriel grins, eyes shining with pride. “That calls for free treats all around! My cooking has been complimented.”

Dean shakes his head, grinning. “You’ve always been an amazing cook, man, that’s why I keep asking for leftovers. And all those pies you make? Man, I love pie. Now I know if I ever need pie, I’ve got a perfect place to go with friends and an amazing cook.”

Gabriel’s eyes widen just a little in surprise. “You’re always welcome to drop by, Dean. And that calls for a free round of pie, too.”

Dean’s grin widens. “Awww, man, you don’t have to.”

“That’s the point,” Gabriel insists. “You like pie? Let’s have some pie.”

I shake my head. “Dean and Sam seem to only know your trickster side, the side Lucy always called your ‘pain-in-the-ass mode’. This is your more charitable mode they’re unfamiliar with.”

“Maybe I need to be charitable more often, then!” Gabriel grins, clapping Dean on the shoulder.

Dean grins back, eyes shining. “Thanks, man.”

“Of course, Dean.” Gabriel leaps into his truck, calling, “I’ve got a round of food to make, come around in about an hour!”

He pulls out and the jury begins to file out as we stand, frozen in surprise.

Most of them touch me and Dean on the shoulder as they pass and a few pause to congratulate us or pass on a message of acceptance and ‘love is love, all alike’.

By the time they’re gone and the judge is beginning to come out, the sun has begun to set and Dean and I are staring at each other, still surprised.

The judge places a gentle hand on my shoulder, a small smile now on his face. “Have a good day, son. Have a good _life_. Marry as you will, love who you want. And don’t ever let common assholes who are jealous of the friendships you have drag you down.”

I smile back. “Thank you.”

Dean inclines his head politely. “Thank you, sir.”

He grins at Dean. “You’re a brave kid. You take care of Cas, kiddo.”

Dean inclines his head, promising sincerely, “I will.”

The judge meanders away, pulling out in a fancy Cadillac.

We slowly wander towards Dean’s sleek Impala, the shiniest car in the lot. “She’s the best in the lot.”

Dean grins, squeezing my hand. “Yeah, she is.”

We slip into the Impala, making our way to the Roadhouse first.


	20. Cas and Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is super jumpy. Alfie is being 'brave' (AKA he says something to Dean). Jo smacks Dean twice. Sam snaps at Dean. Cas explains to Sam why he's jumpy. Dean sweeps away because Sam threatens to tell Jo about the upcoming proposal. :) Just funny fluff. Had to happen. Dean is being jumpy but it's because he's treading too lightly around Cas (and he notices that).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sam's perspective. This one shows how jumpy Dean is being (because the mentioned marriage proposal to Cas).

Dean rings me up, and I pick up and use my most irritated voice. “Wha’d’you want?”

Dean laughs. “Heya, Sammy. Guess what? Cas told Gabe what you said, and I said I love pie, so...free round of pie and treats from Gabe! And reduced prices to celebrate!”

“Ellen said there’s a free round of food for everyone and she’s got reduced prices, too. How ‘bout we eat at the Roadhouse and have dessert at Gabe’s?”

“That’s the plan,” Dean confirms. “Though Cas and I might take a while. We’re gonna celebrate on our own first. Okay, Sammy?”

“Ew, Dean, mental image.” I shake my head. “Fine, yeah, but don’t tell me what you’re doing.”

Dean chuckles. “You’ve got a dirty mind, man! Nah, we’re just gonna hang out, but we’re not so ready for crowds yet, if you get my drift. You’re the only person I told I’m bi other than Dad and Cas, so...yeah.”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay.” I roll my eyes. “You better be here by six. And yes, I know it’s five right now. Be here.”

“Yeah, okay, fine.” Dean sighs. “Jerk.”

“Bitch,” I answer lightly. Dean laughs and hangs up.

I shake my head, slipping back inside. “Ellen!”

She looks up, grinning. “Yeah?”

I slip through the crowd up to her. “Dean and Cas are gonna take some time. Dean told me and Dad, and he says he told Cas, but the whole bi thing is new. Wants some time away from the crowds.”

“Okay, honey.”

I grin and flop down at our table, which is surprisingly quiet and empty without Cas. “Hey, guys.”

Jo looks up and Alfie blushes scarlet. “What was that about?”

I roll my eyes. “Dean. Wants ‘time alone’ with Cas. AKA he’s trying to calm down since everyone knows he’s bi now. Tough guy, but he’s a melted teddy bear right now. He says we get free treats and pie from Gabe, he passed on the comment on Gabe’s excellent cooking and that he loves pie.”

Jo laughs and the tiny bubble of tension snaps. “So Gabe’s cooking?”

“Yep. So’s Ellen. Pretty busy day, eh?”

Alfie shakes his head. “It’s all over?”

“For now, yeah. There’s probably gonna be some huge welcoming party and Cas’ll be king of senior year, but ah well. That means we’ll be _popular_ , ew.”

“Nah, Cas isn’t gonna let that happen. He’s too introverted to want to be popular.” Jo grins. “But hey, Raph’s in jail! Why should anything be upsetting us?”

I sigh. “Because Cas isn’t here? We’re super quiet, abnormally so, without him here. He’s like a limb missing. He’s become vital to our group. I don’t know, even in just this short time I miss him. He’s a tough kid.”

“ _You’re_ a kid,” Jo counters, giggling.

I roll my eyes. “I know I am, but point is we rely on him more than we thought.”

“Yeah, we do,” Alfie agrees quietly.

Jo sighs. “You’re right, we do. Damn it.”

I pull out my phone, texting him.

**_(5:03PM)_ **

**_Cas, man, this may sound weird but we miss you. Like, Jo, Alfie and I are here and it’s all quiet and the mood is dragging down and the only difference is you’re not here. How’s Dean?_ **

**_5:04PM –_ **

**_Dean is fine, he’s shaking a little and drumming the steering wheel but he’s okay. And maybe you should start talking about how much shit has gone down. Does Alfie know about my family and your dad?_ **

I shake my head.

**_(5:04PM)_ **

**_Nah, man, good thinking. So much has been going on it’s hard to get my head ‘round it all. And when he’s drumming the steering wheel he’s nervous. And when he’s shaking he’s nervous. So he’s really damn nervous. Which is abnormal for him._ **

**_5:04PM –_ **

**_I noticed. He’s more the calm and collected type. Unless he’s angry._ **

I grin. “Observant little shit.”

Jo frowns. “What?”

“He says that Dean’s fine but he’s nervous. And he’s ‘more the calm and collected type’ unless he’s angry.”

Alfie laughs nervously. “Yeah, it’s terrifying.”

I grin. “Nah, man, it’s fine.”

**_(5:05PM)_ **

**_Tell Dean Alfie just called him terrifying because he’s abnormally calm. Should make him laugh._ **

**_5:06PM –_ **

**_He says Alfie would be afraid of a wind blowing and his own shadow, so he’s not surprised. Says he always looks two seconds shy of puking and his voice is a little strain of noise. It’s pretty funny, I don’t know. He seems serious when he’s talking about it._ **

I grin. “Ah, Dean, you little shit.”

“What?”

I look up. “Cas told Dean you said he’s terrifying. So Cas told me he said ‘Alfie would be afraid of a wind blowing and his own shadow, so I’m not surprised. He always looks two seconds shy of puking and his voice is a little strain of noise.’ Says he seemed pretty serious, man.”

Alfie grins. “Oh my god.”

Jo giggles. “Dean’s all critical of Alfie.”

“And yet again, Cas is the one who got us talking,” I comment quietly.

There’s a moment of silence as we consider it.

**_(5:08PM)_ **

**_Alfie says ‘oh my god.’ And Jo’s laughing. You’re the one who gets us talking and keeps us talking, man._ **

**_5:09PM –_ **

**_How did you talk before? Didn’t you manage? Nah, it’s fine. Dean’s calmed down._ **

I grin, typing furiously back.

**_(5:09PM)_ **

**_Good, are you coming?_ **

**_5:09PM –_ **

**_I might purposefully not come just to make you talk among yourselves without me._ **

I grin, shaking my head. “Cas is such an ass.”

Jo grins. “What now?”

“‘I might purposefully not come just to make you talk among yourselves without me’.”

Jo laughs and Alfie chuckles.

**_(5:10PM)_ **

**_You little shit. Come on, please?_ **

**_5:10PM –_ **

**_Dean is doubled over laughing now. I think you cured him or something. No, we’re on our way. Dean says he’s hungry anyway. Same table, right?_ **

I grin. “Got him.”

**_(5:10PM)_ **

**_Yep._ **

**_5:11PM –_ **

**_Don’t die of boredom before I get there. I might have to bury you if you do. ;)_ **

**_(5:11PM)_ **

**_We’ll try. Don’t take too long, right?_ **

**_5:11PM –_ **

**_With Dean’s driving habits, I assume we won’t—oh, wait. Look out the window. Dean’s being an ass._ **

I look up to see Dean flipping us off and grinning, skidding into the employee part of the parking lot into his spot. “Oh my god, Dean, you’re such a child.”

Jo throws her head back in laughter, flashing her teeth. Alfie grins, shaking his head. “Dean...”

With the crowds, it’s impossible to see them until they weave through to the table, Dean still with a huge grin on his face and Cas with a more gentle and shy smile.

I shake my head at Dean. “You’re such a baby, Dean.”

“Nah, I just like havin’ fun and messin’ with my baby bro, man!” Dean grins, mussing my hair.

Cas shoves him a little. “You _are_ childish sometimes.”

Dean laughs, ruffling Cas’ hair. “I know, but what’s the point in growing up if you can’t be childish sometimes?”

Cas shakes his head, flashing a smile. “What’s the point in growing up with you’re _always_ childish?”

“Cas asks the right questions, Sammy.” Dean winks and I shake my head, sticking my tongue out.

Jo smacks Dean’s arm. “Grow the fuck up, Dean.”

Dean chuckles. “You know, if I wasn’t older than you I’d find that cute.”

He nods suggestively at Alfie and he blushes scarlet, ducking his head with a goofy grin.

Cas crosses his arms, nudging Dean. “Sometimes you need to grow up, you know.”

Dean grins. “You’re adorable.”

Cas blushes deep red, shaking his head and grinning. “ _You’re_ a pain in the ass.”

“Ah, come on, you know you love me.”

Cas shrugs. “Doesn’t mean you’re not a pain in the ass.”

Dean chuckles, in a strangely good mood. “I’ll go get food from Ellen.”

He slips away and Cas sinks down, shaking his head.

Jo grins. “He’s in a good mood.”

We weren’t expecting him to blush scarlet from the tips of his ears to the roots of his hair with that one comment, but he does. Then he ducks his head, murmuring, “Yeah, he is.”

I punch his shoulder. “Hey, what’re you all pink for? Relax, man.”

His blush only deepens but a grin pulls at his face, a little strained. “Since when are you unable to talk without me around?”

Jo laughs. “Since you have the best strings of topic?”

Cas shakes his head, grinning. “You can talk on your own. You just don’t want to, there’s a difference.”

Alfie grins, pushing boldly, “Yeah, because you’re our friend.”

The faded pink tinge deepens to red again and Cas laughs. Jo smacks his shoulder playfully. “What are you so giggly and embarrassed over, Cas?”

Cas’ grin widens and his blush deepens. “Not like I can say. Not yet.”

I blink. “Cas, can we talk?”

Cas shrugs. “Not like I can stop you.”

Jo shrugs, and Alfie just blushes again.

I get up, pulling Cas with me to a less crowded spot. “Cas, is this about Dean? He’s in some weirdly happy mood and it’s disconcerting.”

Cas ducks his head, the smile a little less strained. “Yes.”

“Yes what?”

He raises his gaze. “Yeah, it’s about Dean. Something he said while we were in the car.”

“So?”

Cas shakes his head, pulling me out the door with him. “Look, while we were talking to John, Dean said something to me and John asked if that was Dean’s way of proposing. He said no, _not yet_. So John asked what he meant and he said he was planning to. He brought it back up, in a more roundabout way. And I told him I’d say yes. He’s been in that mood ever since.”

I laugh, ruffling his hair. “Cause he’s a jittery little shit. He’s covering up his nerves by overcompensating. _That_ is a more typical Dean thing to do. Figures.”

Cas grins. “You realize what you’re saying, right?”

“What, that he’s covering up his nerves?”

Cas shakes his head. “Sam, that’s not what’s making him jumpy. We’re treading lightly around each other because him bringing it up means _he’s planning_ _on proposing_ , and soon.”

“So that’s why you were all pink and jumpy,” I murmur, hugging him with one arm. “Come on, food’s waiting.”

He flattens his hair with one hand, following me back inside.

Sam slides in and I sit lightly just as Dean slips out of the crowd, sliding the trays onto the tables. “Ellen has the cooks working overtime. Everyone’s ordering extra because her food’s so good.”

Some of his nervous behavior has eased, but he’s still dancing around Cas like he’s walking on fire.

Finally I can’t stand it and I snap at him, “Dean, stop that.”

He flinches and Cas ducks his head, grinning.

Dean shakes his head. “Come again?”

I yawn. “You’ve been jittery as hell since you got here, cut it out. It’s grating on my raw nerves.”

Dean shoves me a little, playfully. “You would be, too, if you were human and not some kind of rabbit.”

I grin. “I’m not a rabbit, Dean.”

“You are! You eat rabbit food and refuse to eat meat, man! You’re a damn rabbit.”

I laugh. “Stop overcompensating, you little shit. Don’t change the subject, you know you’re on edge.”

Alfie steels himself like he’s facing down the toughest thing ever. “Dean, he’s right. Relax, man.”

Dean grins and Alfie shrinks back like that makes him more intimidating.

Jo shakes her head, smacking Dean hard enough to make him jump. “Cut it out. You’re acting like you’re walking on hot coals, Dean. Relax, calm the fuck down.”

He sighs, shaking his head. “One, it’s not easy as ‘calm down’. And two, lay the hell off.”

“Dean,” Cas protests quietly. “Relax. You know as well as I do you don’t need to be on edge.”

I fire off a quick text, glancing up to see Dean’s reaction.

**_(5:15PM)_ **

**_Dean, Cas told me about the proposal thing with Dad. You’re being all jittery, even Cas noticed it. Calm the fuck down, man, or I’ll tell Jo you’re gonna propose to Cas and let her get all ‘awww’ over you. Calm the fuck down!_ **

His eyes widen just a little as they land on the text and he lifts his gaze to glare at me before sweeping off.

Cas shakes his head. “What did you do?”

“Threatened to tell a certain someone why he’s all jittery.”

I show him the text and he grins, chuckling. “I doubt she would be, but by all means go ahead.”

Jo frowns. “Sam, what are you hiding?”

“The reason Dean’s so jumpy,” Cas answers for me. “Just something we discussed in the car. He hasn’t really relaxed since. Which is really annoying.”

Jo grins. “The case, Raphael?”

Cas just shakes his head, answering vaguely, “No. Much bigger than that. More long-term.”

Jo’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I’ll leave it at that until he actually acts on it.” Cas shrugs. “He’s just being jumpy, it’s normal for the situation.”

We dig into our food, burying ourselves in delicious burgers.


	21. One Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean talks to Sam and goes to get a ring for Cas. :) Adorableness. They fall asleep curled together, their first full-night sleepover. XD It's cute and they listen to a song together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's perspective. Cute fluff.
> 
> They listen to "Like I'm Gonna Lose You" by Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend. I don't own the music, it just fits the two. :)
> 
> This is the particular version I listen to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-MBfn8XjIU

I finally get up the courage to ask to talk to Sam—over text, like the damn shy asshole I am—and he follows me outside. “What the hell is wrong with you, man?”

I shake my head, taking a deep breath. “Look, I need your help.”

“ _My_ help?”

I lower my gaze, closing my eyes. “Yes, don’t sound like that. I can’t do this alone, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. You at least know where to start.”

Sam’s voice softens. “Where to start with what?”

I raise my gaze and his head is tilted, eyes innocent and wide.

I swallow. “You know. Cas.”

Sam blinks. “What about him? I don’t know what you’re asking for.”

I close my eyes. “You seriously gonna make me say it out loud?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re asking for, so yeah.”

I sigh. “You already know about what happened with Dad?”

Sam sucks in a breath. “Yeah, the proposal?”

I nod. “Yeah. On that, I don’t...damn it, I don’t know...I want to get a ring, make it official, but I don’t know where to start. I don’t know where to go or what to do.”

“Well, has he seen Lord of the Rings?”

I grin, shrugging. “I don’ know.”

“Ask him.”

I pull out my phone, shaking my head. _One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them. Nerd._

**_(5:53PM)_ **

**_Cas, you ever seen LOTR?_ **

**_5:53PM –_ **

**_I grew up on it. Even though my dad disapproved. I always found ways. ‘Witchcraft’ bullshit._ **

**_(5:53PM)_ **

**_What witchcraft? That’s stupid._ **

**_5:54PM –_ **

**_I know, right? Great movies, and the books are so detailed._ **

**_(5:54PM)_ **

**_Who knew you were such a cute little nerd?_ **

**_5:54PM –_ **

**_Oh, shut up._ **

I grin, pocketing my phone. “Yep.”

Sam grins back. “Well, what would make a ‘cute little nerd’ like him happy? One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them?”

“Oh my god, you’re such a little nerd.”

Sam chuckles. “And it’s perfect for Cas. Personalized and adorable.”

I shake my head, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks.”

**_(5:55PM)_ **

**_Make me._ **

Sam grins and slips back inside.

I slip off to the Impala, looking up local places I can get the ring. The closest is just a couple hours away, no biggie.

I quickly text Sam, fingers flying across the keys.

**_(5:58PM)_ **

**_Sam, keep Cas occupied for a couple hours? Please?_ **

**_5:59PM –_ **

**_On it. You better be ready to carry Cas to the car, though. He’s already tired. He’ll be at Reynard’s, we gotta get some dessert, man. Just ask Gabe where he is. And be relaxed about it, it’s really suspicious when you’re super nervous._ **

**_(5:59PM)_ **

**_Yeah, I know._ **

I pocket my phone, pulling out silently and hitting the open road, finding the place and getting the ring before coming back and sliding up in front of Gabe’s bakery, ring in my pocket. _Okay._

I take a deep breath, shaking off the nerves and slipping out of the car.

**_(7:53PM)_ **

**_Cas, you wanna come home with me?_ **

**_7:54PM –_ **

**_Yeah. Gimme a minute, Gabriel’s kinda being an ass._ **

**_(7:54PM)_ **

**_Tell him I said he’s an ass. Not as bad as Raphael, but one nonetheless._ **

**_7:54PM –_ **

**_He just laughed and said nice one._ **

I grin, leaning against the car. _Relax. He already said he’d say yes. This is just a formality to make it official._

Cas pops out of the bakery, handing me a box. “Gabe refused to let me leave without it.”

I sniff at it. _Pecan pie._ “I’m not surprised. You sound tired.”

“I am. Sam refused to stop talking, which meant I couldn’t avoid Gabriel. He kept bringing out more and more and Sam just kept talking. You can only eat so much sugar.”

I grin, slipping it in the console and pulling him in for a hug. “At least you were in company.”

“You were alone?” Cas wraps his arms around me, yawning.

I grin. “Yeah.”

“Is Sam staying out or something?”

I laugh. “Yep. We already talked about it.”

Cas slips into the car, humming. “No loud music?”

“Nah, I have a specific song. Quiet.”

I drop in, fingers slipping the cord into the jack. Cas’ eyes fall on it. “I-Pod jack?”

“Sam insisted.” I shrug, shutting the door. “Newer songs aren’t on cassette.”

I scroll through, putting the song on and turning it way down, so it’s quiet enough but still audible.

**_(Song is Like I’m Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend)_ **

Cas nods his head to the song, eyes half-closed. “I like it.”

I shrug, pulling out. “It’s fitting.”

Cas grins, tapping his foot along. “For us?”

I grin back. “Yep.”

The drive home is only a few minutes, during which Cas nods along to the song, eyes half-closed in exhaustion.

Finally I pull up and Cas rubs his eyes, pushing the button and letting the seatbelt slide off. “You realize this’ll be the first night we’re completely alone all night?”

I grin, ruffling his hair. “That’s the point. No one can give us a time limit.”

Cas grins back and I slip out, closing the door and pulling his open. His grin widens and he rises to his feet, shutting the door and taking my hand. “Gabe knows?”

I nod slowly. “You know how protective he is of you. Not like he’d let me go without telling him where.”

Cas giggles. “Overprotective Gabe.”

I guide him up the stairs, scooping him up when he starts to lean on me.

I slip inside, shutting the door with my foot and weaving through the house to Sam’s room, setting Cas down on the spare bed. He tugs off his shoes and yawns, and I pull off my shoes before dropping both our shoes in the living room.

I fire off a quick, short text to both Sam and Gabe.

**_(7:58PM)_ **

**_Gabe, Cas is staying with me. Ask Sam if you want to know why, I told him already._ **

**_(7:58PM)_ **

**_Sam, tell Gabe why Cas is with me. You can stay with Jo or Gabe, your pick. Got the ring and a sleepy Cas. :)_ ** **_Stay safe, I love you._ **

When I return, Cas’ eyes are closed and his hair’s already messed up. _He looks adorable like that._

I plug my phone in before slipping under the blankets, pulling them up over Cas.

He moves, snuggling up close and wrapping his arms around me, humming.

I wrap my arms around him, shutting off the light and closing my eyes. “I love you.”

Cas grins. “I love you more.”

I shrug, amused. “I’m too tired to argue.”

He giggles, curling up against me. “Good.”

I swallow, leaning my head against him. _More than you know._

I drop to sleep, too warm and comfortable to worry about the ring just yet.


	22. Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's here at last: the proposal. XD Of course Cas says yes. Jo is all "Dean why didn't you tell me" and Sam is like "oh my god" because Cas got Dean a ring too and it's so cute. XD Enjoy!
> 
> Lots of fluff, just have to say. SO MUCH FLUFF.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas' perspective. Cute fluff and lots of hugging. :)
> 
> They sing along to a song from the Broadway musical Bonnie and Clyde, "You Love Who You Love". I don't own the song, but I think it's absolutely perfect for the moment. XD
> 
> I found the song on YouTube, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmd4xguAYnY

I wake up slowly, snuggled up against Dean.

His eyes are half-open and he’s texting with one hand while lightly stroking my hair with the other.

I don’t feel inclined enough to move, so I just close my eyes, yawning with my mouth closed.

He reaches over to set his phone down and his arm drops back around me.

I hum contentedly, and would’ve stayed like that forever if I could.

Dean’s thumb brushes back and forth over my back, his voice soft. “Hey.”

I look up, a smile automatically pulling my lips up. “Hey.”

A smile pulls at the corner of his mouth. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

I shake my head. “You didn’t. Who were you texting?”

“Sam.” Dean shrugs. “He’s an impatient ass. Already asking if I’m up.”

I grin, yawning. “Tell him to be more patient.”

Dean chuckles, brushing a stray hair out of my eyes. “I tried but he just kept arguing.”

I roll my eyes. “What an ass.”

Dean grins, kissing my forehead. “He’s like that. Impatient and rude. I’m used to it.”

I shake my head, rubbing my eyes. “He shouldn’t be like that. It’s _rude_.”

Dean chuckles, his sleepy green eyes glowing with love. “I know.”

I sigh, closing my eyes. “What time is it?”

“Ten thirty.”

I raise an eyebrow, a small smile flitting across my face. “It’s too early.”

Dean laughs, pecking me on the lips and sliding out of bed. “Stay if you want. I’m gonna make breakfast.”

I grin as he slides out of the room. _Breakfast in bed? Wow. Best boyfriend ever._

I yawn, rolling out of bed and stretching. I slip out and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. My hair’s disheveled and my clothes wrinkled. I smooth out my shirt before slipping into the shower, the hot water running over me and waking me up the rest of the way.

I dry off and slip into the clean clothes Dean had lain, folded, on the counter.

I shake my head, drying my hair and just letting it stay ruffled. No point in attempting to tame it; Dean seems to like it like that.

I slip out, dropping into a chair at the dining table.

Dean glances at me, a smile twitching his lips. “Hey.”

A small smile pulls at my lips. “Morning.”

Dean grins, flipping the bacon. “You’re adorable.”

I laugh, grinning at him. “Yep.”

He drops the bacon on two plates and pulls hashbrowns out of the oven, plating those up, too.

I shake my head, relaxing into the chair. “Sam leaving you alone?”

“For now, yeah.”

Dean winks and I burst out laughing. “You’re such a dork.”

“But you know you love me.”

I grin, crossing my arms and ignoring the protest from my ribs. “Yeah, I do. You know my first impression of you?”

“No, what is it?”

He slides eggs and cheese onto the plate and I wait until he sets the hot pan down. “Just one word: luminous.”

Dean grins, sliding a plate in front of me and sticking a fork in the eggs. “Orange juice or milk?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Pulp or no?”

Dean glances at the bottle. “Not.”

“Then orange juice.”

He grins, pouring a glass of orange juice and setting it down in front of me. He pours himself a glass of milk and sets it down on the table, grabbing a fork and his plate and sitting down next to me.

There’s a comfortable silence only broken by the clink of forks on plates. I set the fork down, finished with the eggs, and pick up a slice of bacon. “I love you.”

Dean grins, blushing pink to the tips of his ears. “Yeah, I love you, too.”

The silence overtakes us again until we finish eating. Dean takes the dishes, dropping them in the sink.

I yawn, running a hand over my hair.

I push to my feet, wincing as my ribs protest loudly. _Ow._

Dean is at my side instantly, arms around me. I wrap my arms around him, dropping my head on his shoulder.

For a silent minute, we stay like that. Dean’s hands run lightly up and down my back, drawing my attention away from the flare of pain. Then he pulls away, pecking my cheek. “You okay?”

A smile tugs on my lips and I shake my head. “One wince and you’re at my side. I’m fine.”

Dean grins, ruffling my hair. “Ribs?”

I nod, smiling back. “It’s not that bad. I’ve had worse.”

Dean slips away into the living room and I slip into the bedroom to grab the custom Star Wars ring, snug in its box, and slip it in my pocket.

I slip into the living room and fall onto the couch, watching in amusement as Dean slips around, not visible for more than a few seconds.

Finally he reappears, falling next to me and dropping an arm around my shoulders.

I lean into him, wrapping an arm around him. A slow song starts to play and Dean clears his throat, singing along softly in a lower key. **_(“You Love Who You Love” from Bonnie and Clyde)_**

I join in, eyes closed. “ _I only care that he’s mine and I am his. There ain’t no rules, that’s how it is! Most men would hate to be standin’ in my shoes. But true love’s somethin’ you don’t choose._ ”

I follow his tendency to change the female words (“most girls would hate to be standing in my shoes”) to male versions of the same thing.

We finish off the song together and Dean grins, kissing my forehead. “You know the song?”

I nod slowly. “I’ve heard it a couple times.”

Dean slips off the couch and I open my eyes in surprise.

He sinks down on one knee, pulling out a small black box. _Oh my god._

My eyes widen and a small smile pulls on my lips as Dean’s fingers touch the lip of the box. “Cas?”

I swallow the surprise, eyes darting between the box and his soft smile. “Yeah?”

Dean opens the box and continues, “Will you marry me?”

My hands cover my mouth, hiding a wide grin. _The One Ring from Lord of the Rings. Oh my god._

I slide off the couch, throwing my arms around him. “Always.”

He laughs, wrapping his arms around me. “You like it?”

“Hell yeah,” I breathe lightly, squeezing him before pulling away, slipping a hand in my pocket.

With Dean’s head still over my shoulder and the box still out of his sight, I slip his ring out of the box and, pocketing the box again, take his right hand—the side we usually hold hands with—and slip the ring on.

He lifts his head and his eyes light up. “ _Cas._ ”

I grin, tilting my head. “Look at the engraving. Really look.”

He slips it off, turning the ring in his hands. On the outside, _I love you_ from Star Wars. Next to it, a custom engraving (a continuation to the quote)— _forever and always ~Cas_ —and on the inside, _I know ~Dean_ , the quote from Star Wars with his name.

He grins, slipping it back on. “Star Wars?”

“Yep.” I can’t keep the wide grin off my face as we sit there, on our knees together on the floor.

He slips the ring out of the box, setting it aside and slipping the ring on my left hand.

It gleams in the light and Dean teases, “Where’d you disappear to?”

I giggle, twirling it on my finger. “Is there such a thing as Heaven on Earth?”

Dean grins, touching the ring with a finger. “Maybe. It’s not plastic, it’s solid gold. Just like your heart.”

I laugh again, twirling it. _Awww...! Dean, that’s so sweet._ “And it’s not too big.”

Dean’s grin widens. “Of course it’s not.”

I fold him in my arms, burying my grin in his shoulder. “I love you, Dean.”

Dean’s arms slip back around me. “I love you more, Cas.”

I feel my grin widen, too happy to argue. “That’s debatable, but I’ll leave it at that.”

Dean chuckles. “You wanna prove it?”

I pull away, shaking my head with a small smile. “You’re impossible.”

“And yet you love me.”

My grin spreads back across my face. “Yeah, so?”

Dean shakes his head and kisses me—not a peck on the lips, full-blown kiss. I kiss him back, my mind going blank for a second with pure bliss.

Dean pulls away slowly, nipping my lip and stealing my breath. “Not so impossible, after all.”

I grin, ruffling his hair. “Maybe not.”

He moves the box up onto the entertainment center before rising to his feet, pulling me up with him. The gentle cautiousness with which he does it takes my breath away again, just after I got it back. I laugh breathlessly, tightening my grip around him.

Dean smiles into my shoulder, murmuring, “Know what?”

I place my ear over his fluttering heart, grinning. “What?”

Dean chuckles. “We’re gonna have to tell everyone.”

I giggle, tightening my grip. “Not everyone just yet. First Sam and Gabe, _then_ maybe everyone else.”

Dean’s grin widens. “Sam knows, and he probably told Gabriel.”

“What?”

Dean laughs. “Sam’s my baby brother, he pulled me aside to ask why I was so on edge and I told him. He laughed his ass off, but he was pretty cool about it.”

I shake my head. “He didn’t see the ring, right?”

“Nah. He never saw the ring.”

I release him, slipping my fingers through his. “Then let’s go show him.”

Dean pulls out his phone, firing off two texts before pocketing it. “Okay.”

By the time we make it down the stairs, both people have replied and Dean replies back.

He pulls out the keys, unlocking the car. He holds open the door for me before making his way over to the driver’s side and sliding in.

I shut the door, buckling. Dean buckles down, too, shutting his door and turning the keys. The Impala sputters to life, purring her way down the driveway.

In minutes, we pull up in front of Reynard’s. I watch as Dean kills the engine and flits around, pulling the door open for me. I slip out of the car, shutting the door with my foot and taking his hand in mine.

I peek in the door, spotting the morning regulars. I pull it open, slipping inside.

Sam and Jo look up from a table near the back, waving us over.

We weave through over to them and Sam grins, raising an eyebrow at Dean. “You said it was important?”

Jo’s curiosity tells me Sam didn’t divulge her in the current situation.

Dean and I exchange a quick glance before he lifts our intertwined hands, rings gleaming in the light.

Sam sucks in a breath. “Oh my god.”

Jo’s eyes widen. “Oh my god! _Dean_ , why didn’t you tell me?”

“That would’ve killed the moment if everyone knew.” Dean flashes a smile, shrugging. “Besides, Sam only knew because I told him before.”

Sam rises to his feet. “Can I see?”

I lift our hands and Sam spins the ring on Dean’s finger. “Holy shit, Cas, how much did you spend?”

I shrug. “Not that much. It came out of the family funds, and seeing as everyone in my family makes an unfair amount of money it’s not too expensive.”

Dean grins. “Sam, it’s _pure gold_. Purest there is.”

He nods to my ring and Sam touches it with a finger. “Seriously? How much did you spend?”

Dean blushes scarlet, ducking his head. “I don’t have to tell you.”

My grin widens. _Which means ‘too expensive to say a figure’, knowing Dean._ “Why should the money matter?”

Sam shrugs. “Whatever.”

Dean jerks his head towards the ceiling. “Gabe?”

Sam nods. “He refused to leave the apartment just yet. Said if it’s so important, knock.”

I laugh. “He has _no idea_.”

Sam grins. “Yeah, he has no idea why it’s so important.”

Dean ruffles Sam’s hair.

It hits me after a second that Sam’s _my_ brother now, too. And that makes Lucifer, Gabriel, and Michael all _Dean’s_ brothers, and Anna _his_ sister, and Dad _his_ dad, and _oh my god John is actually my dad now_.

I shake my head, chuckling. _That’s a strange thought._

Dean raises an eyebrow. “What?”

I grin at him. “I just kinda realized what this means. You realize Gabe’s _your_ brother, too? And Michael and Lucifer? And Anna, too. And both our dads. And that makes Sam _my_ brother.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah, that’s a weird thought.”

Sam laughs, shaking his head. “Oh my god, you’re right.”

Jo grins, rising to her feet. “Your families both got one bigger.”

I shrug. “Totally, one hundred percent worth it.”

Dean grins, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “So I have a big brother now. That’s a strange thought.”

I laugh. “Yeah, Gabe’s twenty-four.”

“I’m only nineteen. So, yeah. Big brother. That’s weird.”

I grin. “Lucifer and Michael, too. And Anna. Anna’s, like, twenty-seven, I think. I didn’t really keep track. Lucifer and Michael are twins, both of them are twenty-six.”

Dean raises an eyebrow. “ _Three_ older brothers. And an older _sister_. Well, I’m screwed.”

We all laugh, ending up gasping for breath. “Yeah, you are.”

We laugh again, shorter this time.

Sam shakes his head, grinning. “That means me, too, Dean. I’m your brother. That means _I_ get _four older brothers_ _and_ _an older sister_. And a dad, too?”

I grin, nudging Dean. “Yeah. You screwed Sammy over, too.”

Dean shrugs. “Completely worth it.”

Jo shakes her head, still giggling. “Oh my god. This is so complicated.”

“Of course it is.”

I nudge Dean, nodding up. “Ready to talk to him? Tell him he’s got another baby brother now?”

“Maybe we should word it like that.” Dean winks and I grin.

We slip out and I knock on the door in our secret pattern, calling, “Gabe! Get your lazy ass out here!”

Gabriel pops out, hair disheveled. “Who’re you calling lazy ass?”

I grin, nudging the door open with my foot. “Let us in. We need to talk.”

He steps aside and we slip in. Dean glances around, taking in the craziness of the place with a quick once-over.

Gabriel comes grumbling up the stairs. “What is _so damn important_ you have to wake me up before one pm?”

I clear my throat. “It’s complicated. _Really_ fucking long story short, you’ve got a new baby brother. Or two.”

Disoriented, Gabriel shakes his head. “What?”

I grin at Dean. “He’s nineteen.”

Gabriel’s eyes widen in understanding. “Wait, _what?_ ”

Dean lifts our intertwined and ringed hands. “See?”

His eyes fall on the rings and widen. “Rings? What— _oh._ ”

I grin. “You wanted to know why I spent the night? Many reasons, the proposal among them.”

Gabriel shakes his head. “I’m sure Michael, Lucifer, and Dad’ll be _thrilled_. It’s cool, don’t get me wrong. But I’m not awake enough to care.”

Dean grins. “You do realize you get _two_ little brothers? Sam’s your brother-in-law now.”

Gabriel laughs. “That’s weird. He’s been my friend since before all this.”

“Who says your brother can’t be your friend? I mean, look at you.” I nod to Gabriel. “You’re my big brother. You’re also my best friend ever.”

Gabriel grins, his sleepy eyes sparking with amusement. “That’s true, I suppose. Whatever.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You wanna see them?”

He wanders closer. “Why the hell not?”

I lift our hands and Gabriel notices the one on my finger first. “One ring to rule them all, am I right?”

I grin, nodding. “Yeah. Guess what?”

“What?”

I nod to Dean’s ring. “Star Wars, Gabe.”

Gabriel grins, casting a quick glance its way. “You little nerd.”

Dean chuckles, smirking at him. “So you’re my big brother now.”

Gabriel shakes his head. “Guess I am.”

I nudge Dean and we exchange a quick glance. He raises an eyebrow but doesn’t comment.

I release Dean’s hand, pulling Gabriel in for a hug. “I love you.”

He blinks and wraps his arms around me, murmuring, “I love you more. Always have, always will.”

A half-smile pulls at my lips. “You have no idea, man. I might challenge that.”

Gabriel chuckles, running a hand over my hair. “We might need to have a talk later on about that. For now, you be as happy as you want to be.”

I hug him tighter and release, ruffling his hair. “Okay.”

My hand finds Dean’s and we make our way out together, bearing grins and sharing small laughs.


End file.
